Fed up of my cousins comments about benefits and UC

[glassor2]

I’m a single mum of two kids, ages 13 and 5. My older son has a relationship with his dad, but my younger son’s dad moved away a couple of years ago and doesn’t see him often-usually once or twice a year. He doesn’t provide any financial support, and since he moves around for work (he used to live in Canada and now lives in Australia), it has been challenging to get child maintenance to chase him.

I work 3-4 days a week (sometimes more if there’s overtime available) and receive a top up from UC. My mum occasionally helps with child care, but she also has a full time job. It can be difficult handling everything on my own, but I manage.

Anyway, I have a family member I'm quite close to, and she often makes comments, not aimed at me, but towards people who claim UC. For example, she mentioned that it's unfair for her to pay almost £300 a month in tax while others can work part time and avoid paying anything (I don’t earn enough to pay tax) and that she has to pay more to subsidise the people that don't. She even told the entire family that she pays almost £400 a month, including national insurance, which made things awkward and nobody knew what to say.

From what I know, she doesn't earn a huge wage, so I can see why it would be frustrating for her to have to pay that much. It's a lot of money. However, it's not our fault, and if she's upset, her anger should be directed at the government, not at those who are rightfully claiming.

Everyone’s situation is different, and some people need help. I never chose to be a single parent, and I can't control the fact that my ex chose to leave and decided not to support his child financially. I'm doing my best, just like many others on UC are.

I don't think she's intentionally trying to upset me, but she is.

AIBU? How do I tackle this?

Im a single parent to a teenager.
I work full time for local government and pay tax.
Im entitled to UC.
Was more when I needed childcare.
Id love to not have to rely on handouts.
If I was paid a living wage and rent wasn’t extortionate I wouldn’t need to.
I work very hard in an essential role.

There's nothing wrong with people on low income receiving top up benefits, no one has argued against that. What is wrong is people choosing to work part time and receiving benefits (with the emphasis on choosing, so not if you're disabled or a carer or have no access to childcare). My view is do your best by working full time and if you still need help due to high rent or childcare costs then by all means you should receive it.

What alot of people don't realise is even if you did work full time but on a low income as a single parent you would still get Universal Credit. If I had a take home pay of £2500 a month I'd still get 400-500 a month from UC and my rent is low as I'm in the north, rent down south is 3-4 times what my area is.
I'm in the exact same boat, not much help, carrying all the mental load of the kids and the house, more hours would burn me out. Like you I work although I do pay a good bit of tax each month and get the top up.
Anyone working full time should be able to have a comfortable life and not need a top up, the system and the country in general is screwed and people who complain about the benefits system don't understand it probably because they're lucky enough to have never have needed it. Keep going OP from a working single mother to another 🩷

The system allows people to work PT and get a top up though. So they are doing nothing wrong by doing what the system is offering them.

Hate the game, not the player.

We receive UC , and I work part time due to child care needs; and can’t get childcare due to children having additional needs that after school clubs can’t manage . It would cost the taxpayers far more if I gave up my kids to social work so I could work full time, versus what I get in UC . If ppl think life on UC is so great, why aren’t they quitting work ? Na, much better to look down on ppl doing their best !!

I work part time and pay tax (not as much as your cousin but some months can be £100-£200) working only 108 hours every 4 weeks and yes my income is topped up by UC. Tell your cousin that at least you're working and not fully relying on the benefits system.

I’m a boomer myself @LakieLady. The post just reeked of the entitlement of some from our generation who don’t appreciate that we had it good.

Paying and receiving offsets it, doesn’t it?
What about the people paying and not taking anything back?

I think equally people who complain about net tax payers being selfish have not been Net tax payers.

Well put! I don’t have an amazing salary but it well above average and I pay nearly £600 a month in tax. And yes I do get pissed off when people who make no attempt to work get generous benefits. I’ve never claimed in my life, so maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong!

I pay a lot of tax and get very fed up with people working part time and claiming benefits that I am contributing towards. Children can go to breakfast clubs and after school clubs. If you can't afford to bring up your children then don't have them

Another moronic comment. I bet you’re on other posts bemoaning the falling population levels. Not all breakfast/after school clubs are free, did you know that?

No one is paying tax and not getting anything back.

@XenoBitch Obviously it is a system failure, they are not committing benefit fraud, no one is claiming that. But I expect fixing the system by tightening the work requirements would inevitably cause unintended real distress to some categories of claimants (like those who can't access childcare, for example), and in the meantime people who could work more, don't, because why would they?

You are doing nothing wrong. It’s very difficult to work full time with a 5 year old and you are doing the best you can. I guess some people on here are jealous?

OP is working though. She works part time because she is a single mum.

OP is working

If she were claiming alot of childcare due to working more her entitlement would go up not down

I can guarantee I have, others may not have. I had to cut my hours because I became a single parent, I didn't ask for that and had no control over it. There's no childcare for shift work, I'd earn less working full time at minimum wage than part time on my decent wage.
Part time is misleading too, my Part time is 24hrs a week, anything under 37.5 is considered Part time

OP works though…

I worked full time from when my child was five months old. Didn't want to but I had to.

Im not a boomer but I don’t think boomers had as good as is often implied! Yes things like housing was cheaper but pay was much lower so it is all academic really! I think one of the biggest differences with boomers looking at my parents, apart from buying a house they would by something like a new car unless they could buy it outright whereas now people pile onto credit cards and loans to buy things!

National Insurance. That is a contribution towards her pension. Effectively that is a form of long term saving.

It is remarkable how many people think this, but it is not true. It is not a contribution to a pension. Paying NI gives you an entitlement to a pension but it is not savings into a pension pot. NI money goes into the general tax bucket. Today's pensioners are paid from today's taxes

You could have chose not to though. But you didn't.

I did say those that don’t attempt to work 😳

OP you'll get very little support here because most people on here live very charmed lives and will never be unlucky enough to have to claim UC. If UC is so great, quit your job and go and claim it. Live the so-called easy life you think people on benefits have.

There is nothing wrong with having a young child and working part time. If OP was full time, they'd be using funded hours. Also, this is meant to be a feminist website, yet time and time again I see people judging mothers who work full time and send their baby to nursery, but also judging mothers for not doing so and dropping work hours. If your feminism isn't for single, struggling working mothers, who is it for?? Working full time as a single mum to a young child would be very difficult.

The welfare state exists to support people like this, who, right now, struggle to work full time. Also fuck off with 'get a better paying job'. It's hard for bloody graduates to get jobs right now. You can't just roll out of school with no GCSEs anymore and get a job with a gold plated pension at the end of it.

Also, OP shouldn't have to 'get a better paying job'. A radical point of view on here apparently, but every single person who is working full time should be on a liveable wage where you have some spare to save and for pleasure