Graduating as an adult - AIBU?

[FrenchFancie]

I’m due to graduate (postgraduate level) next week. I went back to uni to re-train into a new career, it’s been a long and difficult year and at times I’ve genuinely thought I couldn’t do it. There have been tears lol!

Despite everything, I’ve managed it and will graduate next Tuesday. I’m really excited but (aside from DH) no-one else seems to be! Teenagers won’t come to the ceremony as they are both at a sports camp for a sport they play competitively. I’m disappointed but understand that that’s their priority. I asked my parents to come - DM said it’s too far to drive (about a 45 minute drive) and DF said he didn’t want to come. My uni does a live stream, so I shared the link yesterday. DM replied saying she might watch but her friend is also due to lunch that day (it’s a lunchtime ceremony). DF said he’s playing bridge so won’t watch. Because of the way the uni has set things up, the livestream can’t be played back afterwards, so they can’t watch later, which I told them about weeks ago.

my siblings haven’t replied to the email, so I assume not interested. One works so again, probably can’t watch, the other is a SAHM to primary aged kids.

I get that everyone is busy, and maybe watching a mid 40s woman graduate isn’t as exciting as watching the younger kids from my course do it.

My husband will be there for me on the day, so I won’t be totally alone. I just feel like (aside from DH) no one cares about my graduation. I mentioned to DF that I was getting the photography package so I would give him a proper photo and he asked why he’d want one?

AIBU to wish people in my family were a bit more bothered? It’s been a really tough year, Uni’s are not set up to help people with families and other commitments and I’ve really struggled at times.

I am perfectly prepared to be told that I need to get over myself, by the way! Just because something is important to me, I get that others don’t think the same thing. I just wonder if others would feel like me or if I’m being unreasonable to feel a bit sad.

YABU - get over yourself - you’re a woman in your 40s
YANBU - I would be a bit sad too.

Yep, I regularly talked about it and gave updates on my progress. I often tried to discuss how challenging it was with a young child but that went over his head as he never once offered any sort of childcare. But then again, it was only last week he realised I worked full time and didn’t get the holidays off (I’m an academic).
My mums no longer alive so you would have thought he’d would have wanted to make an extra effort🤷🏼‍♀️
Although, having my in laws there was lovely as they were the ones that actually supported me alongside my DH.

I’ve often wondered whether my dad was bothered when he saw the pictures on facebook of me standing with my FIL and not him.

Well, PhDs ARE a bigger deal than even UG degrees. PhDs are far rarer than undergraduate degrees, and are at a higher level. It's nothing to do with being an adult or not.

Personally I just don't think most 1 year post grad courses are a massive deal these days, and if you've just been to the UG degree ceremony only the previous year then it's a bit much really to expect a whole fuss so soon?. Maybe if someone has gone back to do it later, part time around a job and also a young family and it will bring with it a career change then yes, it's a bigger deal than done straight after a UG degree and not even started in employment yet.

My teens would definitely have been cheering me on. That is sad. Well done OP!

I graduated as an adult and could only take two people so I took my mum and dad. It was lovely. Congratulations OP, they are a mean lot and should be celebrating you.

Except in the OPs case this isn’t just one year after an Undergraduate degree.
I teach on a one year postgrad course that attracts a lots of career changers and mature students. Graduation often means so much to them. It’s a shame that people try to minimise someone’s achievements and accomplishments.

Don't think anyone is minimising their achievements. Just the ceremony. Which IS boring, long and pointless a lot of people. Doesn't mean they wouldn't celebrate another way.

That does sound a bit rubbish of them all (especially the comments from your DF - charming), but don't let it put a damper on your achievement. Plan to have a lovely graduation day with your DH and feel really proud of yourself.

I would have gone for my mum or dad, and for my adult children.

It amazes me how many people can't be bothered to do something they perceive to be 'long and boring ' and won't put themselves out in any way for other people, however close and however much it matters to them. What a selfish generation of young adults we seem to have now.

Sorry, pretty selfish older adults too from the OPs post.

I would agree that degree ceremonies are very long and boring - the only bit anybody’s really interested in is the brief moment when their relative goes up to shake hands and receive their ‘fake’ rolled up certificate.

TBH I couldn’t be bothered to attend the ceremony for the OU degree attained in my early 50s, but I can understand the OP’s disappointment, since it means a lot to her.