Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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@Piknik "There is nothing to be done now, but my husband expected you to clear the rubble, not strip our whole garden.

Not sure it’s a good idea to mention her husband, seeing as he didn’t speak up at the time. That just begs the question: why didn’t he say anything? Probably best to keep him out of it and stick to the facts. Garden clearance was not discussed, required or desired. It’s needs to be reinstated and they will need to shoulder the cost.

Or, secret option number 3, she can talk to him, explain the problem and ask him what he is going to do to rectify it.

We don’t have to just chalk everything up to experience, we can ask people to fix their mistakes.

this. When we had our (biggish) garden stripped out and hard landscaping added, the strip out took 2 husky blokes less than a day including demolishing two raised beds made from stones, digging out the brambles and so on.

Yes, why should it be OP having to chalk it up to experience and live with the builders' bizarre overreach - and not the builders having to do the same in putting their massive error as right as possible, at their own expense?

It’s a very useful tool to help you save time and unless you’re legally trained, I would advise anyone to run it through gpt as the wording is important, especially if it goes to court. You can still edit it yourself to make sure you’re happy with the final draft.

Horrifying. Take pictures and think about next steps. Before and after with evidence of what happened for a review of the builders and then I’d contact the bbc for Charlie Dimmock. Seriously.

ChatGPT invents legal citations and rules.

I would be devastated. I would be so bloody angry at my DH too. But to be honest by "clear the garden" I would have understood, remove any building rubble, debris, mess etc, not actual plants from the garden.

I don't know how you are sorted for money, but I would be tempted to replace any trees with as mature ones as you think you can afford rather than looking at a scrawny sapling for years and feeling sad about what you lost.

So sorry op, I would be grieving the loss of much loved plants too.

I have so many questions 😬
They pulled up your entire garden, including getting rid of your lawn, and your trees, because they said they'd tidy up - surely that means they'll clear their crap, ie bags of rubble etc. Not suddenly go into the landscaping and fruit tree felling trade as well?!
Your trees - you said they're big enough to provide privacy, but now said they're little ones that are easily pulled up and maybe bear a little fruit?
Also - if your DH wasn't there, how does he know that a team of Romanian helpers came?
Also how would you even know their nationality, unless they have "Romanian Workers" or whatever on the side of their van 🫤

OP this is devastating, I'm so so so sorry. xx

Agree. You cannot trust gpt for legal citations on every occasion unless it references the source but you can use it to help you structure legal arguments and use accurate legal terminology in your letters.

I agree. It’s awful, I would be really unhappy about all the plants I’ve got with sentimental value (no financial value but some from parents, brothers, first house etc) but given the conversation that happened, I don’t think you will get far. To be honest, I’d be more annoyed with my partner in this circumstance (he has form for not clarifying). If someone had said to me ‘shall I clear the garden’ I’d have said ‘yes, the rubbish but leave the plants’. That question would have set warning bells off in my head. I can imagine OH just going ‘yes, fine’ and coming back to scorched earth!

I think you are well within your rights to not pay any extra and also you could just say ‘I only ever meant for the rubbish to be cleared, many of those plants were of great sentimental value, not to mention the time and money, something to bear in mind when you come to the end of a job’. But whether it will even sink in, it won’t bring the plants back. I’m sorry - I would be really upset.

My ex used to work with his cousin and uncle doing building work. They wouldn't be allowed to remove shrubs or plants as they don't have the right qualification. If a garden was damaged (although it shouldn't be that bad) they would reduce the price. I never heard of them removing the whole garden or damaging the garden so badly it needed to be totally removed

I hope you have retained some of the invoice value as I would not be paying it! Why on earth would he remove everything including the hrassand why on earth was there not a skip on site

Thanks so much, needed to hear that. Any advice or recommendations for plants?

Not with the right equipment. One man could do it in a morning with a big enough digger.

The shrubs were mature and huge! Not the trees.

Romanians... They worked on the house when we started the extension, digging up for the foundations. Spoke to them at the time as they could barely speak English, and they said they were from Romania.

Thank you for the empathy and advice, those who gave it.

Rest of you armchair investigators...honestly, I'm not in a space right now to be fending off accusations that I'm making this up. Wish it was a made up story.

When my garden was new, I sowed big swathes of Californian Poppies and Love-in-a-Mist. They were beautiful and filled a bed while other things got established. They also self-seeded. 9 years on I still get them popping up in odd places (not where I sowed them!) Verbena Bonariensis is another that self seeds readily and it won't smother other plants.

If replacing them yourself is the route you’re going down, it explains why the job took so long… you’re too easy to walk over. We had renovations done recently and it ended up running over deadline because they just wouldn’t turn up; they obviously had more lucrative work elsewhere. After the third no show, I made it clear what the deadline would be and that if they didn’t adhere to it, the job would be put on hold indefinitely. At this point, there were only minor snags left to do, but they wouldn’t get final payment until they were done. They didn’t stick to deadline. I refused to let them come for a few months and when they finally heard from me, they couldn’t get her quick enough. I didn’t let them treat my house like a drop-in centre.

I think it was a programme I heard on radio four this week that was talking about the rise in plant theft. People are having plants stolen from their gardens…. local community spaces are being dug up, etc. So, it may well be the case that your plants were dug up to be sold. If that’s the case, knowing how laid back you and your husband are, they’ll probably feign ignorance, you’ll end up apologising to them for even having mentioned it and you’ll move on.

That's terrible! He should not have done that.

Just to play devil's advocate, could the plants and flowers have died in the recent heatwaves? Were you able to get to them to water them?

I would not rely on AI for anything legal!

I’d be beyond devastated. Took me years to get my dad’s hollyhocks established, I took seeds last time I spoke to him in his garden. I’m moving next year and already have seeds to take with me.

The lawn should be relatively easy to re-lay with new turf. The only positive would be having a clean slate to re-establish, but I’d be gutted re the fruit tree taken from a cutting. I’m desperate to have a few fruit trees. You should definitely tell him (not ask!) that you’re taking a grand or more off the final bill, particularly with the insane overrun.

I think a straightforward question as to where your plants are is reasonable even under the circumstances with the stage 4 cancer

I would be absolutely devastated like you!!
Have they been dug out or chopped at ground level?

I think you need to talk to the builder about it. Ask why he removed all the well established plants and trees. No one normal would have done more than clear the rubbish surely?!