Would you report a friend for benefit fraud?

[Acompletelyrandomname]

The scenario:

Your child is friends with their child, that's how you know them. You're friendly and see them for play dates but you're not especially close to them as a person.

They split up with their DH after years of infidelity and the DH moved out.

She is now claiming benefits as a single parent a year on but you suspect the xDH might be living there again.

Considerations:

I think she would qualify as being a disabled person based on health problems. They also have a disabled child.

Would you report this woman?

YABU - No
YANBU - Yes

I've name changed.

No, just because it's none of your business. You are not the stasi

No, based on her child being disabled.

And tbh I wouldn’t snitch anyway lol

I’m thinking you have to much time on your hands

No. In any case all you have is suspicion. Why did you feel you had to name change?

It's very common for couples to fraudulently claim UC/hb as though they have separated. In general I would report it because fraud undermines provision for the genuinely needy.

Absolutely not especially not based on a suspicion you may have. I couldn't cope with the guilt.

Here we go another benefit bashing thread about a 'friend'...

Mind your own business.

You know nothing about her financial situation, her private life or her health issues so keep your 'suspicions' to yourself.

You don’t even seem to know if her exDH is living there again.

If she had outright told you he doesn't live there and said some things that would appear to confirm that, but then their DC said things that contradict mums version and then outright says he lives there.. would that influence your positions at all?

I know he's there a lot and the DC said themselves that he is.

I’m a single parent and tbh people talking to my 7 year old might think my exh still lives here! My 7 year old still draws pictures of all of us together and often talks about “mummy and daddy at home”, my exh comes over 1 night a week to see the kids so his car is here regularly. YABU

No, I think I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than spend so much time thinking about someone else's business.

Let alone be thinking about it at midnight and talking to strangers about it.

Do you have any knitting needles and wool?

Perhaps you could do something more useful with your time.

That’s normal in a good co parenting relationship. Doesn’t mean he lives there

So? He’s their father. Maybe they are slowly patching things up. This is absolutely none of your business whatsoever. And you don’t know the details.

@Acompletelyrandomname no..why do you seem intent on making this woman's problems worse? She's been cheated on in an unhappy and quite possibly abusive relationship for years, has a disabled child and is disabled herself. Why would you want her to suffer?

No.

No I wouldn’t - I’m not a grass. Secondly someone once threatened to report my friend for benefit fraud and yet she wasn’t even claiming, what you think you know isn’t fact so I’d butt out.

No because the kids could be mistaken you sound like you dislike your friend perhaps step away from your friendship because you would literally be stealing food from a disabled child's mouth they dont let you claim while they look into it they stop your money then take forever demanding "evidence" that most people dont have to hand

You need several bills in your name at a different address if they moved in with their parents they won't have that

A council tax bill if they have moved in with family temporary they might not have put them on especially if they were paying full wack anyway

Driving licence with updated address seriously who changes those for a temporary address

Even then it could take months to resolve

All because you want to be righteous

Let it go and let her be. You also need to back off and see her less as clearly you're too judgemental and could get her into a big dilemma over your accusations. Remember she's got health issues as well as looking after a disabled child....give her a break

No I wouldn’t, it’s only the kids that will suffer.

You don’t know for sure what’s going on. YWBVU to wade in here. Leave it well alone.

Have you eaten food at her table?
Probably be wary of betraying her then.
Best to give out goodness, not petty, cruel, vengence into the world

No! Don’t be such a horrible person!

This. And there’s one thing worse than benefit fraud and that’s living in a surveillance state with friends and neighbours reporting on each other (which we are currently sleep walking into, many people with open arms, but that’s for another thread!).

But also you don’t even know there’s any fraud occurring. Do you know what a benefits investigation involves? It upends the lives of claimants. Benefits are usually stopped or reduced during investigations and it can take months and months. Claimants usually have to use food banks to survive, while having the stress of attending, often multiple, interrogations interviews. It’s stressful and horrible and affects the whole family. Why would you want to inflict that on someone you regard as a friend on the basis of a hunch ?!?