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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or was partner cruel and out of order?

102 replies

ConflictedBeagle · 19/07/2025 23:34

Watching the boxing tonight with my partner, he had set up projector and we were both having a great night watching the fights leading up to the main event.

Main event comes and unfortunately I went to unplug my phone charger and accidentally switched off the projector he was using to put the boxing on a big screen.

I was mortified and felt like an absolute clown, apologized profusely. He went on about how long it would take to sort it all back out. I kept apologising, to which he was silent. I said to him that he could at least tell me it would be ok, accidents happen etc. to which his reply was "say nothing".

I just felt so awful about my stupidity and also angry at his response that I will admit I swore at him and stormed out to sit outside. He came to find me a couple of minutes later, boxing back on and asked me to come back in but I was really upset by this point so sat outside until after the boxing finished and only came in once he had gone to bed.

I feel so confused and would be so grateful for anyone's comments on the situation.
Amu thanks!

OP posts:
StMarie4me · 20/07/2025 08:52

ConflictedBeagle · 19/07/2025 23:46

I felt he was cruel to watch me apologizing over and over and feeling so bad with no word of comfort over what turned out to be less than 2 minutes of missed time of the fight.

Maybe I am too soft but I always reassure someone who has made a mistake and felt sad that in that moment he seemed not to care that I would have felt horrendous.

He was annoyed at you- your mistake- not appropriate for him to comfort you. Sulking outside and ruining the night is tantamount to coercive control as you still wanted it to be all about you.

ConflictedBeagle · 20/07/2025 09:14

We have had a good chat this morning and have both apologised and agreed to re-watch the fight together at some point with me staying well away from the tech!

We are generally a very happy couple, this was all highly unusual!

Really pleased I posted here, some very thought provoking replies and I agree my reaction was likely a shame response linked to my past (I had a parent who would often respond to small mistakes or minor bad behaviour by subjecting me to silent treatment for days). I wouldn't have made the connection without other posters and now I know to be vigilant for this and hopefully avoid future overreactions.

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