To ask if you believe you’ve lived a luckier life than most?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

Whether it’s down to circumstances, timing, support, or sheer chance - do you ever stop and think, “I’ve had it easier than others?” Or do you believe we mostly make our own luck?

Yes. It all starts with who you’re born to. If you’re fortunate enough to have wonderful supportive parents then you’ve won the lottery of life x

I say thanks for my good fortune every day. I was raised in a comfortably well off middle class home by hardworking parents who encouraged learning and were interested in parenting me.

I was academically able which led to a university degree and then stable, well paid employment. I've worked hard all my adult life and enjoy the trappings of that, but I never underestimate the benefits my lucky start gave me.

I hate it when people don't appreciate their good fortune and insist everything is down to their own hard work. Millions of people globally work hard and live lives filled with struggle. Luck is part and parcel and that doesn't take anything away from any individual accomplishment.

Yes, I do recognise my privilege and have brought my children up to recognise their’s too.

We all work hard and don’t sit on our laurels but circumstances of birth, place of birth, health, educational opportunities, basic genetics etc etc have all contributed to us living (by comparison with the rest of the planet) a very comfortable and happy life.

Easier - no. Homelife was pretty dire.

Luckier - yes definitely. I got into a great grammar school. then a university, so I could escape my background, then into a career that has allowed me to travel to 36 countries and buy my own home.

Then I had my ds at 45, and had an easy pregnancy.

I've managed to raise DS myself with wraparound care available throughout his childhood, then he got a scholarship to an independent school at 11 and I've managed to cover the other 50% of fees myself.

So far, yes, we have been lucky.

I'm single, when it would have been nice to find a partner, and I've survived cancer once, but compared to what other people cope with, that's a walk in the park.

I am grateful for my DS and my health every day. 😊

Yes and no. Career wise I would say yes, I fell into a pathway that offered opportunities that I hadn’t considered and as a result I part retired fairly early.
On a personal level no. Lost my parents in my 30s, health wise not particularly lucky and infertility meant that my 30s were pretty miserable. I did eventually have my DS ( bit of a miracle) at 40 and life has been pretty good.

But we are still plagued by health problems.
Life is what you make it and it’s much easier to be happy when you accept that shit happens and move on.

Exactly

I disagree. There is a huge amount of child abuse in the UK.

I have had a shit life.

Luckier than most us a bit vague.

Do you mean most people living in the U.K. now? Most people on earth? Most people that ever existed?

I suspect you weren’t thinking so broadly but could you specify?

Anyway, even if it’s about people in the U.K. today, my answer would be yes, I definitely think I’m luckier than most.

It’s all relative anyway and down to people’s perspective.

My DS was very sick when he was born and it was 50:50 whether he would survive. He continued to be regularly I’ll and had a series of operations until he was 3 and we were frequently blue-lighted everywhere due to his breathing issues for a good year. They were dark, dark days. I feel incredibly lucky now to have a healthy child who is not in pain or distress and to have a good job, husband, stable home, nice village. I do have a life-limiting, progressive disease which might make me disabled but it has progressed very slowly so far, so again, I feel very lucky.

Agreed!

Well that makes me feel bad.

It all starts with the unfairness of who got good parents and who got bad parents.

My parents were abusive pieces of shit.

I definitely have not lived a luckier life than most.

I lived an extrmely difficult life.

Goodness me yes. By just happening to be born British, let alone born to kind, educated, middle class parents. I have had incredible luck. People lose their lives in the channel every day trying to live the life I was born into. There but for the grace of god go I. Yes I worked hard and took advantage of the opportunities offered to me, but people in some part of the world can only dream of the opportunities rights and freedoms I enjoy. I feel this gratitude often and try to remember that to whom much is given, much is expected.

I was born in a 1st world country. I think that alone makes me luckier than the majority of people in the world.

I've had bad luck - both my parents died when I was in my early 20s. But they were loving, supportive parents when I had them, which is luckier than some people.

My husband left our family after 20 years of marriage. But I have a really good job (largely due to the fact that he couldn't be relied upon to support us so I had to do it), I was able to keep my house and raise my kids on my own.

I have access to food, clean water, reliable heating/cooling, and healthcare. So overall I'm incredibly lucky.

I’m from a stable family with two loving parents, who didn’t encourage us or push us down any particular path but who supported us when we made that decision for ourselves. For me, that was the bedrock of what came after. That was blind luck, I suppose.

Career wise, I’ve made a lot of my own luck by persistence, making myself easy to manage and affable, “playing the game”, and working my arse off.

I’ve done very well in my career despite not being a “natural” at it, simply by working harder than a lot of other people.

I have been lucky:

• to be born into family that was OK financially, we had lots of far flung holidays. I was very well travelled as a child.
• not to be born in a war torn country with oppressive regimes in charge.
• had no ND and found education quite easy.
• met my DH at 18, he's been a great choice as husband and father
• got pregnant quite easily and had no mc, found pg not too bad.
• my babies ate well, slept well, not velcro, didn't cry much. Parenting has been fairly easy, all things considered, yes we've been consistant with love and discipline but I think we made the right balance.
• we've both been employed throughout, despite never earning the big money, we've done OK.
• our health is good, mine is improving. I'm getting fitter and losing weight on MJ, the slimmest I've been since 18. HRT sorted my peri symptoms out. DH has always been healthy.
• my job is pinch myself lucky. Low workload, WFH, complete job role autonomy, flexible hours, pays OK, benefits like company car/ health cash plan/ private medical/ trivial benefits and they pay my home Internet bill.

All in all, it is luck we've been born in the UK, I met a good life partner early in life, we had easy kids with no health issues, found jobs that suit us etc.

Any of us born in the UK in the last 70 years have been luckier than most.

Its just so unfair.

An innocent baby can't choose their parents.

Why did i have extremely abusive parents, and you had good parents?

Why are some people, not just me, born into awful families, and some are born into good families.

The unfairness of it all, has always made me so angry

Yes you’re right, I probably should’ve clarified a bit. I was mainly thinking about life in the UK today but I can see how the question invites broader interpretations.

It’s so interesting how some people feel lucky despite hard things and others struggle to feel lucky because of them. The comments really show how layered it all is.

Definitely this.

And on top of that I have been luckier still. I was born and raised in a solvent, hard-working and loving family. I was raised by good people who could not have shown a better example. I had opportunities as a child: learning to play musical instruments and going on lovely camping holidays. My parents weren’t wealthy (at least not until I was a young adult) but they worked hard and were frugal and used their savings for things that benefitted the family and us. I have never suffered abuse or hardship. I have never been homeless or bankrupt.

I did lose my parents somewhat early, but I’d had such a charmed life up to that point, it felt inevitable that our family should get a share of bad luck at some point. They didn’t deserve it though. 😕 And I have had my share of MH problems (both before and since my parents died). I have never really got to the root of it all but I think I probably have ADHD. (Several members of the family- both immediate and more distant- have been diagnosed recently and it would make sense of a lot of things that have caused me problems over the years).

I have a lovely DH- we’ve been together since we were barely out of our teens and I’ve known him since we were in Primary school. Our shared history and mutual friends has made our relationship easier than many, I think. He’s my best friend and my rock. We decided we wanted to have children and we conceived easily. I had textbook pregnancies and births and two healthy babies who are now young adults and smashing people. We live in a lovely home in a very nice place. We earn enough money to pay the bills and save a little for holidays and treats.

So yes. I’ve been immensely lucky and I know it- I remind myself of it often and let my children know too how lucky they are.

I think I am incredibly lucky. Born in a stable and wealthy country, access to modern medicine, living in peacetime, have a good education, steady job and a home. Compared to most of the population of the world, I have it made. Do I have everything I want? No. Do I have challenges and problems? Absolutely. But remembering how lucky I really am helps me keep those in perspective.

"Any of us". ?

Get out of your privileged bubble.

Was Arthur Labinjo Hughes lucky to be born in the UK? The child that was murdered by his father and his girlfriend?

There is a huge amount of child abuse in the UK.

I mean yeah, if you're looking at the rest of the world I've been luckier than most purely by virtue of where I happened to be born.
yep

I 100% have not.

I will also add that you never know what other people are going through.

It's massively down to hard work but there is 'luck' involved in having parental support in the early years.

I disagree