Fat bias exists

[Oldfatbrenda]

Over a year ago I posted as I couldn't find work. I was a size 20/22 and also in my 40s. I had head and shoulder interviews on teams and when they saw me in person it was a no. I felt like this was both age and weight bias.
One unpleasant woman who was clearly into her own looks and fashion, looked me up and down and when I left I heard her laughing. I'm convinced it was about me.
I was lucky and did get a way better job than that a few weeks later and at that point I had made the decision to try much harder to lose some significant weight.
I'm now a size 14/16 and I know without a doubt that people treat me differently. It's sad that many people are this way and look down on fat people as being lazy, having no willpower or that they will be too unhealthy to do their job.
Just for the record, I have had 1 sick day in over a year. Most of that time I was still technically obese.
Before this job search I did a bit of physical work in a hotel and yes it was bloody hard because of my size but I pulled my weight (sorry) almost more than the others to show I could and wasn't holding the team back. Yes I'd be dripping and have to go to bed when I got home but I was a model employee.
Anyway just wanted to come and say all that. I wasn't imagining it - but luckily there are still people who don't judge on looks and age. Thank the lord.
Anyone going through similar, don't give up. It will be harder but not impossible.

People tend to think that if someone is morbidly obese they don’t care about themselves, so why would they be a good employee?

You’ve proven you can lose weight, so you’ve kind of proven those people had a valid point if they thought you couldn’t be bothered previously…

LIf you're going to sit there and say "that's the easiest and most immediate way to think so I'll do it and I won't bother to try harder or be kinder", you're just another person giving in to an impulse that you could resist with a bit of effort, aren't you?

I think most people know that stereotypes aren't true and that they should try to get past them. I don't assume that most people are too stupid to understand that.

@Ernestina123 If I was employing someone as a receptionist I would discriminate based on appearance.

My friend was once unsuccessful in a job application. A few days later they got a call offering them the job after all . The manager told them the reason they were not appointed originally was because the person who got the job, but who then turned it down, was 'far more attractive'. There were no words then, but I can now think of a few: disgusting, shallow, and if not actually discriminatory - then prejudicial.

YANBU

I've been a size 16 and a size 8

The difference in behavior from others was shocking at both sizes

You know that loads of people carry their shit around with them, one way or another? For me it’s food, others exercise to the extreme, take drugs, drink too much, buy designer fashions they can’t afford…… I care very much about myself. But life has been hard and I struggle.

Try being fat and old....

You called yourself fat, but would you have been happy if someone else called you fat? I thought it was offensive to refer to someone as fat 🤷‍♀️

Yes, and there's plenty of 'My fat DH gives me the ick' on Mumsnet which kind of proves it.

Who else remembers Supersize V Super skinny ?

You are thinking people disbelieve stereotypes?
What is a stereotype? It’s a collective belief.
your logic is askew.

There are some negative factors on absenteeism that might be a consideration for employers People with obesity take more sick days – research

Exactly my experience. I have lost 5 stones using Mounjaro in the last 16 months and the difference in how some people treat me is astonishing. I dress the same just a smaller size, I act the same, I haven’t changed my hairstyle or my attitude towards life but honestly it’s as if a cloak of invisibility has been lifted off of me. Men I’ve worked alongside or in the same building as in particular have changed how they treat me.

I once knew a guy who worked in recruiting, back in the days where paper applications and paper CVs were still a thing, and he used to immediately shred any CV where the person described themselves as bubbly. His words, "bubbly just means fat, thick and loud".

Very much a thing!

Go back and read what I actually said.

Whilst I am certain that fat prejudice exists in amazed that anyone who is a size 16 would notice it unless they happened to work in a job where slimness was a required criteria or only hung out with models, that's a pretty normal size nowadays. In what situations did you experience that?

This really depends on your body type - how tall you are, how you carry your extra weight etc.

If I was size 16 I would be VERY fat.

What are you imagining I’m too stupid to have missed ?

It exists because a lot of people question the motivation of fat people. The thinking is

"if they're unable to take control of something as basic as the food they put in their mouth, how can they be trusted to take responsibility for more serious issues like business decisions"

There are lots of reasons for being overweight, but that reasoning is still very common.

I said "most people know stereotypes aren't true", not "people don't believe stereotypes". Of course some people believe stereotypes, but most people who I know, at any rate, know that they shouldn't make assumptions about people based on them.

Can't you go and bother someone else? I'm honestly not sure what you're looking for from me here.

Yes I’ve been both extremes and it’s shocking how differently I was treated, by both men and women. Men in a sexual/attracted sense so they were nicer, and women in a respect/want to be associated with me sense. Interestingly though other women who were normally nice to me as a big woman viewed me with suspicion once I was slim so it works both ways.

I’m 5ft 7 so size 16 was fine on me but saw the difference in treatment when I was much bigger.

Oh you’ve resorted to belittling me. Looks a bit as though you are conforming to the stereotype of a curt rude poster on the internet sighing over the fact that they are so patently correct, and not receiving the recognition they deserve?

I’ve noticed a difference in how I’m treated and spoken to by strangers since gaining weight after having DC2. I find I’m often patronised far more but strangely this extends beyond things related to weight such as health and fitness. I’d understand if one assumed I lacked knowledge about healthy food, for instance, but this applies to so many other things, including parenting.

Definitely a thing. Our brains will associate obesity with poor fitness, greed, inactivity, and poor self-discipline, possibly low intelligence, but comedic and fun, and may also subconsciously factor in space taken up. Film, TV, comics, novels for decades have introduced and reinforced this with characterisation of 'the fat one' in almost every storyline.

Good hirers will recognise any ingrained bias they have and instead interview an overweight candidate objectively. I'd like to think I would.

"No, Carter, I can't stop bothering you"