Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

[Peekaboooooo]

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

Me too, I have it covering my walls. Gorgeous stuff.

The trouble with ivy is that it destroys fences - and brick walls eventually. I love the look of it but won't have it in my garden for that reason.

@Peekaboooooo if they are generally nice and you get on well, I think you have to accept the ivy is more of a problem than you realise. They have tried several times to draw your attention to it, but you haven’t been that bothered as you think it’s unnecessary.

Ivy roots and shoots can travel up to 6m underground and pop up somewhere else in the right climate. But, I did give you an YANBU because I can see that your neighbours are being unkind to you and there are far more important things in life than a bit of Ivy coming over/under the fence.

Still, if I were you I’d remove the Ivy, poison it properly at the stump with a systemic herbicide so the root system dies properly. Then I’d plant something that won’t travel like Ivy - maybe even consult your neighbours as they are such keen gardeners. You have to pick your battles in life. You have enough to deal with. Is keeping your Ivy really worth having to deal with increasingly irate old people?

As you can see on this forum, if people hate Ivy, they REALLY hate Ivy and they will never let it go. It’s like the drivers who hate cyclists, or the people who hate children on planes. You will never win, no matter how much you trim your Ivy back.

When our neighbours started complaining incessantly about vegetation on our fence line we got a commercial trimmer to come once a year to trim everything to their liking just to get them off our backs and take ourselves out of the equation so it didn’t feel personal. Your Ivy risks becoming a fixation for all of your neighbours’ frustrations in their lives, which could spread, like the Ivy, onto other aspects of your lifestyle that they might find disagreeable - eg toy trucks left on your driveway, children laughing etc, etc. You probably won’t miss the Ivy much when it’s gone but they will get immense satisfaction from having ‘won’ their little battle. Let them. Rise above it.

I live next to people who use a dustpan and brush to make a massive deal about every single leaf that comes off my big oak tree so I feel your pain! Why they bought a house in a ‘leafy suburb’ I’ll never know. Some people are just better suited to new build life.

The thing with ivy is that you have to keep on top of controlling it. There might only be 10 leaves poking through, but there will soon be many, many, more. You can't just cut it back and that's it.

I think ivy is beautiful, and we loved the look of it in our garden when we were viewing it to buy the house. But when we moved in, we realised it was on the verge of pulling down the neighbours’ guttering. So one of the first things we did was get rid of it.

Or so we thought. It took four years to completely kill it. Shoots kept coming up - some of them really far away from where it had originally been growing. And that was with it fully contained in our own garden and everything above the soil gone. I’d have been very annoyed if it had kept coming back from a neighbour’s garden.

This looks good. I might try it. Thanks

Your post is ageist. What your neighbours do with their time is none of your business.

Ivy is awful. It's very invasive and fast growing. It can ruin fences and brickwork. Rats also use it as a means to access homes.

@Peekaboooooo Say you will destroy the Ivy. It’s not great for wildlife! But ask them to remove the bamboo. That’s invasive too! Anything overhanging your fence can be chopped off by you and the cuttings handed back to them. Bamboo is a poor garden choice too, unless it’s in a pot and the roots are contained.

This.

you want ivy - so keep it 100% on your side.

whols fence is it? If it is their responsibility to maintain then I would be much more forceful than your neighbours.

Learn to garden

There are some plants - ivy being one - that is totally invasive , takes hold, sending runners everywhere, and if it taken hold on face brick - say good bye to that - or at least need re pointing

If it was bindweed or Japanese knotweed coming into your garden , you too would be up in arms

Oh my god op are you my neighbour?!
only half joking as we haven’t said anything to next door but it’s already rotted one of our fence panels so we’ve replaced it and it’s now taking over the newer one - I’m out there often scraping it off, nasty stuff. It’s also attempting to grow over our brick building at the end of our garden. Dh found an offshoot sprouting on our lawn recently.
It’s very invasive and we are garden proud and hate it!
Next door are an older couple that prefer a more wild rambling garden which is totally their choice, very different to ours which is neat and orderly!! We just wish they’d maintain theirs a bit more, mainly so that whatever they plant is looked after ON THEIR BLOODY SIDE!

Ivy growing over from next door destroyed our garden shed. It's a gigantic pain in the arse. If you like the fence covered in green you could get rid of the ivy and plant a climbing hydrangea instead.

Ohhh I missed that the neighbours had bamboo growing. If that's not properly contained I would make a deal, they kill off their bamboo and you'll kill off your ivy. Both gardens could become overrun with ivy and bamboo. That sounds like an absolute nightmare

I love ivy. But moved into a detached house with 5 foot beautiful old stone walls on all sides. NDN had ivy along their side and we asked if they could keep it under control as it was bursting through to our side and pushing out stones in the wall. They told us they were not gardeners and how should they do it? They said that they did not like ivy. So we advised them to cut it back down to the roots. They would then have to pick off the ivy that had become invasive. We don't mind ivy at all but it has to be managed. Roll on 12 months and they had done nothing. The wall collapsed after a violet storm and they asked us to contribute to the cost of repair. No way. We got an arbitrator round who said that the wall have been seriously weakened by the ivy. That was the cause of the collapse. So NDN paid to have the wall rebuilt. Now 3 years on they have still not kept it under control. I pick at it occasionally on my side but I'm just waiting on the next storm to bring another part of the wall down.

@Summercocktailsgalore the fence is ours

I love ivy

Ivy is a massive PITA. You having SEN children is completely irrelevant here; Yabu.

This. It’s bloody awful and invasive and unless you find the source and kill it at the root if suffocates and kills your trees and trashes your brickwork.

Ivy is horrendous.

Over time ivy is very destructive of whatever it clings to. I used to love ivy, the way it created a green surface on boring brick or wooden fences....till I realised that it grows through the surface as well as on top of it causing loads of damage. Was considering viewing a house recently but when I saw it had ivy covering a lot of the front brickwork I wouldn't have touched it with a bargepole. I removed some from my outside brickwork many years ago, luckily before it penetrated the pointing, but marks the suckers left are still there.

Just cut the ivy to the root and keep maintaining it at that level weekly.

It their plants are bothering you, ask them to cut them back.

It is better to maintain a good relationship with neighbours.

@Flossflower it’s honestly brilliant. I had some coming through and it seems to break the bonds which stick to the fence and then they peel
off really easily x

My username has nothing to do with this thread I promise. 🤣

It sounds like you are doing your best to maintain it.
Some people just like to have something to moan about.