Fat bias exists

[Oldfatbrenda]

Over a year ago I posted as I couldn't find work. I was a size 20/22 and also in my 40s. I had head and shoulder interviews on teams and when they saw me in person it was a no. I felt like this was both age and weight bias.
One unpleasant woman who was clearly into her own looks and fashion, looked me up and down and when I left I heard her laughing. I'm convinced it was about me.
I was lucky and did get a way better job than that a few weeks later and at that point I had made the decision to try much harder to lose some significant weight.
I'm now a size 14/16 and I know without a doubt that people treat me differently. It's sad that many people are this way and look down on fat people as being lazy, having no willpower or that they will be too unhealthy to do their job.
Just for the record, I have had 1 sick day in over a year. Most of that time I was still technically obese.
Before this job search I did a bit of physical work in a hotel and yes it was bloody hard because of my size but I pulled my weight (sorry) almost more than the others to show I could and wasn't holding the team back. Yes I'd be dripping and have to go to bed when I got home but I was a model employee.
Anyway just wanted to come and say all that. I wasn't imagining it - but luckily there are still people who don't judge on looks and age. Thank the lord.
Anyone going through similar, don't give up. It will be harder but not impossible.

This is true but some judgements are more damaging than others...

You could also infer that someone is overweight because they put all the hours in and don't have time to eat properly and exercise. I know a lot of lawyers and senior business people in this category. And when you get more senior you tend to get paid to eat and drink at dinners and other events too.

Or that someone who is in really good shape won't be spending as much time at their work as they would rather be working out.

Agree and many people who work shifts are over weight and it is well known that disruption to sleep patterns is a factor in weight gain and diabetes.

Pretty privilege, thin privilege, white privilege are all things that exist. Definitely.

Accents - you rarely hear an accent on the BBC that isn’t rp, Scottish or Welsh. It is because people are biased in favour.

That said, I’d be surprised if the woman was laughing at you. I’m honestly not doubting that she might’ve been biased OP - but I’m not sure why she’d find your size amusing as such.

100% I’m sorry you have dealt with similar things to me ! I have PCOS & at 36 I had a hysterectomy for other reasons not weight related, I struggle with my weight especially round my middle, numerous times I have been asked if I’m pregnant or told congratulations (love their face when I say I’m not). In my last job I had 1/2 day sick leave in 19 yrs, my current job in 2 yrs, 2 days for Covid, I work harder & faster than many of my colleagues. I go to Zumba, weight training & I’ve now started on mounjaro but it’s still not enough for ‘other people’. I go into London for work occasionally & people are extremely rude on public transport or just look at me like I’m a completely worthless & a bit of dirt. I’m considering a gastric sleeve to try & fit in with society as I’m fed up of feeling like I’m not accepted!

Exactly, this is part of the prejudice - so many other things are acknowledged as 'just how it is' - eg. baldness, height, when you go grey etc. But metabolism? So many people think that's different.

I'm on mounjaro. Do you know how easy it is to lose weight/not eat too much when your body tells you it's full? It's a walk in the park.

I've spoken to slimmer friends, and this is how they feel all the time - sometimes they just don't want to eat, and when they've had enough food, their body feeds back that they're full. That's why they're slim, because they have that feedback.

My whole life I didn't have that feedback. I had to hand-monitor everything that went into my body, balance it against what exercise I'd done, and hope that I got it right. Now I have that feedback, and it's easy. I've gone from always being able to eat, to only eating as much as my body tells me it needs.

I believe you, and of course it's wrong. So strange, though. Size 20-22 obviously is overweight, but unless you're quite short, it really isn't so big that you'd stand out. Not that it would be acceptable to discriminate if if you did, of course, but it's really not a size that would make most people look twice these days.

It absolutely does exist. I do think however, it depends on the job in hand. I would not employ a very overweight person to look after small children or a very physically demanding job as they would not be able to do that job as easy as a smaller person. That is just fact. In a job that did not demand agility and physical exertion, I would have no problem employing someone regardless of their weight. It would never be about how someone looks and always about their ability to do the job efficiently and with ease.

It does exist- for various reasons.

some people don’t want to become obese and many are afraid of it - so distance themselves. It is crap but true.

they think you would tempt them with food and treats and make it harder for them to resist and stick to their plan

other people may just not want to share a small place with someone who is bigger and take up more of the allotted area / assume over weight means other unpleasant things such as body odor

others may feel it is a sign someone is lazy etc

it is crap, but it does happen.

Are you quite sure most people think that, though? Isn’t it just “ toe the line in public and think what you want in private”?

Fat biased is all there. I’ve been slim, obese and now I’m over weight, and I can without a shadow of a doubt tell you that I have more opportunities, friendships, people would talk to me, involve me in stuff when I’m slim, even overweight, but as soon as I was obese I simply just disappeared. Now I’m losing weight again all of a sudden I seem to exist again

You hardly hear an accent on BBC that isn’t Scottish or Welsh? Absolute rubbish!

2 years ago I would have disagreed. I have lost 6 stone in that time, now I am no longer obese or overweight, I have noticed peoples attitudes to me have changed.

Well done on your weight loss!

Cool, so then all smokers should be forced to declare it as they too lack willpower.

You can have a vice that you can't shake still be good at your job.

Size 20-22 obviously is overweight, but unless you're quite short, it really isn't so big that you'd stand out

You might not stand out as such but there's no denying that a size 20-22 is really big.

It’s naive to think that it doesn’t exist. Course it does.

It's honest and although people on here will say they don't think like that, most do.

And to pick up on another point, of course weight loss is down to willpower. What else is it down to? You eat less and exercise more. Easy to say (type), much less easy to do.

The reason weight drugs work is precisely because you don't need willpower, you just need to take the drugs.

It's because people believe that no one would want to be fat so barring obvious physical ailments, it is lazy to not do something about it and lose the weight.

The bit I don't understand is why people think size should affect intelligence. I have been very slim and bigger (although not huge) at various times. I remember telling people my educational qualifications when I was big and getting surprised responses, even raised eyebrows. That doesn't happen when I'm slim. I've even tested people's responses on purpose when I started realising this is a 'thing' and there's no doubt it happens.

I think the issue is not only about potential health problems, but how someone very fat lacks self control and the discipline to take care of their health.
It shows (rightly or wrongly) a 'can't be bothered' mindset.

Of course it doesn't always affect your ability to do a job but I wouldn't want someone who smoked working on my reception. Customers/visitors would smell it a mile off. It's not just about ability to do the job, it's about visitor perception.

If you work in a call centre and have a good way with customers nobody cares how you look or if you smoke.

And if you work as cabin crew on a plane it's about looking good but also not being too big to fit down an aisle easily. So there can be practical concerns as well.

I am really surprised that people would treat you so differently in this case as size 16 isn't that big or at all unusual (I think it is the average size for a woman in the UK).

Bias against large people does exist and it’s appalling. @ExquisiteSocialSkills

I wonder if this explains my situation
I'm talll 5*11) and feel invisible , eg ignored in groups, overlooked at counters when waiting to be served.
It's been such a common occurrence that I've learnt to be pushy to make sure I get seen and served.

It's actually so ridiculous as I'm usually the tallest woman and sometimes person in any room, oow can they not see me??

Indeed. Work has definitely made me overweight over the years. I put a stone and a half on as a trainee solicitor. Managed to lose it before I got married after I qualified. Then put weight on in pregnancy. Lost most of the baby weight on mat leave and got down to a nice healthy weight. Then when I came back I went through a horrible stressful time in a new job that was a poor fit. Put a stone back on with stress and unhappiness, and then another half a stone. Got just about back to normal BMI before I got pregnant DD2. Then after having her I've been BMI 27-29 for 16 years, losing the same stone and putting it back on again most years apart from one time I went up into the obese range. But in lockdown I got down to BMI 25 briefly - put it back on again and I've just got back from.BMI 29 to 25 on mounjaro. A lot of it is work stress and busyness related. Determined this time to never put myself/my health on the back burner again and not to put all the weight back on (losing a bit more first). But I think when I retire I'll be like a whippet! I naturally want to be active and eat lovely healthy food and work/life sometimes gets in the way of that. Less so with my job now and now DDs are grown or nearly.

Wait until you hit 50 and start experiencing ageism. That was the largest demographic disappearing from the workforce after Covid.