To ask if you believe you’ve lived a luckier life than most?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

Whether it’s down to circumstances, timing, support, or sheer chance - do you ever stop and think, “I’ve had it easier than others?” Or do you believe we mostly make our own luck?

I’m happy with my lot but I’ve got a huge chip on my shoulder about having no parental support in life and resentment towards but families and their supportive networks.

These threads always devolve into the Four Yorkshiremen sketch eventually.

Hugely lucky, yes. Obviously I've worked damn hard for a long time and taken risks others didn't which have helped (you do make some of your own luck) but that wouldn't have been enough on its own.

That's very cruel for people have not had good parents ,to read.

You are not grasping what I am saying!

That those words hurt others.

When you write "your parents define your luck. If you get a good start in life nothing can compare"

It makes people who had bad parents, and who had a bad start in life, feel even worse.

I don't think so at all.

I think it's factual.

Those of us whose parents left something to be desired generally strive not to fuck up our kids in the same way.

And some people who feel they were blessed with good parents cannot see how minutely they were controlled and groomed to be submissive by really domineering, awful parents.

Aww I am sorry that you had that. I send you a hug.

This, I think I am lucky to have been born in the UK , with the rights and access to education and health care it gives me.

She wrote "if you get a good start in life, nothing can compare."

That IS cruelly written.

So all of us who didnt get a good start in life are totally fucked then?

Have you lived anywhere else?

I have lived in other countries, and I think that the U.K. is behind other countries in lots of ways.

I had a horrible really horrible childhood and dealt with this by rebelling in my 20’s and getting into all sorts of debt and sleeping on friends floors etc. but I sorted myself out and now at the age of 52 I live a lovely simple calm life, just me and my dog in my apartment, the first home I bought this year. Never been happier so yes I am lucky and grateful for every day considering my initial start in this world.

I agree it is better elsewhere but if people feel lucky and the thought of how good their life is helps them cope with the day to day, why does it bother you?

If they start telling other people elsewhere the UK is better than their country then it is time for that discussion

I understand this feeling and sorry you had an abusive childhood.
I think the way to look could be that actually someone like me who had a normal childhood should recognise how lucky we were and see that this has given us a massive advantage over those that didn't.
I have so much respect for my friends who I know had a terrible childhood and have managed to make a decent life for themselves despite their parents.

I have had some bad luck (mainly disability and bipolar)but recognise because I had a steady upbringing I was more able to tackle these.

I think the way to look could be that actually someone like me who had a normal childhood should recognise how lucky we were and see that this has given us a massive advantage over those that didn't.

Careful, this is basically what PP have been saying, but apparently being aware of and acknowledging one's privilege and the fact that there are others less fortunate is distasteful and cruel 🤷‍♀️

Its the word "lucky" that I think sounds nasty.

The example that I gave:

If i go up to a homeless person and say :

"I am lucky that I have never been homeless like you"

Do you think that he would like what I said?

How is the poster that wrote

"If you have good parents and you get a good start in life, nothing can compare"

How is she acknowledging others that have been less fortunate?

That I was born in a country that is stable with access to education and healthcare, a benefits system and having freedom as a woman yes i feel fortunate

having an awful mother and the harm she has caused and the life time impact not so lucky

I don't see much empathy towards other people's bad circumstances on here.

It is more bragging posts about how great their own lives are.

I am sorry that you had a mother like that.

Thank you for your acknowledgement Flumpflimpo

Thankfully I am not like her and ds has been raised with unlimited unconditional love, care and respect

What is the benchmark though?
Other posters have mentioned a homeless person, presumably in the UK may not want to hear of your "luck" in being capable of have a good job, house, relationship but are there better countries to be homeless in, or worse?

If the presumption of a loving parent/s, opportunity to get a decent education, the right to vote regularly and opportunity to get work with progression if wanted, and decent housing is the expectation, are those out with that, unlucky?

I can understand, as my mother was the same.

As ive got older i have seen that she was very damaged and mentally unwell from her own life experiences. And she wasnt able to be a mother.

It is still hard for me and you to get through life without a mother figure.

That isn’t comparable. This is an international chatroom where all kinds of people can read and engage with all kinds of posts. If you don’t like the topic, then move on. This thread does not address one person directly, as in your example.

My example shows how the word lucky can be cruel and hurtful.

No i won't move on.

Stay and be hurt then, that’s your choice

That's mature.

All threads have discussion.

I want to stay to get some of the posters on here to have more empathy than they currently do.

A poster above wrote that she had a terrible mother.

No poster, except me, sent her a message of comfort.