Neighbours causing such a fuss about ivy! Really?

[Peekaboooooo]

Our neighbours have told us about ivy coming over from our side onto their side at least 5 times in the last couple of months. They are a retired, active couple in their late 70s who maintain their garden well.
Firstly, the ivy was not that bad but we did what they asked and cut some back along the fence. Since then, our neighbour has asked again and has almost sounded a bit rude. He says he doesn't like ivy.
This morning he spoke to my husband again about it and this time my husband had to say that we like ivy and we'd like to keep it. Dh said we'd cut back a bit more but then that's it.
I've checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can't understand what the problem is. Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus they can't even see it because it's behind their shrubs and they can't see that part of the garden from their house. And, it's our fence!

What's really got to me is their attitude towards us. Our neighbour even called my husband lazy once which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with SEN) and lots of life stuff going on as most people do. Our house isn't perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbours but we do our best.

I kind of feel like we're being judged. Sometimes I've noticed our neighbour look up our driveway as he walks past and now I'm wondering what he's thinking.

AIBU or are our neighbours ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?

Such a shame because they've been fine for the most part of living here (nearly 4 years) and have been friendly up until now.

After 4 years I’m assuming the ivy has taken hold and could well be affecting your buildings structures
Get someone out to assess damage if any and be aware it can invalidate your building’s insurance ( and theirs obviously)
Speaking as someone who lived in a semi detached with a local councillor, who incidentally was a nightmare

Lots of people detest ivy, me included. My neighbours ivy is constantly invading through their fence and it tangles itself around my plants and bushes and strangles them. If it's growing up a wooden fence then it will eventually ruin it. I hate that I have to keep cutting back the neighbours ivy from my side and it's rooting itself in my garden too now, so I'll probably never be rid of it. If you could contain it in your garden then it would all be well and good, but ivy can't be controlled like that. It's invasive.

There's lots of interesting (and reassuring) information here that you might share with your neighbours: www.rhs.org.uk/prevention-protection/ivy-on-buildings

I'm on Team Ivy. It's great for pollinators and the berries are a great food source for birds.

Leaves dropping in the garden , is mildly annoying, could cut back branches once a year and prevent the majority of the mess easily enough. Ivy is invasive and destructive, constantly needing to be hacked back and pulled up to make sure it doesn't spread. Very different problems

Ivy is absolutely brilliant for wildlife - birds nest in it, bees feed on the flowers and birds eat the seeds. My fence is covered in ivy and it’s been up for a good 15 years.
Your neighbour cannot dictate what you grow in your garden.

It’s is a fairly common phenomenon though. When people are retired, they have fewer calls on their time and it’s common to spend a lot of time focussing on and enjoying their gardens. I remember when I was struggling with pregnancy sickness and had a toddler, a neighbour in his 70s started posting parts of plants/bushes through our letter box. He was clearly trying to make some sort of point, but the only point that I took from it was that he did indeed have too much time on his hands. We were busy and tired. If he wanted something, he should have said it, politely.

But you don’t care about the plants coming over to your side you said…and what is the point of your AIBU when you think you aren’t?

This.

It took me 10 trips to the t ip to dispose of a wooden trellis fence that had been completely rotted and consumed by ivy.

And this.

Song thrushes feed on slugs and snails and nest in ivy. These birds are very much in decline sadly.

Tbh I don’t think they be happy until you kill it. A house in our road had the price slashed by tens of thousands, it had been empty for a year and the ivy had grown into the brickwork, up into the loft, causing lots of damage.

I’m on a mission to kill it off round my property, apparently some types are worse than others.

Sap can be an irritant too

I had ivy for 20 years taking over my garden

No sign of thrushes

Yeah, yeah, they hate kids, they’re old and have nothing better to do than harass you about minor crap.

I’m peed off at my yet to move in neighbour’s ivy and brambles which have wrecked the dividing fence. I’m forever chopping both, neither are mine, they’re hugely invasive and creeping into my veg patch and going up my wall. I suggest you get control of it.

Ivy works its way through the slats in the fences and gradually breaks them apart and the weight pulls them down if it's allowed to gain too much bulk.

There are many, much more civilised plants to create habitats and food for wildlife than destructive ivy (and brambles)

Honestly I can see where they are coming from. I have plants growing through a fence from my neighbour’s garden and it really annoys me. They probably think I don’t care because my garden isn’t perfect anyway and it’s not my fence. But actually it annoys me MORE because I haven’t got a lot of time to keep cutting back someone else’s plants and it’s quite difficult to stop them when it’s not from my side. You shouldn’t be letting your plants grow through a shared fence.

I love ivy and have chosen to grow it in my garden, on the side that doesn’t impact neighbours.

You may not realise @Peekaboooooo that it’s nice and minimal on their side of the fence because they are regularly uprooting it and removing it. If they didn’t, it would invade their shrubs and be seriously hard to deal with. As it is, it’s an extra chore for them that they don’t want.

I have also had to remove it from a wall in a previous house, and one in this house, and it leaves it messy.

I sympathise, but think you’re wrong this time- or at least need to listen more carefully and work harder at making sure it isn’t invading from the bottom.

Fuck them op, they sound judgemental with too much time on their hands.
Looking down your drive and calling your relative lazy, cheeky bastards.

They can cut their side back if they feel that strongly.

They sound just like my neighbours who have zero awareness of anyone else’s challenges and think we all should spend 3 hours a day doing our gardens like they do… mine commented that my bins neatly lined up resembled “ the local council estate”! WTF!
I told them once and never again that I work full time, very long hours and have very limited time.

They brought legal action against our other neighbour by way of a solicitors letter regarding his hedge… his mother was dying in the local hospice so he didn’t cut it back for 2 months, you know, being with her for the last 3 weeks of her life then planning a funeral and to have her house sorted was not priority apparently.

Fuck them.

They aren't complaining about a dislike of their plants in general just the ivy, which will effect them when it starts invading their garden. I don't really care for gardening but I would be annoyed if a neighbour happily left an invasive plant to take over my garden. No one on here would be defending op about a bit of Japanese knotweed, or bamboo that is also notorious for invading. She could grow the ivy somewhere else in her garden away from neighbours and I imagine they wouldn't complain

Ivy is awful, it will take over given half the chance. Don't blame them for being concerned, you need to keep it cut back.

We will maintain it as best we can from now on as it's obviously getting to them. But it really wasn't bad in the first place. I'm not talking a large area. It's hard to describe be it's not an area they can even see. It's not near brickwork or anyone's house. They've got big shrubs that cover their side of the fence and the few bits that poked through have now been removed. Apart from a couple of random, odd leaves. We're not 'lazy' neighbours as he wants to label us. Yes we're very busy with children, family, work and lots of other things but we do care about out home and those around us. It seems like they would be happy to fall out with us over this by being rude. We've only ever been friendly to them. I just feel like they think we're the worst neighbours just because of this bit of ivy. We don't smoke, drink, have parties, loud barking dogs, any noisy DiY projects or hobbies (apart from 2 children lol). We look out for their house when they're away, my husband helped them when their house alarm system went wrong. I guess I feel upset because it's changed my perception of them, that they could be rude and unfriendly to us over this.

This

Our neighbours have ivy. I hate it. It grows like mad and it is destroying the fence and another neighbour's gutter and bits of their roof on their garage. Awful stuff. The fence is particularly annoying in that they are technically responsible for it but I know will never pay to replace it.