Fed up of my cousins comments about benefits and UC

[glassor2]

I’m a single mum of two kids, ages 13 and 5. My older son has a relationship with his dad, but my younger son’s dad moved away a couple of years ago and doesn’t see him often-usually once or twice a year. He doesn’t provide any financial support, and since he moves around for work (he used to live in Canada and now lives in Australia), it has been challenging to get child maintenance to chase him.

I work 3-4 days a week (sometimes more if there’s overtime available) and receive a top up from UC. My mum occasionally helps with child care, but she also has a full time job. It can be difficult handling everything on my own, but I manage.

Anyway, I have a family member I'm quite close to, and she often makes comments, not aimed at me, but towards people who claim UC. For example, she mentioned that it's unfair for her to pay almost £300 a month in tax while others can work part time and avoid paying anything (I don’t earn enough to pay tax) and that she has to pay more to subsidise the people that don't. She even told the entire family that she pays almost £400 a month, including national insurance, which made things awkward and nobody knew what to say.

From what I know, she doesn't earn a huge wage, so I can see why it would be frustrating for her to have to pay that much. It's a lot of money. However, it's not our fault, and if she's upset, her anger should be directed at the government, not at those who are rightfully claiming.

Everyone’s situation is different, and some people need help. I never chose to be a single parent, and I can't control the fact that my ex chose to leave and decided not to support his child financially. I'm doing my best, just like many others on UC are.

I don't think she's intentionally trying to upset me, but she is.

AIBU? How do I tackle this?

This

Which choice is that though?

On 101k after tax they're on £1325 A WEEK, just for keepsies. Obviously some of that will likely go into a cushty pension, and they will also probably have a lovely property they're paying the mortgage on, which they will eventually own. Something any single mum on UC in a council flat will not have. Apparently they forget all that.

Funny that a lot of the people who are paying higher rate taxes that have commented on this thread, are ok with their money going on UC.

It’s because people on normal rate taxes want someone to blame for their own struggles and a lot of anger seems to be directed at UC and other benefits. The squeezed middles are very bad for this.

She's certainly allowed to think or say whatever she wants, are you saying you want to censor, or silence her? You can also speak and defend your position, if you can, or ask her not to talk about it, or just not hang around with her.

OMG... so hard done by. Breadline stuff.

Well not everyone lives in London for a start COL is higher there. The standard allowance for someone above 25 with 2 kids is 12540 per annum £1045 per month they only get that if they earn less than 411 a month then every pound over takes off 55p

And when we have a nation full of CEOs, doctors, directors, and senior managers because everyone has "bettered" themselves, who is going to staff the supermarkets, support children's education, empty the bins, and care for the elderly?

Minimum wage doesn't mean a job isn't important and there should not be a push for "bettering" just for the sake of it. NMW should be at a level that enables a family to live respectable lifestyle, the scandal here is that it doesn't and that top-ups are 100% necessary in order to keep people out of poverty.

It's not subsiding choices, it's ensuring that the vital roles on society are filled because we need people in so-called 'unskilled' jobs.

Well said

You’re totally missing the point. I know it seems crazy and that’s because it is, it’s why everything is slowly grinding to a halt. The system no longer makes any sense.

The people in the well paid jobs will be quick to moan that their bins are not emptied and their desks are not cleaned. The toilets in their building left to get gross.
The doctors will complain about their patients laying in their own waste, and the clinical waste bin full.
And they all pop into a shop on the way home and find there is nothing on the shelves.

Presuming they're renting, rent would need to be paid out of that £1500 as it would include a housing element. The exact amount of housing element is capped based on how many bedrooms they're eligible for whatever the local housing allowance is (varies by area). They don't just get given £1500 to keep and no bills.

If they were directing their anger at the people who choose the tax brackets and set the terms then I’d understand but nobody on UC did that did they it’s nuts!

I was commenting on someone saying that someone on £101k is somehow less well off than someone on UC.
It is crazy, because it is bullshit.

Minimum wage approx 12.20 an hour, 6 hour day whilst little one at school would be approx £73 a day , 3 days a week £219 a week, that is under a grand a month, not sure whats difficult to understand about that tbh

But they can only make that choice at the expense of other people choosing not to and then subsiding other people who make that choice. If we all made that choice, the system wouldn’t work - would it? It’s not about having as much money as possible at all but we all have to cut our cloth accordingly without expecting other people to foot the bill.

Someone on £125k earns five times as much as someone on minimum wage but pays over 18 times as much tax and NI. MPs earn £93k so would not be additional tax rate payers (unless they have other income). CEO’s (particulary of large companies) earn a lot more than £125k. Your anger is directed at the wrong people. If you increase the tax burden even further on those earning £100k + you will drive out even more highly skilled professionals from this country.

Not less well off. They have less disposable cash after childcare and housing (assuming 2 kids in childcare) and UC recipient has free housing.

But people who are at the literal bottom.. the NMW people... they get topped up in UC so they can afford to LIVE.

How is that wrong? Society needs the people doing those jobs.

And it is not just people on NMW getting topped up... nurses get topped up too. Are you going to tell them to just go and get a better job?

She doesn't have free housing. She has to pay rent out of her income which is a mix of wages and UC.

I meant subsidising choices like working part-time. Or not working at all. Or deciding you are too stressed to,work. I read the other day the age for old age pensions will be eventually rising to 80, So let's hope these old folk are able to carry on working to support all the benefit claimants. It's beyond a joke. Shame on Labour for not tackling it when they had the chance

I’ve never claimed so was just going off the gov figures, don’t people get social housing and cash? You’ve got to admit it’s a pretty crazy situation though even if my figures are slightly out.

You only get funded hours if you’re working though - the point is to make it easier for patents to work which actually reduces the benefits bill, I assume.

I am meaning everyone’s mental health is different same as everyone’s earning power, not everyone can be superwoman and work in high flying jobs, society just isn’t like that and we need carers, bin men, nursery teachers and delivery drivers

Yes I agree Precious Tatus