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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nurse said something strange about breastfed babies

308 replies

Chocolateegg123 · 23/07/2025 19:14

My 8 week old had her jabs today. The nurse at my GP surgery was taking an awfully long time getting down to business and kept faffing around such as explaining how to use a syringe for the calpol for about ten minutes. Then, she asked me if I was breastfeeding and when I answered yes, she asked how it was going.

I was honest and explained I’d found it hard and we had to combi feed etc but that my mental health had been really awful whilst breastfeeding and so I have considered moving over to formula.

She then completely matter of factly stated… “breastfed babies are more intelligent so if you can continue feeding her your milk you should.”

I was kind of taken a back as I didn’t think this was true but also is this kind of advice ok for a health professional to give? Whenever I have gone to a local breastfeeding clinic or spoken to a professional about my struggles they have never ever said anything like this?

I guess I want to know if I would be unreasonable to complain about this nurse? She has been unprofessional in the past when I went to have a vaccine during pregnancy and now this. However - is it true that breastfed babies are more intelligent? This has added to my guilt and anxiety over my breastfeeding journey now. Help!

OP posts:
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bumblecoach · 24/07/2025 11:11

Parker231 · 24/07/2025 10:59

Why wouldn’t a baby thrive on formula - the majority of the population do? A baby on formula with a happy mother will do better than a baby bf with a mother struggling with her mental health.

What do you mean “your version of health and mine are different too”

Formula is an ultra processed food. If that’s what you want to give your baby good luck to you

Parker231 · 24/07/2025 11:14

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 24/07/2025 09:18

I think breastfed babies tend to get better gcses.
But this is probably due to the families being better resources and supported and confident and educated in general.

I pumped for 6 months due to all this breast is best messages and I did miss out on a lot of fun as I was chained to home!

Do you have any evidence regarding the GCSE results. My DC’s weren’t asked when they did their exams as to how they were fed !

Parker231 · 24/07/2025 11:17

bumblecoach · 24/07/2025 11:11

Formula is an ultra processed food. If that’s what you want to give your baby good luck to you

My DC’s were solely fed on formula as babies. Now very healthy young adults without any allergies or health issues and both got 1st in their degrees so doesn’t seem to have impacted their intelligence

bumblecoach · 24/07/2025 11:27

Parker231 · 24/07/2025 11:17

My DC’s were solely fed on formula as babies. Now very healthy young adults without any allergies or health issues and both got 1st in their degrees so doesn’t seem to have impacted their intelligence

Depends what the degrees is in, doesn’t it?
don’t think we’ve been able to rely on those as a Measure for quite some time

Parker231 · 24/07/2025 11:49

bumblecoach · 24/07/2025 11:27

Depends what the degrees is in, doesn’t it?
don’t think we’ve been able to rely on those as a Measure for quite some time

You don’t think that all A’s at GCSE and A levels, 1st in their degrees from RG Unis (Engineering and MFL), post grad qualifications and being trilingual are a good sign of high intellect?

HostaCentral · 24/07/2025 12:36

bumblecoach · 24/07/2025 11:11

Formula is an ultra processed food. If that’s what you want to give your baby good luck to you

No it isn't. It's akin to a regulated medicine. Do you give your kids vitamins??

Teaforthetotal · 24/07/2025 13:30

Wheresthebuttons · 24/07/2025 00:26

In which case she'll almost certainly breastfeed any children she has, and wonder why her own mother didn't.

I only have a 2.1 but it's enough of an education for me to realise that health researchers universally recommend breast feeding.

Do you think it's because they're on the payroll of breast pump manufactuters?

Some people cannot breastfeed due to various factors.

SylvanianFamiliesBalcony · 24/07/2025 13:31

'Ultra processed' doesn't actually say anything about the nutritional quality or content of a food. Formula has to be ultra processed to ensure it contains all of the necessary nutrients for a growing baby.

Drinking raw milk straight from the udder of a cow isn't ultra-processed yet it's incredibly dangerous.

Just more scare tactics to push the breast is best ideology.

Formula is a lifesaving invention and I guarantee, anyone whose baby needed it would quickly change their tune to being extremely grateful.

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 24/07/2025 14:11

I respect the nursing profession enormously, but there are some people in it who are not very bright.

Op1n1onsPlease · 24/07/2025 14:20

Havent read the full thread but I’m sure point has been made plenty of times that studies have shown that breastfed babies have, on average, higher IQs and better school performance (which are different) than FF babies.

But mothers are more likely to breastfeed (i) the more education they have had themselves (ie degree vs school) and (ii) if middle class vs working class. So it’s much more likely that the better iqs and school results come from having better educated and wealthy mothers, than anything to do with the breastfeeding whatsoever.

The nuances of all of that were obviously lost on that nurse.

It’s interesting that more highly educated women are likely to breastfeed and would be worth drilling down into that. It might be that eg those women have access to longer maternity leaves and so more opportunity to do it, whereas women in more working class occupations might need to go back to work sooner and be able to leave their baby with someone else. It’s not as simplistic as smart people breastfeed either.

Littlemisscapable · 24/07/2025 14:39

bumblecoach · 24/07/2025 11:11

Formula is an ultra processed food. If that’s what you want to give your baby good luck to you

Nonsense.

HostaCentral · 24/07/2025 16:35

The studies alluded to have to be seen in context. As others have said, IQ is more to do with parental IQ and developmental support.

Even when this has been accounted for, the difference is 2-3 points on an average an IQ of 100, AND only when breastfeeding is extended beyond 6 months. So pretty much no-one then.

DinosandRegrets678 · 24/07/2025 17:11

@Chocolateegg123 just wanted to say though that breastfeeding does get infinitely easier after 3 months. I felt like you around the 8-12 week mark and even posted on here several times. I was suicidal and drowning in sleep deprivation. Everyone on MN told me to give up BF. I didn't and asked my DH for more support day to day. He took a few days off work, made sure he came home early from work after that etc. And I am now still breastfeeding at 11 months.

Breastfeeding itself was not the issue. Wider support was. After 6 months especially, with the absolute faff of weaning, I was grateful I didn't listen to MN (the default on this forum is that BF is evil and hard work and pointless and the root of ALL problems with a baby) as at least I didn't also have to make bottles. It also really helps with teething and illnesses.

readingismycardio · 24/07/2025 17:21

I was under the impression that me having 2 degrees, speaking 5 languages and making quite a lot of money would class me as intelligent, but I was only breastfed for a month…

UnbotheredQueen · 24/07/2025 17:34

@bumblecoachI was formula fed. I have two humanities degrees, a PhD in one of those subjects, and a BSc. My daughter was formula fed as I couldn’t breastfeed. Am I sufficiently educated for you?

ButteredRadish · 24/07/2025 18:29

Absolute nonsense! If anything, it’s worse to breastfeed as breastfed babies need Vitamin D supplements due to most mothers being Vitamin D deficient (as almost all adults in the UK are, so that’s not surprising). Breast milk can also be deficient in quite a bit, depending on what the mother is deficient in. However formula is nutritionally complete. This is one reason why formula fed babies often sleep better (not always the case, obviously).
Please, please put a complaint in. She’s spreading harmful misinformation and in doing so, is shaming mums who can’t breastfeed. She needs to be stopped.

ButteredRadish · 24/07/2025 18:31

@bumblecoachBreastmilk is deficient in vitamin d and whatever else the mother is deficient in depending on her diet. Formula is nutritionally complete. That’s a fact.
It is NOT an ‘Ultra processed food’ at all. You need to stop getting your info from TikTok love

ButteredRadish · 24/07/2025 18:36

Bowlandbillow · 24/07/2025 08:40

There are plenty of academically reviewed studies that show breast fed fed babies have the optimal physical conditions in the brain for positive development.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6230484/

🤣 Absolute nonsense!

SylvanianFamiliesBalcony · 24/07/2025 18:37

Exactly @HostaCentral

I also find it interesting nobody talks as much about the benefits of formula, which very much exist. Being able to share feeds, and get more rest. Knowing how much your baby is drinking (avoiding rehospitalisation for failure to thrive), baby not needing vitamin D drops, guaranteed to be able to give them enough calories. And for many mums, better mental health. More info below though on the idea that breastfeeding has longterm benefits for babies (clue, it doesn't!)

When looking at the WHO recommendations, it's important to remember that they are thinking about public health policy for the entire world. Access to clean water changes everything, and in the developed world the benefits of breastfeeding are marginal at best.

‘Breast is best’ is pretty much woo (except for premature babies.) The difference in outcomes for breastfeeding versus formula feeding is trivial to nonexistent once you control for socioeconomic status - the reality is that wealthier and more privileged families are more likely to breastfeed.

Sibling study used to control for socioeconomic status:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4077166/

The real benefits to breastfeeding are a slightly decreased risk of GI illnesses, respiratory illnesses, and a slightly decreased risk of cancer (for the mom, not the baby). But that doesn't make breastfeeding the right choice for everyone, and it doesn't make breastfeeding vastly superior to formula in the way that many say it is.

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/

On a population level, when you look at hundreds of thousands of babies, breast milk results in fewer upper respiratory infections and fewer gastrointestinal infections. So, yes, health authorities promote breastfeeding and formula companies are legally responsible for writing "breast milk is better" on their can. In theory, if hundreds of thousands of mothers BF instead of FF that's millions of dollars in saved health care costs. (But note that these proposed health care savings have only ever been modeled and never validated in the real world. Meaning they probably don't happen.)

But on an individual baby level, there's really no appreciable differences (see the sibling study and the probit study).

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2006/03/tales_from_the_nursery.html

https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/questioning-the-evidence-for-breastfeeding/

https://expectingscience.com/2015/11/02/breastfeeding-benefits-the-real-the-imagined-and-the-exaggerated/

This is a very long report. You would need to read the whole thing including the issues with the studies used: https://archive.ahrq.gov/downloads/pub/evidence/pdf/brfout/brfout.pdf

And also, these benefits (slight reduction in infections on a population level) are strictly short term. None of the claims about long term impacts of breastfeeding are supported by evidence. There are no proven links between breastfeeding and IQ, obesity, behavior problems, parental attachment, food allergies, ADHD, or any other of the long-term health indicators often put forward as reasons for referring to breast milk as “liquid gold.” Sibling studies have produced “results suggest[ing] that much of the beneficial long-term effects typically attributed to breastfeeding, per se, may primarily be due to selection pressures into infant feeding practices along key demographic characteristics such as race and socioeconomic status.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24698713

At a year old, there is precisely zero difference between a breastfed child and a formula fed child. Breastfeeding is not going to set your child up for a lifetime of success, and formula feeding does not create lifelong issues.

It's also important to keep in mind that infant feeding is not just about which liquid your baby is ingesting (breastmilk or formula). There are also lifestyle impacts that vastly outweigh any factors about the milk itself.

Everybody Calm Down About Breastfeeding

In the run-up to my son’s birth a couple of months ago, I spent a lot of time sitting in my midwife’s office staring aimlessly at the posters on the wall. My fa…

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/

SylvanianFamiliesBalcony · 24/07/2025 18:40

ButteredRadish · 24/07/2025 18:29

Absolute nonsense! If anything, it’s worse to breastfeed as breastfed babies need Vitamin D supplements due to most mothers being Vitamin D deficient (as almost all adults in the UK are, so that’s not surprising). Breast milk can also be deficient in quite a bit, depending on what the mother is deficient in. However formula is nutritionally complete. This is one reason why formula fed babies often sleep better (not always the case, obviously).
Please, please put a complaint in. She’s spreading harmful misinformation and in doing so, is shaming mums who can’t breastfeed. She needs to be stopped.

I wouldn't go as far as to say bf is worse overall, but it's def worse in many cases. It's great knowing that your baby isn't deficient in anything and is getting enough nutrition. So many babies starve at the breast due to insufficient supply, some estimates suggest up to 15% of new mothers experience this.

I think the whole point really is that there is no universal best when it comes to feeding your baby, it all comes out in the wash by 1yr as long as they've had sufficient calories of either formula or breast milk. For some, breastfeeding is best for them and works. For others, formula is. Others, combo feeding. Others, exclusively pumping. I long for a day where medical professionals ask 'how are you hoping/planning to feed your baby? and give tailored advice to support parents in achieving that if safe to do so. I found it interesting that barely anyone mentioned how to safely make up formula even though it's quite difficult to get used to doing! But lots and lots of focus on breastfeeding, the latch, positioning and so forth.

Women deserve better than being guilted into forcing breastfeeding when it isn't working or safe, or guilted into formula feeding when they wish to bf and are able to do so.

Op1n1onsPlease · 24/07/2025 19:07

readingismycardio · 24/07/2025 17:21

I was under the impression that me having 2 degrees, speaking 5 languages and making quite a lot of money would class me as intelligent, but I was only breastfed for a month…

Just think what you could have done if you HAD been bf - perhaps won a Nobel prize?

readingismycardio · 24/07/2025 19:08

Op1n1onsPlease · 24/07/2025 19:07

Just think what you could have done if you HAD been bf - perhaps won a Nobel prize?

I know, right? Hahahaha. Well, I’ll have to settle, with not being breastfed and everything… I’m clearly inferior 😂

Aimtodobetter · 24/07/2025 19:16

Any link at a “population level” is (a) so insignificant to not matter for your child on an individual level and (b) definitely not demonstrated to be linked causally. Also, a friend who is a doctor but couldn’t breastfeed long went down the rabbit hole on the research (and she’s crazy smart) and said when she took apart the statistics on the studies most the benefits of breastfeeding accrue in the first bit where you give then the colostrum to kick start their immune system anyway. For the record - I managed to mostly /almost exclusively BF with a lot of hard work for the first 3-4 months for each baby and then gave it up to suit my personal priorities and don’t regret it a bit. I agree with the poster who said you should worry more about the stuff the kids eat in the next 10 years….

ChilliMead · 24/07/2025 19:31

Statistically from the small studies conducted, even allowing for confounders, it’s true. Although not conclusive. A study was published in The Lancet about 10 years ago. I believe it was done in Brazil. Google it. Doesn’t mean those FF will be thicko or vv but if it is extrapolated at population level, then yes, breastfed babies are more intelligent.

Parker231 · 24/07/2025 19:39

ChilliMead · 24/07/2025 19:31

Statistically from the small studies conducted, even allowing for confounders, it’s true. Although not conclusive. A study was published in The Lancet about 10 years ago. I believe it was done in Brazil. Google it. Doesn’t mean those FF will be thicko or vv but if it is extrapolated at population level, then yes, breastfed babies are more intelligent.

i wonder how they get the data - ask students when they leave school, how many A’s did you get and how were you fed as a baby 🤣