Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

[Peekaboooooo]

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

Interesting, the OP has said that the neighbours who are complaining about the ivy have grown bamboo up against her boundary…

There's plenty of things you can do where legally no-one can stop you, but people would think you were being an arse if you did it.
Planting invasive plant species away from neighbouring properties is neighbourly and you can keep your plants to yourself. The neighbours are within their right to think it's a bit of an arsehole move to create a scenario where they have to monitor that your planting choices don't create a long term problem in their garden. Legally can they do anything, nope.

They should both get rid of their invasive plants or move them away from neighbouring properties

Where as calling your neighbour lazy and repeatedly complaining at them to get rid of a plant after they've told you they're keeping it is not the behaviour of a controlling arsehole!

The OP’s neighbours’ rudeness and insults show clearly they already think the OP and her husband are being “arses” - that ship has sailed so at this point it’s a moot point. Perhaps if the neighbours had been kinder with their approach they would deserve over and above the legal standpoint. However, complaining about tiny bits of ivy poking minimally through a fence they don’t own may make some people think the complainants are arses. A solicitor may even advise the constant complaints are harassment. I bend over backwards and jump into action for neighbours who are nice about things, but not for those who try to issue me orders, insult and resort to rudeness. You reap what you sow…

Didn't say it wasn't. Obviously shouting at your neighbours is arsehole behaviour. But so is planting invasive plants on property boundaries for neighbours to deal with forevermore. By the sounds of it, both of them may be guilty in that case as if the bamboo isn't contained appropriately that will soon become an issue for op and she may understand why the majority of people were telling her to get rid of an invasive plant. She may well be back on here in a couple of years complaining that she's had to tackle the bamboo popping up in her garden because the neighbours think it's her problem to maintain, they like bamboo so they're keeping it (I imagine they're likely to take this stance if she was unwilling to remove the ivy as tit for tat)

As far as i'm aware, Bamboo, while very fast growing, doesn't root inside and destroy brickwork.

I think their problem is less with how it looks and more about how destructive it can become.

Some type of bamboo can be invasive and damaging
www.rhs.org.uk/plants/types/grasses/bamboo-control

It can be much much worse, destroying homes’ foundations. The parts of Ivy that can cause damage can be seen as they’re above the ground. Bamboo can grow underground and until it comes up through the foundations in the middle of your living room floor you’re none the wiser

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0hrn6yf

I stand corrected.
I was aware that some varieties can grow up to a foot in height in less than a day but didn't realise the roots were a problem.

The legal outcomes regarding bamboo damage are generally very different to ivy because the damaging parts of bamboo can grow unseen underground for years doing damage the OP can’t possibly mitigate by pruning because she doesn’t know what she can’t see. If their bamboo damages OP’s property it’s very likely the neighbours will have to pay and it could be a huge amount. It’ll also devalue both properties. My best advice to everybody is check your own and neighbouring gardens (and not just direct NDNs) for bamboo and then ask the property owner to get an expert to establish if it’s one of the invasive damaging kind and keep a record of the conversations.

The point is the OP hasn't asked her neighbour to move the bamboo, because she's, quite rightly, not trying to control what they do with their garden. The neighbour in this scenario is being unreasonably rude and entitled.

Unfortunately a big part of gardening is dealing with unwanted plants cropping up in inconvenient places. I've just spent the morning filling up my garden waste bin with ivy, bindweed and horsetail, I'll get onto Mother Nature to lodge my complaint.

Some bamboos are the devil's work.

Me too, over the weekend I was clearing and cutting back bindweed, nettles and brambles all with roots in neighbouring gardens and fields. And I own 3 out of 4 of the boundary walls and hedges - hedges which are being dragged down in places by bindweed and ripped (along with my hands) by bramble thorns which are sharp enough to go through gloves. Am I going to go round and dictate to my neighbours tell them off and instruct them like small children and call them lazy? No, it’s all part of gardening.

Yes horsetails and brambles are a pain in the backside. But i imagine your neighbours aren't planting them on purpose and saying they are keeping them because they like them, you can't stop all weeds from existing. But ivy is more destructive and the op could actually kill it off, but unless she does it is likely to become a persistent problem for the neighbours

Where does it say the OP planted the ivy? Maybe it was already there when she moved into the house. She's clarified that it's not anywhere near anyone's house or brickwork, so the only thing it's going to potentially destroy is the fence which she owns!

Even if she didn't plant it she's actively trying to keep it, because she likes it. Again you might be miffed if your next door neighbour was leaving their side to run rampant with weeds making it harder to keep your side maintained. But unlike normal weeds the ivy poses a destructive risk. If it is coming through the fence by the neighbours shrubs it won't take long for it to root and kill off the shrubs. It will them be an ongoing tasks of trying to stop the ivy taking over their garden. If op likes ivy there's nothing stopping her from killing the existing ivy and putting more up where she can keep it from going over to the neighbours property and causing them problems.
If the neighbours were complaining about sweerpeas growing through the fence I don't think anyone would think she would unreasonable in telling them to sod off, but ivy growing through to the neighbours garden through the fence isn't the same due to the invasion risk

She doesn’t have to kill it off and the neighbours have the option to cut it back to the boundary to mitigate any issues with it. That’s the law. Constant complaints and insults about something the OP doesn’t have to do can easily become harassment.

Heed this cautionary tale. My mum’s neighbour’s low fence was rotting and ivy and weeds were coming over, she kept making comments, telling them to sort it and one day they had a big row about it, my mum told them they had to sort it and swore at them she was that angry. My mum then received a letter from their solicitor telling her that her neighbour their client didn't have to do anything about the ivy or fence. They’d checked the title deeds etc. The solicitor said that actually, as my mum had removed some of the fence and killed some of the ivy with weed killer, without permission she’d committed trespass and criminal damage. The solicitor also warned her about inappropriate behaviour ie swearing and nasty insults. Apparently her neighbours had this all on Ring footage. My mum went to get her own legal advice and was told she didn’t have a leg to stand on and that if she did or said anything else she could be prosecuted civilly or potentially criminally for harassment and how that could negatively impact her life. My mum avoids the neighbours completely now and is always on edge because she’s terrified of being accused of something else. Being prosecuted or charged will cost her a lot of money she doesn’t have and if she gets a criminal conviction for harassment she may not be able to work or travel abroad. So just remember peeps how one day a bit of ivy you can cut yourself can so easily blow up into something so much worse.

You’re wrong

Legally the OP doesn't have to do anything. It doesn't mean the neighbours are unreasonable for being annoyed, should they have shouted, no. But they aren't unreasonable for being annoyed.
I'm not sure which bit you're saying I'm wrong about. There are many comments showing how ivy has impacted on people negatively and struggling to control it. I never said OP had an legal responsibility to prevent it going over to the neighbours but there is an easy middle ground of keeping ivy in her garden but not putting it in a place where it's likely to encroach on the neighbours, win-win.

The OP does keep her ivy under control so it minimally pokes through a fence which belongs to her. The maintenance she does even though she doesn’t have to means there is no invasion risk. That’s where you’re wrong. I wouldn’t want sweet peas growing through a boundary either, going all straggly, growing up trees and bushes, self seeding everywhere…but like ivy I am responsible for cutting it back if it encroaches. Ivy doesn’t have special rules. The OP hasn’t let it become invasive to her neighbours it’s her fence, both sides. She’s actually already gone above and beyond controlling it. The neighbours however are still being rude

When DH & I were house hunting there was a house I was interested in, but I couldn't understand why it was so, so cheap. Like £75,000 when comparable houses were £100,000.
It turned out that it had had ivy growing on it previously & the ivy had grown through the walls into the interior of the house & whole place needed extensive remediation.

When we found a house there was ivy in the garden & the first thing I did was kill /remove it, because who wants their house ruined by Ivy? As it was it had completely ruined the fence it was on. The whole thing was rotted & needed replacing.

It was already poking through the fence, ivy sends out tendrels which can then root in the neighbours garden, the fact it got through the fence meant it was at risk of spreading into the neighbours, it sounds like op has now hacked it back further since the neighbours shouted about it. But would she have done this if they hadn't? Probably not as she thought it was fine
Sweet peas are no where near as invasive or destructive if you put an aibu post on here to saying a sweet pea popped through the neighbours fence I imagine the voting wouldn't be in your favour however 2/3 ish of the vote is showing op is unreasonable showing that most people would be annoyed about the ivy coming through

One of my neighbours very much does let their garden run rampant with weeds, including plenty of ivy which grows into my garden. They've not touched the bottom of their garden in the 11 years I've lived next door to them, so the ivy, bindweed etc is 6 foot high in places. It's none of my business though because it's their garden. I cut it back to the boundary line once a month, what I don't do is call them lazy and harass them to do something which will make my life easier!

The neighbours can cut it back and are obliged to do so to stop it causing damage. In fact they should check that their shrubs aren’t touching the OP’s fence, causing damp if growing to close to the fence or preventing access if it needs to be replaced (yes I’m being facetious). I know you don’t care what the legal obligation is for each party but it does actually matter a lot and neighbours need to remember that being neighbourly works both ways or they may just get the legal minimum position from those they should try a bit harder to compromise with. No roots have got into the neighbours’ garden so far and being this aggressive and nasty about what might happen isn’t on in my book.

Yeah MN vote results are the be all and end all in every life circumstance aren’t they, We should all live our lives according to them really shouldn’t we - I can’t see any pitfalls with doing that at all or with someone believing that lots of random people online getting annoyed are right vs the actual law being right…