Fed up of my cousins comments about benefits and UC

[glassor2]

I’m a single mum of two kids, ages 13 and 5. My older son has a relationship with his dad, but my younger son’s dad moved away a couple of years ago and doesn’t see him often-usually once or twice a year. He doesn’t provide any financial support, and since he moves around for work (he used to live in Canada and now lives in Australia), it has been challenging to get child maintenance to chase him.

I work 3-4 days a week (sometimes more if there’s overtime available) and receive a top up from UC. My mum occasionally helps with child care, but she also has a full time job. It can be difficult handling everything on my own, but I manage.

Anyway, I have a family member I'm quite close to, and she often makes comments, not aimed at me, but towards people who claim UC. For example, she mentioned that it's unfair for her to pay almost £300 a month in tax while others can work part time and avoid paying anything (I don’t earn enough to pay tax) and that she has to pay more to subsidise the people that don't. She even told the entire family that she pays almost £400 a month, including national insurance, which made things awkward and nobody knew what to say.

From what I know, she doesn't earn a huge wage, so I can see why it would be frustrating for her to have to pay that much. It's a lot of money. However, it's not our fault, and if she's upset, her anger should be directed at the government, not at those who are rightfully claiming.

Everyone’s situation is different, and some people need help. I never chose to be a single parent, and I can't control the fact that my ex chose to leave and decided not to support his child financially. I'm doing my best, just like many others on UC are.

I don't think she's intentionally trying to upset me, but she is.

AIBU? How do I tackle this?

YABU

Heck. Easily. I was a full-time TA and only earning this for years.

Only £300 a month tax. She should count herself lucky. I pay more than three times that. 😁

YANBU. We all need a little help from time to time. You are raising two children and have your hands full, you are working whenever you can and you are entitled to whatever you get.

You're raising your children to be law abiding, setting them a good work example and being a good mum to them. I'm sure when they are teens you will work more. Until then, ignore her. One day she will be made redundant and be glad for the safety net. Hold your head high.

I’m also unsure how you are working 3-4 days a week and earning below 12k. Do you mean you don’t work full days but maybe a couple of hours a day?

This!!! People who are able to work full time and acting jealous of benefits claimants is so bizarre. Don’t work then, give up a decent chunk of your income and earning potential and get yourself on benefits , see if it’s all it’s cracked up to be!

The anger should be directed at the ( usually) dads that don't provide for their kids but then again you'd still get just as much UC if you did get CM.
I can see why people get fed up with paying so much tax but I'm guessing that actually a lot of the UC you get just goes to pay childcare costs?

You should aim your ire for the feckless fathers not paying for their children!

I work full time and receive child benefit only - benefits are for people like OP. A civilised society takes care of their people

You could pay for childcare like everybody else

Ugh, ignore the comments here and your cousin’s op. People have no idea how hard it is being a single parent. I work 30 hours a week with 2 primary aged kids. I wouldn’t save the taxpayer any money by working full time because of the extra childcare costs. I cannot do it anyway because I already frequently have to work on my “day off” to make time up if I’ve had to take a child to an appointment or whatever. You’re doing great and you’ll have to work more as your kids get older but sometimes just getting through the day is a massive achievement.

Sorry, I agree with this. People shouldn't be able to choose not to work and be supported by the sky high tax that the rest of us pay. I get taxed an entire month's worth of rent every month and I'm not a high earner, only 35k. I can only pay bills, no real fun money, despite working ridiculous hours.

Benefits in this country are too generous to those who choose not to work and penalise people who do work. It just encourages people to have children that they can't afford.

@PixiePuffBall with what money?

I'm not sure about her child now as he is 5 but when he was younger childcare would have been "funded" from the age of 2 or 3.
What's the difference between that and her receiving a top up benefit?

Agree. People will do what is incentivised. It's mad that people working full time take home less after taxes and essential outgoings than people on various benefits (rent subsidies, UC, child benefit and so on). Not any individual's fault, but it is kind of galling for the rest of us who work and pay our own way (and everyone else's way)

Because having people work PT is better than them not working at all, and that PT job might change to a full time job when kids are older or circumstances have changed. That PT is helping people get skills, experience, is role modelling for children who see parents work and can help break the cycle of generational unemployment for many families.
And I say that as someone who has only ever worked, never been eligible for any. Benefit if any kind, not even child benefit,and who’s household pays a small fortune in tax.

Many people work full time with little or no support and small children. My mum did all of my childhood, as did her mum. Many people see working part time and supplementing their income with UC as a choice.

You should check your tax code as I earn more than you and absolutely do not pay a month's rent in taxes.

Benefits for people who do not work is £400.14 per month - not very generous.

The OP works.

I should think op needs this UC payment, or else would be raising a child in poverty. With all the disadvantages that creates. Surely this is what the system is for! I agree with pp a civilised society takes care of its people.

So do I? We both work full time

Frankly, get a higher paying job or make sacrifices. Like the rest of us do to pay for childcare

Her UC would only increase, to cover childcare costs.

Who looked after the children whilst your parents were working?

Childcare isn’t available everywhere. My children were on the waiting list for after school club for 18+ months.

This. The entitlement is incredible. Me and DH both work full time and pay for childcare. We just have to make it work

My DIL works full time, and earns more than NMW. She gets around £600 a month in UC towards her £1400 a month rent.

If she was able to get social housing, she wouldn't be entitled to a penny in UC, because her rent would be significantly lower. The main beneficiary of her UC is her landlord!

If rented accommodation wasn't so expensive, especially in London and the SE, the amount paid out in UC would fall dramatically imo.

You have a partner. OP does not. It’s very difficult being a single parent and having the responsibility all on you.

”Get a higher paying job” as if it’s that easy. Unbelievable.