Maintenance Payments Ending

[Hula0565890]

The spousal and child maintenance payments between me and my ex are due to end in September as per the court order. From Oct all costs of our kids will then be shared evenly between us.

My ex earns at least 3 times the amount I currently do. AIBU to ask if they will be willing to split the costs more than 50/50 in light of this, appreciating this cannot be enforced?

Are they moving out for uni?

Are they getting loans?

When mine went to university, they got full loans because I had a low income. Their dad gave them some money directly- more like pocket money, but still helped.

Well thats nonsense.
children should not be living the life of a millionaire half the time with their one parent and then on bread and water with the second.

Longterm, you think the a higher earning parent has to make the other parent’s household income equal? Thankfully the courts do not agree with this these days. That’s why homes are sold, proceeds split and spousal is minimal. Both parents should be maximising their own earnings.

I think until the children are no longer financially reliant on the parents it’s entirely reasonable yes.
And the court to do often agree with that stance.
Most people don’t pursue it though, but they should

I was responding to @Praying4Peace who stated that OP was "still entitled to 50pc", which she is not, due to DC leaving education and moving to HE.

I think that's what a clean break is all about? If you want to benefit from your partners high earnings, don't divorce him. It would be very difficult to achieve parity across households, post-split, when people get new partners etc. And don't forget the finances of the pre-split household have to fund 2 homes.

Clean brakes were introduced on the basis that the child maintenance service would be effective and frankly it isn’t
But equally I strongly suspect the OP like many of us did not bring children into the world expecting that they would just fuck them off financially when they hit 18. Nor that the cost of university would escalate at the rate it has
The system is flawed

Are they going to uni in September and none of the 4 of you have raised how this will be funded?

They are only assessed on RP income, so DF earning "three times as much" doesn't come in to it.

Doesn't it also depend on what "three times as much" actually is? If OP works p/t on £15k and exDH earns £45k, paying 50/50+spousal maintenance and OP retained the family home, when exactly does exDH have a chance to be allowed to buy a house or have some cash? OTOH if she's earning £50k and he's on £150k, he can probably pay some direct to DC, as can OP.

If you could afford it, why not just take on the mortgage and keep the house?

Maybe phrase it more like 'I am wondering how much you can contribute to the twins' living expenses etc next year, so I know how much I need to budget'.

Is it healthy to encourage young adults to have a contact schedule?

It's really shocking. Ppl like that need a reality check about what responsibility means. It's one thing if you are an unemployed struggling person through no fault of your own.....but a person with money not paying and expecting the rest of us to pick up the bill....that's wrong.

I thought if they are in Uni then maintenance still goes but it can be paid to them directly.

Just read I am wrong :/

how is that even possible?

YABU. Zero chance he will give extra because you ask. Frankly, I would assume he resents giving you any spousal support given you have a job and an income of your own.

Of course, the children (who are now adults) can ask him for extra help, and he might consider it, but only in the knowledge that you are contributing your fair share.

Because they are adults and get jobs and loans

They need to get a job !

Because he refused to agree to it. So I then soent my 10% deposit on a lawyer fighting in court.
I was then proving to be correct. He did not do what he claimed he needed to do in court, to yhis day he hasn’t.
And I have bought a house of equal value but incurred stamp duty, removal costs etc. I wish there was an option to go back to court and say told you so

Twins are now adults. Both of my DC got various loans and held down jobs while at university, as many students have to do now. One of my DC will pay off their loans in next few years but other DC reckons they’ll never pay theirs off. They see it as a ‘student-tax’ (Thanks Martin Lewis)
If you and ex are going to support them financially, yes you should share. Not your exes fault he earns more than you.

What like all the other kids with parents earning over £165,000 🤣🤣🤣

If he earns 45k there is no way he would be ordered to pay spousal.

Are you in the uk? Are your children under 18 or under 21 and still in education?

depending on where you are from is dependent on the advice given.

child maintenance doesn’t stop unless they’re 18 or if they turn 21 and are in education…… regardless of your court order. Maintenance should still be paid according to the child maintenance rules. This is only for the UK though.

Why can’t they get part time jobs?