Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

318 replies

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:40

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
TY78910 · 19/07/2025 20:44

It seems bizarre to me that if you’ve lived amicably for 4 years, assuming the ivy was there the entire time, why is it now a problem? Have you upset them in any other way?

Brefugee · 19/07/2025 20:44

cut your ivy right back. It puts roots out everywhere on the runners and it is a massive PITA if it takes hold.

You are worried about being judged because you know you should be keeping it under control.

OnAMissionToLoseWeight · 19/07/2025 20:44

Ivy is extremely invasive. If they take pride in the appearance of their garden I can see why they are annoyed.

Purpleturtle45 · 19/07/2025 20:45

Ivy isn't good for their brickwork so I can understand where they are coming from. If you like it and want to keep it then you should stay on top of it, even if you have a busy life. If you are too busy then get rid of it.

KatParr · 19/07/2025 20:45

Ivy is a bastard and it'll destroy the fence eventually if you don't really keep on top of it.

Whaleandsnail6 · 19/07/2025 20:46

OnAMissionToLoseWeight · 19/07/2025 20:44

Ivy is extremely invasive. If they take pride in the appearance of their garden I can see why they are annoyed.

This...ivy can be a real pain if you dont want it there.

Topjoe19 · 19/07/2025 20:46

I'd just cut it right back. If it is coming over their side you do need to keep on top of the issue. I understand it's hard when you have kids/work etc

OhNoMyChocMelted · 19/07/2025 20:46

Ivy is horrendous. I don't blame them

MugsyBalonz · 19/07/2025 20:48

Keep the ivy trimmed so it's not going into their garden, none should be going over and it's your responsibility to make sure it doesn't.

MyNeedyLilacBird · 19/07/2025 20:49

I'm not be happy either and would be judging you too.

Ivy is an absolute pain in the arse. My mother planted some years ago and it took root, destroyed fences and even brought down a garage. Absolutely awful stuff. You need to keep in top of it constantly or get rid.

RampantIvy · 19/07/2025 20:49

OnAMissionToLoseWeight · 19/07/2025 20:44

Ivy is extremely invasive. If they take pride in the appearance of their garden I can see why they are annoyed.

It is. My user name was derived from the extremely invasive ivy that grows over our fence from the railway line that we back onto.

it is a PITA to cut back, and we have to wear face masks while cutting it because of the particles it releases when we cut it.

Sorry @Peekaboooooo YABU.

Original poster
Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:50

@TY78910 the only thing I can think is that our children can be a bit loud and excitable when they're playing in the garden. Only this time of year and only for an hour or two each day interspersed with being inside. But we always tell them to be quiet if it gets too loud or we bring them in if it gets too much. And tbh, their dog barks quite a bit too if we go in our garden so it's not just noise from our side.

But if it was to do with that, they can just say! So I'm not sure.

I just don't know if it's because they're an older couple with too much time on their hands.

OP posts:
Dutchhouse14 · 19/07/2025 20:50

Well I don't mind
Some ivy, they could take it cut, remove it from their side. It's not up to them what you grow in your side of the fence.
Don't worry about them judging you, you have a busy life with lots of commitments. Calling your DH lazy was incredibly rude

amber763 · 19/07/2025 20:52

It's not just because they've got time on their hands. As others have said ivy is a massive pain in the arse and even if it is minimal, it's going to ruin the fence. They shouldn't have been rude about your husband though

Original poster
Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:53

But the point is, we have cut it back! It's not on the top of their fence and there are probably about 10 ivy leaves poking through at the bottom of their side.

OP posts:
FestivusMiracle · 19/07/2025 20:53

I love ivy and I encourage it to grow. I couldn’t give a shit if it grows through from next door.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 19/07/2025 20:54

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:40

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

Ivy is a nightmare and damaging to any structures. Move your ivy to somewhere that isn't shared or you'll need to keep on top of it regularly.

LetsPutTheKettleOn · 19/07/2025 20:56

I agree with the previous posters about it being extremely invasive. In addition it traps moisture causing fence rot. I can see why they want it controlled. Sorry if it’s not the responses you were looking for.

justasking111 · 19/07/2025 20:56

KatParr · 19/07/2025 20:45

Ivy is a bastard and it'll destroy the fence eventually if you don't really keep on top of it.

Will invade your drains too.

Wheech · 19/07/2025 20:57

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:53

But the point is, we have cut it back! It's not on the top of their fence and there are probably about 10 ivy leaves poking through at the bottom of their side.

It grows so fast though. I've cut back the ivy that grows from the bit of land bordering my garden 3 times this summer already. There are bits in my shrubs and bushes I can't get behind to cut and it's starting to choke them. I think they have a point, you really need to keep on top of it.

Juniperberry55 · 19/07/2025 20:59

Ivy is awful and invasive. Even if the fence if yours(it will destroy the fence eventually) you say it's growing through the fence, but it's okay because their shrubs are in front, but it will root on the neighbours garden and it will be hard for them to cut back from their side because the shrubs are in the way, it will end up rooting in their garden and is a pain in the arse to control it it's coming over from your garden. I can see why they're annoyed

Pixie2015 · 19/07/2025 20:59

the ivy will wreck the fence - we work and have children with additional needs but after spending a lot of money on the fence i try and pull bits of ivy off as the kids are playing

Darragon · 19/07/2025 20:59

Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:53

But the point is, we have cut it back! It's not on the top of their fence and there are probably about 10 ivy leaves poking through at the bottom of their side.

Right but it grows back every 10 minutes at this time of year. Grow your ivy up something you 100% own that doesn't bother anyone else and where it can't invade anyone else's property if you like it that much! Accept that it bothers others and that you're being antisocial with it.

babyproblems · 19/07/2025 20:59

Ivy is ultra invasive and has caused structural damage to walls around our garden and property so yes I do agree with them tbh. It’s ultra invasive and once it roots inside a wall it’s nearly impossible to kill off. It will keep growing unless you remove the roots and then most of the stem. It will get into cracks and just regrow over and over if you don’t get rid of it so I would advise getting someone in if you can’t do it yourself x

Original poster
Peekaboooooo · 19/07/2025 20:59

It hasn't damaged the fence (which is our fence). It's never been out of control but we do like it there on our side. We love the green, coverage it create and the insects that enjoy it.
These neighbours have a bamboo plant that hangs over ours a bit and drops loads of leaves but it's not a big deal.

OP posts: