Nurse said something strange about breastfed babies

[Chocolateegg123]

My 8 week old had her jabs today. The nurse at my GP surgery was taking an awfully long time getting down to business and kept faffing around such as explaining how to use a syringe for the calpol for about ten minutes. Then, she asked me if I was breastfeeding and when I answered yes, she asked how it was going.

I was honest and explained I’d found it hard and we had to combi feed etc but that my mental health had been really awful whilst breastfeeding and so I have considered moving over to formula.

She then completely matter of factly stated… “breastfed babies are more intelligent so if you can continue feeding her your milk you should.”

I was kind of taken a back as I didn’t think this was true but also is this kind of advice ok for a health professional to give? Whenever I have gone to a local breastfeeding clinic or spoken to a professional about my struggles they have never ever said anything like this?

I guess I want to know if I would be unreasonable to complain about this nurse? She has been unprofessional in the past when I went to have a vaccine during pregnancy and now this. However - is it true that breastfed babies are more intelligent? This has added to my guilt and anxiety over my breastfeeding journey now. Help!

I’m so sick of this shit. My DD was 100% bottle fed and graduated from college with honors.

I have a friend who has the DCs who were all breast fed, none of finished school and two can’t hold down a job.

But all of them-breast and bottle fed - are very physically healthy adults.

I agree about this…I don’t know anyone who did this IRL and I’ve never seen it out and about either.

But once the babies can hold the bottles themselves - maybe 6-7 months+ it’s normal for them to do this isn’t it? My kids were holding their own water cups at that age.

Mine never fed themselves a bottle. I always did it because the closeness was important to me. I loved feeding them.

A cup of water in their high chair is an entirely different thing.

@Cinaferna

"Exactly. If they compared the development of children from the same socio economic background, breast or bottle fed, they would probably find no difference."

Some of the differences are explained by socioeconomic background being a confounder, but not all.

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1361236/

This report looking at sibling studies, which controls for social background found few long term benefits to breastfeeding and found "The notable exception is a persistent positive correlation between breastfeeding and cognitive ability."

@DirtyBird

None of the research suggests that a child who is not breastfeed can't be intelligent, nor that breastfed babies are all more intelligent than babies who aren't breastfed.

Hope that helps.

While perserving with BF my DD is something I consider a point of pride (not in the sense that I go on about it to people in real life because I don't - but just personally I am proud of it because we had a lot of set backs!) I can assure you she is no more intelligent than her peers 😂 she tried to eat an old shrivelled rice crispy off the floor this morning, she is no more or less intelligent than any other 2yo at her nursery lol

I volunteer as a BF peer supporter and the most important thing is giving mums support to achieve what their personal BFing goals are, whether that's never, 1 day, 1 week or 3 years. It is sad if a new mum isn't supported to BF if that's what she wants to do (and also equally sad if a mum is pressured for whatever reason to BF when she doesn't want to!)

2 of my 3 were breastfed. The 1 who wasn't is the most intelligent.
What a weird thing to say even if it may be true. You'd think nurses would be more concerned about the health benefits. Or just being compassionate and recognising a mums doing her best.

These professionals don't really see the damage, or the long term impact of their words.

They have no idea how a comment like this can send an already struggling new mum into an absolute spiral of shame.

I personally triple fed (yep, nine months of pumping every few hours, then giving the breast for 20m each side, then a bottle of breast, then topping up with formula, then washing/sanitising everything and repeating every three hours) for nine months on extremely strong drugs (domperidone) for supply because I just couldn't forgive myself for starving my sweet baby and my body failing him so completely.

If just a single professional had said early on, even during pregnancy, 'whether your baby has formula or breast milk, with your love they will thrive and in the long run it won't matter one bit how you fed them, fed is best, loved is best' I genuinely believe I might have saved myself some of my sanity.

It's impossible when everyone around you is telling you constantly that breast is best, formula is inferior, so if you love your baby you must keep trying to breastfeed at all costs because it's by far the most important decision you'll ever make for them and surely if you love them you'll do it? Even when your body simply can't. It truly messes with you. I ended up sadly with PTSD.

She was talking bullshit. Honestly,these medical professionals will say ANYTHING to try and get mothers to persevere with breastfeeding.

She wasn't 'talking bullshit' - there's a lot of research pointing to breastfeeding having a positive impact on brain development and on cognitive skills. However, raising this issue with a mother who is struggling with breastfeeding is tone deaf and actually quite unkind.

Just repeating more loudly for the people at the back: there's no research that suggests that breastfed children are intelligent and formula fed children are not. None.

As the OP had said at the appointment that she was thinking of moving onto using formula, why didn’t the nurse provide practical guidance about the safest way to do this - practical positive help rather than negative information?

A couple of nurses and health care assistants said some awful things. I wish I had complained but it would have been ‘she said / she said’ and I had other priorities at the time.

In the ward with DC1 in the early hours after a night, unplanned C section, DC1 screaming lots, was struggling to feed or calm DC1, was desperate. soothed with my little finger in DC1 mouth. Health care assistant said ‘if you do that you’ll never be able to breast feed’.

In the maternity assessment unit waiting area (waters had broken with DC2 around 35 weeks) I was sat with crossed legs. A nurse said ‘don’t sit like that, you’ll get a deep vein thrombosis and could die’.

OP didn’t ask her for help with that though - she’d just brought her baby in for jabs I think?

It sounded like a misplaced attempt at encouragement to me. I remember feeling very sensitive about comments when my babies were small - eg when they cried out and about and people would say “are they hungry” - which I took as a suggestion that I wasn’t feeding them.

People get really het up about feeding in the early days but most can put it behind them/gain some perspective as their kids grow.

No it is definitely NOT true, but this used to be trotted out regularly by breastfeeding nazis, here and elsewhere. Correlation is very much NOT causation in this case.

I remember pointing out that the reason some women had time to breastfeed was they were wealthier and had more time to sit around interacting with their kids, and women who are wealthy enough to stay home and breastfeed also generally have tons of time to sit and play with their kids, stimulate them, take them to classes and get them tutors and etc, this would seem to indicate that breastfeeding = higher IQ could be safely debunked as having confounding variables.

Turns out, I was right.

“Gibbs and Forste found that reading to an infant every day as early as age 9 months and sensitivity to the child's cues during social interactions, rather than breastfeeding...were significant predictors of reading readiness at age 4 years,”

She is going by ancient, debunked history. I'd say you should send her links to the proper studies, but breast feeding nazis never listen anyway.

Oh and yeah, I breastfed both of mine, before any of the nazis start in on me. I just know there's a lot more to parenting than being a smug cow who thinks they're better than those who don't have the luxury of wealth and time.

https://news.byu.edu/news/study-shows-why-breastfed-babies-are-so-smart

"In reality, the causal link is much more tenuous. We can see this by looking carefully at a number of studies that compare children who were breastfed to their siblings who were not. These studies tend to find no relationship between breastfeeding and IQ. The children who were nursed did no better on IQ tests than their siblings who were not." from sciencefriday.com /articles/ does-breastfeeding-affect-intelligence/

There's tons of those articles out there, but unfortunately once an unproven idea is embraced by bigots it is hard to shake.

comments like this are a form of manipulation and blackmail. Ignore her and complain.

@ohnotthisagain2025

First off - why are you name calling breastfeeding advocates by the worst name anyone could ever call another human being? WTF is wrong with you?

Second of all, it's not 'ancient debunked theory' - there's a load of recent research, including the MRI studies from Brown University I linked to earlier in this thread, that point to differences in brain and cognitive development according to feeding method. There is evidence including sibling studies, that controls for economic and educational background. Yes, the evidence is mixed, and it's complex. What there isn't is the certainty that you suggest, that infant feeding has zero impact on cognition and brain development.

In fact you own quote doesn't indicate that the theory that breastfeeding impacts on brain development is 'rubbish' and 'completely debunked' in the phrase "In reality, the causal link is much more tenuous."

Why would you misrepresent the literature on this issue? To win a popularity contest on mumsnet? 'I breastfed myself and I hate breastfeeding advocacy, plus breastfeeding makes no difference' basically. That's covering all the bases.

You've taken an unkind and tone deaf comment made by an HCP to a new mum who's struggling, and spun it into a hateful rant about anyone who supports breastfeeding who doesn't share your views on what the scientific literature says about the benefits of breastfeeding. Gross. Wind your neck in.

@ohnotthisagain2025 as I think your post acknowledges, there is academic research which suggests there is a link, even if it is “tenuous” or its effects are limited.

It sounds like the HCP in this case may not have been aware of the nuances of the research around this. But equally, numerous posters on this thread, who have made comments like “my child is so smart and was formula fed so this must be wrong”, have also revealed a fundamental lack of understanding of the point - so it’s obviously not straightforward for the average person to get their head around.

Quite unnecessary to call people nazis or bigots in this context.

My DH‘s family were murdered in the holocaust so I do find it offensive - is this what you mean by offending the “right” people?

It’s certainly an effective expression for demonstrating the kind of person you are.

@ohnotthisagain2025

You genuinely don't believe that anyone has a moral right not to share your opinion about the evidence on the benefits of breastfeeding.

And you have the temerity to to refer to these people as 'nazis', and to feel smug them being offended by being referred to as a mass murderer.

Again - gross.

At the appointment the OP expressed concern about breast feeding and that she was thinking of moving onto formula. So information about the best way to do so isn’t unreasonable.

Right, but it’s a bit of a leap?

If I went for my smear test and mentioned I was thinking of going vegan I wouldn’t expect the nurse doing my smear to proactively offer me info about how to make sure I keep my B12 levels up, without me asking for help or advice on it. Sadly the NHS is pretty stretched.

@Parker231 I think we both agree it was an ill-advised comment from this nurse but there’s no need to extrapolate beyond that. It’s great that you are pleased with your own choices and feeding journey.

Well, it hasn’t been “debunked” — you’re wrong. Many of the more recent studies have more sophisticated controls and still show an effect on cognition from breastfeeding — increasingly in the newer studies in fact, particularly the ones using MRI scans to measure the percentage of different types of brain matter.

Try reading a range of different actual studies rather than one news article, perhaps?

Nope, I'm right, it has. And I provided links, but you already know this.

I knew pointing out the breast feeding nazis got it completely wrong would upset the breast feeding nazis - job done :)😎