Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

[Peekaboooooo]

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

Middle aged and got just about enough free time on my hands. Can't say I've ever felt the need to watch what my neighbours are doing and accuse them of being lazy though. If I ever did, I'd expect the odds of someone telling me to mind my own business and get a life to be quite high!

We have rampant ivy coming through the length of our garden from next door. It’s now Impossible to control and it’s taking over, as we can only cut back our side.

I used to like it, but now I wish it was all gone

Some people hate foliage and seem to find threatening. As long as you keep it trimmed ignore them.

I like ivy but understand it can be a massive pain for others.

I hate ivy, I have some coming through from next door through my fence, it’s horrible stuff and if you pull it off the fence it leaves white marks and if the fence is painted it pulls the paint off. If you want it, then keep it off their side.

My mum used to get on her high horse about it. It’s an older person thing I think.

I had ivy coming in from my next door neighbour and it was a bloody nuisance. I raise guide dog pups and it’s toxic to dogs and in the summer I’d cut it back every few weeks, it started to feel adversarial between me and the plant.

i spoke to her about it several times with no effect. I got a Stanley knife and cut it everywhere I could reach at the bottom. In the end she got rid of it because it was strangling her roses. I was starting to plot its demise.

I'm allergic to ivy plants so I wouldn't want it anywhere near my garden. As long as you are aware how quickly it grows and you are able to cut it as it grows! I don't see that your neighbour can object. However , if left untrained' it will eventually pull down the fence.

Ivy is fast growing, spreads like mad. It will destroy the fence or any brickwork around. You need to really keep it under control if you aren't willing to try and kill it off. Its not something you want to deliberately leave along a fence/wall unless you have the time/energy to actively manage it.

My neighbours have let ivy spread along their side of my fence. Its ruined the fence and I'm constantly fighting to stop it spreading through. It is a nightmare.

I mooted sticking a hypodermic filled with weedkiller into the roots once but worried that the neighbour would be too upset.

If you spray ivy I think you're supposed to mix the weedkiller with oils or something because otherwise the fluid just rolls off the leaves.

Sorry not oil but washing up liquid which breaks down the waxiness of the leaves. When you cut at root level paint on herbicide immediately.

Saw elsewhere white vinegar and salt dissolved is good if you have pets.

Ivy can be very destructive and this is probably his concern. Be reasonable, pull it up and replace it with a less invasive creeper.

Ivy can take hold, and quickly. My old house had ivy all up one side, going into next doors and coming inside my back door and bathroom window.

you don’t sound like a kind neighbour, A siding bamboo plant is not the same as ivy.

Make it clear that you’re happy for them to trim the ivy if it invades their garden. I wouldn’t have a lengthy conversation about it 🤔🙂

My neighbour called me lazy once because a few (and I mean only a few) leaves were on my drive not swept up. Hmmm, work full time/have quite a few children (one is disabled). I would love to be lazy for a day.

In my neighbour's case, too much time on her hands.

I like ivy but I absolutely hate it in gardens! My last neighbour had a stump of ivy in his evergreen hedge and it came through under the steps from our patio to the garden. I tried to cut it back but it had put out tendrils everywhere. It pulled out cement; it contributed to the little wooden fence on the steps rotting; and it got up to our house from under the patio or steps somehow, damaged our drain pipes and got into our gutter. Our landlord paid someone to spend a day ripping and cutting the bastard stuff off - great, except it had left marks everywhere.

And now? It grew back within a few weeks and the new tenants are currently battling it!

OP, the problem isn’t the height of your ivy, it’s the fact it’s there at all. Every day your neighbours will see the 10 leaves poking through their side of the fence and fear it getting out of control. Just dig the whole thing out!

Nothing worse than living next to a retired couple. Always have too much time on their hands and just sit there all day thinking of ways to annoy everyone.

So now we've given the ivy a good cut back on our side and I've checked it's all OK on their side, what do we do now if they say anything more or are rude to us again? Can they make us take it all away? As long as we keep it maintained and it doesn't effect their side, surely they'll just have to put up with the thought of it being there on our side.

I hate cigarette smoke and we used to live next-door to smokers in our previous house. It was a mid terrace and the gardens were very close proximity to each other. It was horrible breathing it in, and when I was pregnant too, but it was their garden and if they wanted to smoke, they could. I'll probably get shot down for this, but to me, breathing in smoke from a neighbour is worse that a bit of ivy. I keep repeating the fact that it's A BIT!

Our neighbour saying again about the ivy yesterday morning really got to me. Especially as we'd already cut it back. But also because we'd been in a car accident the evening before as someone drove into us. The other driver was not paying attention and went straight into my daughter's side of the car. We were all fine but shaken up. I know our neighbour wasn't to know that (unless he looked at our car) but it's getting really persistent now and it's like they're targeting us whenever they spot us outside. They don't know what else is going on in our lives. The car accident as one example.

Just cut it back and stop making a fuss. They are absolutely within their rights to ask as it's a pita to sort out and it's coming from your garden.

Sounds like they could be more polite but honestly I’m with them. I can’t stand ivy and it can be very damaging.

Can't they just cut back the bits that go over? X^^

You do nothing - except trim it back two or three times a year, that's all. You're being a perfectly good neighbour - & contributing to habitats for wildlife! I've a feeling that some posters on here have the kind of "gardens" where the lawn, flowers & box balls are 100% Made in Taiwan ...

She has

Just one, or more? If you're looking to plant several along a long fence/wall, & are prepared to wait a bit longer, you could buy one or more plants in 9cm pots here: https://www.jparkers.co.uk/hedera-glacier/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22797831027&gbraid=0AAAAAD_IAOrh17Aos4kkAX5x_TJN9sWRm&gclid=CjwKCAjwp_LDBhBCEiwAK7FnktEM0nnJN8Y6vlsEEo6GGzGljj79y_-4adcZh5z6l4IZYyrcq_m9BxoC6PsQAvD_BwE

If you just want one, I'd spend a bit more. All the usual places do it (Crocus, Thompson & Morgan, Gardening Express etc), but I like to use independent/family-run nurseries if I can.

This nursery/garden centre is great (I often order specimen Agapanthus from there even though I'm in Edinburgh & they're in Newcastle!): https://www.cowellsgc.co.uk/product/hedera-helix-glacier#specifications-link

As is this one: https://www.ashwoodnurseries.com/shop/hedera-helix-glacier.html

Whereabouts are you in the UK? If you have a local nursery that you like, you could ask them to order it in for you? Then you can avoid p&p costs?

Dear OP, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. I have 3 young children, one of who is SEN. I understand the ivy is only minimal to you but it’s still a nightmare to your neighbours.

I work full time in a demanding job as does my husband and we have a large garden / patio to maintain and we do it for us and for our elderly neighbours who take pride in their house / garden. I’m not saying you don’t and for context my boys are 6, 4 and 2. I do a lot of work around them and help them to realise our house / garden maintenance also impacts on our street so we want it to look presentable. The ivy is a problem that’s not going to go away. Couldn’t you possibly get rid of the ivy and grow something else less invasive? Think of it this way if they are spending the last years of their lives in their marital home they just want to spend it in peace and enjoy their home. It seems like the ivy is a “locked horn“ situation with yourselves not wanting to back down. Would it really matter that much to you as it’s literally the world to them. You could always regrow it after they have gone if you intend to stay put.

For the sake of living a life in peace and not having a long drawn out neighbour dispute I would get rid of it and allow them to live their last few years together in peace. I bet they have health issues you don’t know about either despite seeming “fit for their age”.