Ex’s friends and family spying on me on Facebook

[Doolallyally]

Separated from ex recently and I’ll be moving out soon. Ex has been receiving screen shots and messages about my Facebook posts - one was when I took our youngest out for food (She’s up to something!) another was taking our teen out for the day on a very hot day (she shouldn’t be taking him out in that heat!)

the latest - I shared a photo of a new book - Women Living Deliciously - it’s a great book and I shared inspirational quotes from it - feminist stuff about living your best life and respecting boundaries etc. I am leaving due to emotional abuse and found the statements powerful and positive. Ex’s friend screen shotted my post saying WTF! and how insensitive I was being? To me the book is hugely inspiring especially how much crap I have put up with and how I’m trying to lose my people pleasing ways! Was I insensitive and rude considering I’m moving out very soon? I did not intend it to be passive aggressive. I’m the one who ended the marriage. Thanks.

Change your privacy setting so that they can't see, block anyone you don't wish contact with or don't trust any more.

Stop posting mundane pictures of your life if you don't want people to see ...

Unfriend those people and check your privacy settings - post what you like

Stop sharing stuff on social media.

Send your inspirational quotes to your friends on WhatsApp if you want to share them privately.

Doing so on a public platform is obviously going to draw attention - that’s why people post things on public platforms.

Was I being insensitive with the book post? I’ll check my privacy settings and watch who can see my stuff. I didn’t really want to unfriend all of his friends as some were mutual but I’ll be more careful.

De-friend those reporting back.

Stop with the inspirational quotes and hints of emotional abuse.

Why are you sharing all this stuff with his friends - or even on Facebook in general?

It honestly makes me cringe a bit when people post all this kind of stuff for the world to see.

They are still on my friends list and some were mutual friends.

Keep that kind of stuff away from social media. There’s no need for it, especially when you know his friends can see it.

Change your audience for the posts you don’t want them to see. It’s pretty easy to do.

If you're posting quotes about respecting boundaries and your relationship has ended then yes. People would rather not see that and its oversharing.

What issues you have had in your marriage (and I hope you recover from the ea) do not need to be hinted at on your FB posts.

Absolutely not!

They are just angry you got out!

Keep sharing inspirational quotes to piss them off even more!

Don’t share shit on FB. Nobody who genuinely cares about you is looking on there for information about your life. They’re calling you and asking you in person.

Wtf. If I had a friend leaving an emotionally abusive man I would absolutely want to see her posts on social media! I would be her biggest cheer leader.

Do you not like your friends or something?

I agree with this - if he's getting upset - who the fuck cares.

I'm not keen on airing laundry on social media, but its YOUR social media, and YOU can post whatever the fuck you want to

Remove them. Not your circus and not your monkeys anymore.

I wouldn’t say it was dirty laundry-I don’t agree with airing dirty laundry on Facebook either.

An example of a quote -
“Design a life that is deliciously yours!”

or

“Your boundaries aren’t supposed to be convenient”

And

“You are worth the fucking effort it takes to create a life you are excited to wake up to”

With beautiful artwork - I didn’t intend to offend him or anyone else.

If you want a digital reminder of what you’re currently going through, post on FB so that you are the only person who can see it. In a year or whatever, you’ll see a reminder of that post which will hopefully make you feel great about how far you’ve come.
You can post what you like but if the split was unexpected or your ex is spinning another narrative then people will look at your SM for clues about what’s going on. For example they may be looking for a new man to match a cheating narrative or bad mum stories to match an abusive mum narrative.

I wonder if they just think it’s a bit embarrassing to be sharing that kind of stuff on social media 😬

I’m sure someone will shoot me down for it but I have a friend who shares this kind of stuff and it just makes me cringe for her.

The best revenge is living your best life - you don’t need to share “inspirational quotes” with all and sundry to show you’ve moved on.

If you don’t want to unfriend them,hide your posts from them . No. You were not being insensitive, and post whatever you like . It’s your timeline . Don’t listen to people who say stop posting . What’s it to them . Whoever doesn’t like it can scroll on by .

@nomasI would pick up the phone to my friends. Them me. I don't need all of my FB friends to share in/judge my breakup.

By oversharing the OP is just making life far more difficult for herself.

Definitely trim the friends list (do you know the trouble maker snitching on you?) and if your kids are old enough to be in SM, ask that they don’t post photos of you or discuss you because they will be monitoring that too.

I have my posts set up as friends only and then I can remove people from seeing thing. So I removed my brother for a post about something awesome I had bought at Christmas as it was his present.

Change your privacy settings.

Go through your friends list.

Stop posting for a while.

Ex is using your posts to cause conflict. Take that away from him.

It’s not spying if you’re publishing details of your life online