To ask if you believe you’ve lived a luckier life than most?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

Whether it’s down to circumstances, timing, support, or sheer chance - do you ever stop and think, “I’ve had it easier than others?” Or do you believe we mostly make our own luck?

People have told me I’m lucky because I was able to buy a house in my late 20s after both my parents died and I got an inheritance.

They now tell me I’m lucky because I don’t need to get up early at weekends and I can go on holiday and do what I want because I don’t have children. After spending tens of thousands on IVF and having repeated miscarriages over many years.

So others see me as lucky.

But finding a pound coin is probably some form of Marxist oppression too, don’t you know? TSK!

I consider myself very lucky. Great family , reasonable income but other people tell me otherwise I'm in the middle of cancer treatment, my husband also has a life threatening illness but I still consider myself to be very lucky I think it's all about perspective

No I definitely wasn't "lucky"

I had abusive parents and I experienced child sexual abuse. I was raped when I was 7.

I work with vulnerable children now, and there is still a huge amount of child sex abuse in the U.K. It ruins people's lives.

I feel incredibly lucky! Materially, certainly - we have a lovely house tied to our work which is paid well enough to save a bit each month towards a house. We live in a safe and pleasant area where we're excited to raise our kids. We both worked hard but I can't deny there was a fair amount of luck in there too.

But the place I feel luckiest is in our relationships - our friends are like extra siblings, a big group of us in our early 30s who are supportive and loving. Both sets of parents would do anything for us and also they like the in-laws! No drama in the wider family, everyone can get together and have a nice time. We received endless support and love in early pregnancy, and the people in our church have welcomed us in to various communities too. We feel very loved which I am thankful for every day.

I think this thread is tastless, and I think that the word "lucky" is nasty, and it is a hurtful word to people like me who have been through a very abusive childhood.

I wouldn't go up to a homless man on the street and say to him:

"I am lucky that I am not homeless like you."

I feel scared to think of how lucky I personally have been in my life so far. Literally sliding doors moments of good luck. This has not been the case for several people that I love. The universe is random and it’s a good idea to keep that in mind.

The universe is not that random.

If wealthy people helped poorer people more, the whole world would be better.

However, at the moment, we are a selfish materialistic society.

I couldn’t agree more.

in my post I was thinking more about health and relationships rather than material things, though of course these are not unrelated. In that context, why has my health always been so good (so far!) and that if two of my DC, so poor?

I get the point that you are trying to make, but it's not tasteless for people to acknowledge (for example) that if they have had financial and other successes in life then a lot of that (or possibly even all of it) is down to pure luck. Would you rather people said it was all down to their own hard work? Because that's the alternative (and we know how well that goes down on threads about high earners) and it sends a potentially worse message to those who have less.

Your example about the homeless man is not quite right. If we're using that analogy, the homeless man is walking up to people who are being grateful for their lot in life, and shrieking "not fair".

I'm sorry if you've had a more difficult time of it than many, but I think you're taking people's posts too personally. People being grateful for their own circumstances is not a statement about you

I haven't had a more difficult time of it than many.

Many people have a difficult time. I work with abused children right now. We get new referrals every week.

Children are being abused in huge numbers in the U.K.

The point is, if you have not been abused,

you don't go up to someone and say "I am lucky that I wasn't abused like you". It is offensive.

You should say, " I am sad that happened to you. How can I help you"

The point is, if you have not been abused,
you don't go up to someone and say "I am lucky that I wasn't abused like you".

Of course you don't do that. But that's not what people in this thread are doing. Using your analogy, you're the one "going up to people".

The thread is asking people if they feel they've lived a luckier life than most. Just because someone feels lucky that doesn't mean they can cure all the world's ills or are suddenly responsible for doing so 🤷‍♀️

I feel very lucky. I had a wonderful childhood with loving parents. We weren’t well off but had holidays and never wanted for anything. I’ve got 3 wonderful sons and was lucky enough to meet someone later in life and remarry. I’ve had some struggles along the way and worked damn hard but I’ve been fortunate

I think it is tasteless for people to go on a public forum, in a time when a lot of people are suffering terribly, and write about how lucky they are to have had a lot of money etc.

I think that people who haven't suffered a lot, tend to live in a bit of a bubble too.

It reminds me of an episode of rich house poor house. It is a tv show where they get a rich family to swap houses with a poor family for a week. The rich family are also given the poor family"s budget to live on. I remember that one family, after rent and utility bills, had to live on 30 pounds for the week for a family of four. They had to get all of their food out of that 30 pounds

The son of the rich family said

"Wow. I knew there were poor people in Africa. I had no idea that there were poor people in the U.K."

Gratitude is something that must be cultivated.

I can walk. My husband and children are alive. We have somewhere to live. I have the use of my mind and hands and will hopefully always be able to use them to earn a living. I wasn't born into any religion that told me how to dress or how to submit to men.

Jesus yes I'm lucky.

Some days I think we've work hard for what we have and others think we are lucky. At the end of the day even having the good fortune of having the emotional intelligence to make good decisions is luck right? Also good health ☺️, because it doesn't matter how much luck you have of you, your husband and kids are not healthy then that goes down the drain....so I would like to think I am a lucky person and everything works out well for me ❤️

Define luck, it's hard to measure.
Everyone will have good and bad parte in life.
There's also another saying. You make your own luck.

Also.life can change quickly.

It would be tasteless to go on a thread entitled “Do you think that British society is unfair and that we have a terrible amount of poverty and abuse” and talk about how lucky you are.

but it is not tasteless to go on a thread asking “are you more lucky than most” and say yes, I think I am.

It is also not wrong at all to go on that thread and say “actually no, I’ve had a terrible life and there are many people who suffer. Just because you are in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, it doesn’t mean that you can’t suffer greatly”.

I think the value of a public forum is multiple perspectives and it does burst people’s “bubble” and give pause for thought.

But it is not tasteless to say I think I’m lucky on a thread about whether you think you’re lucky.

*edited for spelling

Not everyone reading this will have a stable clean water supply or shoes for their kids.

If you have those both, you can call yourself lucky.

Well I am from a generation when University education was pretty much free in the UK so I count myself lucky.

In fact I do consider I have been luckier than most.

My parents were not particularly well off but we were a happy and stable family with all the essentials taken care of and we were all encouraged to get the most out of our education. I was educated at local state schools but did well enough to get in to University at a time when not only tuition fees were paid but maintenance grants were available that provided enough to live on.

I had a career that kept me fully employed and was reasonably well paid and interesting.

I have a smashing DH to whom I have been happily married for the thick end of 40 years.

We bought houses at the right time so we were able to pay off our mortgage in our early 50s.

We have lovely adult DC successfully "launched" in to life.

In our 60s we are retired with enough to live a nice life and, fingers crossed, no health issues yet.

Believe me, I am aware I am lucky. I do not take it for granted or assume that my good fortune is due to any special virtues on my part.

After a dire beginning, adult life has been so much happier than I ever would have expected.

I have worked hard and created my own luck.

however I did not marry well, I wish I’d have known how he was going to turn out. I see my friends with well off husbands and wish that was me.

Than most on the planet? Yes, way luckier. I've not lived through war or famine or flood; not lived in a culture where women can't be educated or are married off at 12. And as a PP said, I grew up at a time when uni education was free and homes were just about affordable. That's a huge stroke of luck

Within UK, I think my luck is a probably a fair bit above average overall, with some big highlights and some definite lowlights, so it balances out.

I could write my life story so it sounds like a fairytale of happiness. And I could write it so it sounds like a painful slog through difficult times. Both would be true. Depends what you focus on. I prefer to be upbeat.

But, again, your example is the opposite of what people are saying on this thread 🙄

If, using your example, pp are the son of the rich family, they know there are poor people in the UK and that they (the rich kid) are privileged. Your example would work if people were saying "no, I'm not lucky. I have a nice home, food on the table, money to pay the bills and a loving family, but so does everyone else." Or if they were saying (like a pp's example of the rich man in India) "I'm not lucky. It's just karma. Those poor people must have done something bad in a past life".

That's not what people are saying at all.

@Flumpflimpo Your posts seem to equate money to luck. I don’t think that’s the case. Money doesn’t bring you luck. You’re not “lucky” as such because you have money. Money can only get you so far. You can’t buy luck. That’s where a lot of people get confused. You’re either a lucky person or you’re not. My belief is that your luck is defined from birth. Who your parents are defines your luck. If you get a good start in life nothing can compare