Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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Just as well that didn't happen then isn't it? Not sure where you got the idea that OPs father was ever involved in any of this.

Thank you. Bloody hate mumsnet at times. I came for advice and sympathy, why would I make this up? And last thing I need is accusations and attacks on my personality. But the that's what I get for posting on MN, right?!

In the light of day I an see now that they've cut back a few shrubs to stumps and they've left my cherry tree in. Everything else is gone though

To be fair, I'm not the type of person to shout at anyone, even though I mentioned "going mental" at the builder earlier. I just cried instead and now putting a plan of action into place. I will speak to the builder when I'm less upset but DH has already had a word, and the builder is equally as shocked at what his dad has done. I will be telling him that I'm not going to pay the full bill as I have to now pay for new plants. He can sort that out with his father.

I can completely understand how you feel. I would also be devastated. I have plants that have great sentimental meaning to me, some over 30 years old and my garden is my sanctuary. I would be inconsolable if I lost everything in it.

Ask him what he did with the plants. Are any possible to rescue?

So sorry.

It says a lot about you, that you are so upset about this. Our new neighbors have moved in and flattened their beautiful established garden, including cutting down fig and pear trees that were full of fruit, to create a driveway for their expensive cars. They've concreted the entire garden, and put in a huge swimming pool, and a paved terrace. It's 40c here, and they've obliterated all their shade trees. Your respect for established plants is admirable.

That's a good update. Glad your DH has manned up and got over his “fear of confrontation”.

Many shrubs benefit from hard pruning, so you might get a nice surprise with some of those. I hope that you will soon have a garden again that you can enjoy.

This is absolutely awful. i really feel for you OP. How can you possibly think you m ight be being unreasonable? Of course you are not. This builder has crossed every line and is guilty of criminal damage. If that does not happen (police probably won't be interested) sue the bastard not just for loss of the monetary valued of your plants and trees, but the amenity they gave your garden in terms of beauty and privacy, etc, AND for your emotional distress including loss of your feelings of safety and sanctuary and the sentimental value of some of your garden plants. This is all perfectly valid.

What an utter bastard, don't hold back from letting him know how bad this is and making clear he has to compensate you completely.

If you are in the UK i am pretty sure it would need planning permission to do this. Councils now take a dim view of hard surfaces replacing grass or gravel because they don't drain well and it can lead to localised flooding. It is also disastrous for wildlife as birds and insects can no longer feed.

OMG OP! Just want to say that I am so sorry, and if this happened to me I would be horrified and would cry for days probably! I don’t even have my own garden at the moment but I hope to have one again and established trees and shrubs are what I really value. Fruit trees especially.

What on earth were they thinking? It’s a huge job to fully clear a garden (or almost) and an unnecessary expense. And they absolutely should have made it clear what they meant before going ahead with something so drastic, especially with the garden full of their junk which is what anyone would have thought they meant.

Thank you. I felt the same when my neighbours did that too.

And he did not say anything right then? "Put back my trees!" / How dare you destroy my garden? Anything at all?

Edit: I am not trying to question you and you are absolutely right to be devastated. I would be as well. It's just incredibly unfortunate that your DH didn't act then and there...

You are perfectly reasonable to deduct the cost for the new plants. He will have to sort that out with this father (and not you).

Poor you - what a horrible suprise. Does sound as though something was missed in translation with the instructions given to the guys doing the work. However - not your fault at all and I would be asking for something towards landscaping and planting as well as the plants themselves. Best of luck with creating your new garden.

Totally possible to do in a day whilst DH was at work.

well in that case you have utterly exaggerated what they have done to the garden.

screenshot of this post nuclear explosion garden?

I don’t believe you have made it up

I think you have simply employed a great deal of hyperbole

Appalling, so sorry.
Builders can be careless. Nothing like as bad as this but when we extended the kitchen, I noticed that after completion an abutilon (lovely pretty flowers) quite close to the new wall had gone. I didn't say anything about it though.

Not ok. Give the builder and his dad a bill for all the plants and lawn. I am sure his insurance would cover it . Don’t let them get away with it .

It sounds like it could be the dad didn't realised what had happened either? Unless he stayed on site all day helping them?

If he got men in to clear the garden and left them to it, it may be that they assumed it ALL needed to go, so just got on with it, it sounds like a real breakdown of communication, SOMEONE assumed, but it's not clear who, but it may not be the builders dad fault entirely, although he should have been at least supervising!

I'd be furious OP and I think the builder should be deducting the cost of repopulating the garden at least, ultimately this cock up is his responsibility to sort out.

How awful for you. The shrubs will probably recover, but the sentimental value of things that are gone is very high. Part of your conversation with the builder needs to be clarifying exactly what they did and didn't do to the garden to help you plan, eg, what exactly did they dig out, snd what exactly did they cut back? As others have suggested, take your time - plan, maybe join gardening groups on nextdoor if you aren't a member already as these groups do lots of plant swapping and giving away. If you have the money maybe get a garden designer in to talk through your ideas and do you some drawings, which is what I did after our exte sion was built. If you then do the work yourself its not that expensive. Personally I think accessing this sort of professional advice is worth its weight in gold but I know that's not a view universally shared. Good luck talking to the builder. If you find confrontation difficult, try asking questions before you explain how much its a problem.

Am with you on feeling absolutely devastated by their actions. My garden is also my sanctuary.
If you haven't paid their final bill, don't for the moment.
Write to them to outline the destruction they have caused and without permission. You will be seeking a quote to have their damage made good (buying in mature,more expensive plants if needs be) and billing them for it/deducting from final bill. I know this will never be the same as having the originals but it moves towards....check what the builders have done with the plants, as they may have used for another job....
There is always an agreement with builders as to who disposes of their rubbish. Presumably the agreement was they would, having stored it in your garden for such a long time. Clearing a garden does not mean removing mature/established plants and trees. Whilst some suggest it's a misunderstanding, it's not, it's builders doing work they have not been requested to do.
Small claims if needs be.

Glad to hear the builder was surprised, too. Suggests he’ll be reasonable about this going forward. Hope your new garden will be even nicer than your last… although I realise that plants with sentimental value can’t be replaced. I was livid when I read your post this morning and it’s not even my garden. Slapdash builders wind me up. I’ve calmed down now.

I would be heartbroken too. That’s awful.

Builder is slow?

A year late?

either more exaggerations or understatement of the century