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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

318 replies

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:40

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 11:45

Peekaboooooo · 20/07/2025 09:56

This is how the fence is looking. The bits of ivy on the ground are just the bits that have been cut.

That is MORE than okay! It’s not even up the fence!
Ignore your neighbours.

crumpet · 20/07/2025 11:48

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:53

But the point is, we have cut it back! It's not on the top of their fence and there are probably about 10 ivy leaves poking through at the bottom of their side.

10 can change very quickly. There should be none at all. As so many have said, ivy is a sod to keep on top of. They do not want to have to keep on top of it - it is not their plant, and can be very destructive.

Be a good neighbour- keep it under control on your side and don’t let it come close to affecting their property. It is your responsibility not theirs.

Da1ryQu33n · 20/07/2025 11:50

crumpet · 20/07/2025 11:48

10 can change very quickly. There should be none at all. As so many have said, ivy is a sod to keep on top of. They do not want to have to keep on top of it - it is not their plant, and can be very destructive.

Be a good neighbour- keep it under control on your side and don’t let it come close to affecting their property. It is your responsibility not theirs.

Show quote history

She is

HelpMeGetThrough · 20/07/2025 11:51

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:59

It hasn't damaged the fence (which is our fence). It's never been out of control but we do like it there on our side. We love the green, coverage it create and the insects that enjoy it.
These neighbours have a bamboo plant that hangs over ours a bit and drops loads of leaves but it's not a big deal.

Good luck then. It didn’t damage our fence, until it did and I didn’t notice. I have the joys now of replacing half the fence.

Ivy is a complete bastard and I “think” I’ve got rid of most of it now, time will tell.

WhatICallMyUsername · 20/07/2025 11:57

We have this with next doors growing ivy along all their fences, I am forever out there hacking it back from our side and trying to stop it attaching to the fence.

YABU

Bobbybobbins · 20/07/2025 12:01

I don’t know anything ivy but we are surrounded by retired active gardening neighbours who I am sure think we are lazy with our garden. Like you we have two young children, jobs etc.

ParmaVioletTea · 20/07/2025 12:06

Ivy is always bad, especially when it's a neighbour's. I had to have the front of my house repainted because of a careless neighbour's ivy. I just spray it with RoundUp now.

YABU.

Deal with it.

BCBird · 20/07/2025 12:09

They don't want ivy on their garden. They don't want to hear your kids making a row- simple

SuburbanSprawl · 20/07/2025 12:19

zingally · 20/07/2025 09:55

Ivy is bad for brickwork, or whatever it's holding on to. It's super invasive and sends out tendrils into every tiny space or crack, over time making it bigger.

As a former fan of ivy, I'd say it's impossible to carry on liking the stuff after you've spent an entire week trying to get the tiny brown tendrils off a large expanse of white-painted pebbledash.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 20/07/2025 12:24

thinklagoon · 19/07/2025 21:05

I’m team ivy! It’s OP’s fence and ivy is a good wildlife habitat – for birds, bats, insects, pollinators. If the neighbours don’t like it on their side, up to them to cut it back to the boundary as they would any other plant or shrub or tree growing over. It’s really not OP’s problem.

Agree!

myusernamewastakenbyme · 20/07/2025 12:34

My neighbours ivy grew over his side and into my summer house which over time completely wrecked it.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 20/07/2025 12:39

I hate it, the neighbour behind us likes it.
The ivy grew down my wall, on the roof of my shed. I cut it back, it is growing under my fucking shed and I can't get to it.

Rumple55 · 20/07/2025 12:56

maudelovesharold · 20/07/2025 11:22

I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands.

Yes, of course, that’ll be it! 🙄
How bloody patronising! Of course life, its problems, trials and tribulations, involvement with family, housework, shopping, cooking, volunteering, even paid work 😮all stop once you hit retirement age. There you are, twiddling your thumbs, scanning the horizon for the next molehill you can fashion into a mountain. Wait till you’re ‘older’ op. I hope life is as easy for you as you seem to think it’s going to be.

The casual ageism here is so offensive, I agree. It’s incredible. No doubt they recognise casual sexism, and casual racism. But ageism? Oh, that’s just fine. Let’s discount people due to how long they’ve been here. Aaarg.

redjeans28 · 20/07/2025 12:59

I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands.

What if they think you're just young and stupid and are growing things that you haven't the first clue about? The only reason you're keeping on top of it is because you know they're annoyed about it. If they'd said nothing I would bet it would be running rampant.

Isitreallysohard · 20/07/2025 12:59

What does having SEN kids or working (as most people do( have to do with ivy? BtW ivy is really destructive, did you research it before growing it?

TeapotTallulah · 20/07/2025 13:10

thinklagoon · 19/07/2025 21:05

I’m team ivy! It’s OP’s fence and ivy is a good wildlife habitat – for birds, bats, insects, pollinators. If the neighbours don’t like it on their side, up to them to cut it back to the boundary as they would any other plant or shrub or tree growing over. It’s really not OP’s problem.

I agree. I’ve had ivy growing up my gable end for 20 years and it’s not caused any harm. I trim it 2-3 times a year and it’s so much nicer to look at than bricks. It’s home to spiders and insects and most years we have blue tits or robins nesting in it.

MissHollysDolly · 20/07/2025 13:44

It’s invasive and a pain. Get rid of it, and grow something that won’t cause them a hassle

Spirallingdownwards · 20/07/2025 13:49

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:50

@TY78910 the only thing I can think is that our children can be a bit loud and excitable when they're playing in the garden. Only this time of year and only for an hour or two each day interspersed with being inside. But we always tell them to be quiet if it gets too loud or we bring them in if it gets too much. And tbh, their dog barks quite a bit too if we go in our garden so it's not just noise from our side.

But if it was to do with that, they can just say! So I'm not sure.

I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands.

FFS It isn't about your kids- it's about ivy. Which is invasive.
Which causes damage.

Sort the ivy!

99bottlesofkombucha · 20/07/2025 14:02

our neighbours have mentioned Ivy. Some is coming from ours, but we have some coming from the other neighbours, I have no time to properly deal with it, I like Ivy, so I don’t. It’s not that antisocial of us, the neighbours like to get everything done perfectly - he’s retired and when they moved in it felt like he repointed every brick, washing the roof, getting the council to trim the street trees, we are two busy full time parents to 3 dc and do not have the time between weekend sports.

ExpressCheckout · 20/07/2025 14:06

@Peekaboooooo I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands.

You lost me at this bit. You have no idea what issues or problems someone might have behind closed doors, and discriminatory comments won't help.

BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 14:06

HelpMeGetThrough · 20/07/2025 11:51

Good luck then. It didn’t damage our fence, until it did and I didn’t notice. I have the joys now of replacing half the fence.

Ivy is a complete bastard and I “think” I’ve got rid of most of it now, time will tell.

Edited
Show quote history

How did it damage your fence? I’ve just pulled some off mine that must have been there 5 years and the fence is in perfect condition underneath.

It damages fencing because of the weight of not trimmed back sufficiently. The suckers do not penetrate wood.

hididdlyho · 20/07/2025 14:42

ExpressCheckout · 20/07/2025 14:06

@Peekaboooooo I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands.

You lost me at this bit. You have no idea what issues or problems someone might have behind closed doors, and discriminatory comments won't help.

The neighbour took it upon himself to call OP's husband lazy without knowing about their circumstances. If he has the time to be watching what his neighbours are doing for long enough to declare to them that they are lazy, then I'd argue he probably does have too much time on his hands!

BlankBlankBlank14 · 20/07/2025 14:59

BurntBroccoli · 20/07/2025 14:06

How did it damage your fence? I’ve just pulled some off mine that must have been there 5 years and the fence is in perfect condition underneath.

It damages fencing because of the weight of not trimmed back sufficiently. The suckers do not penetrate wood.

Show quote history

Our neighbours ivy got in under the slats of our fence, they got distorted, the suckers also caused damage.

On the other side (which was their own fence), it pulled their trellis down.

AI Overview

+12

Ivy can cause significant damage to fences, particularly wooden ones, by growing into gaps, pushing apart panels, and trapping moisture, which leads to rot. While it can be visually appealing, it's important to manage its growth to prevent structural problems.

This pretty much sums it up!

Rumple55 · 20/07/2025 15:24

hididdlyho · 20/07/2025 14:42

The neighbour took it upon himself to call OP's husband lazy without knowing about their circumstances. If he has the time to be watching what his neighbours are doing for long enough to declare to them that they are lazy, then I'd argue he probably does have too much time on his hands!

Show quote history

are you old? You must have too much time on your hands to be commenting here?

BlankBlankBlank14 · 20/07/2025 15:41

Rumple55 · 20/07/2025 15:24

are you old? You must have too much time on your hands to be commenting here?

Show quote history

Do only “old” people have time on their hands……

What an odd assumption …..