Ex’s friends and family spying on me on Facebook

[Doolallyally]

Separated from ex recently and I’ll be moving out soon. Ex has been receiving screen shots and messages about my Facebook posts - one was when I took our youngest out for food (She’s up to something!) another was taking our teen out for the day on a very hot day (she shouldn’t be taking him out in that heat!)

the latest - I shared a photo of a new book - Women Living Deliciously - it’s a great book and I shared inspirational quotes from it - feminist stuff about living your best life and respecting boundaries etc. I am leaving due to emotional abuse and found the statements powerful and positive. Ex’s friend screen shotted my post saying WTF! and how insensitive I was being? To me the book is hugely inspiring especially how much crap I have put up with and how I’m trying to lose my people pleasing ways! Was I insensitive and rude considering I’m moving out very soon? I did not intend it to be passive aggressive. I’m the one who ended the marriage. Thanks.

It’s your social media and you can post whatever you want on it. But sharing these quotes on Facebook, to an audience that includes people who are still friends with your ex, especially when you already know somebody is reporting back to him, wasn’t a great idea and does feel a little pointed.

The people taking screenshots and sending them to your ex aren’t your friends, they’re his. If you intend to continue sharing like this, I’d suggest removing them from your friends list, or at the very least changing your settings so they no longer see your posts. These people don’t need this amount of detail about your life.

She can post what she likes, but when you put stuff out there for anyone to see, you have to accept that people will share it, or judge it, or criticise it. Nothing on the internet is private.

this

Also. You can set your audience for your posts... and can restrict what certain people see... Google it for a step by step guide.
You should definitely restrict posts to his friends and probably most of the mutual friends and definitely your ex MIL.

Who is commenting on your outings with the kids? None of their damn business, and don't let trivial complaints about that put you off doing what you want to do together, but yes. I would stop posting stuff like this and just send privately to real friends.
Best of luck.

Come on now. People will comment on your stuff and once it’s on the internet you can’t stop people sharing. Get rid of these people and don’t post if you don’t want people commenting. Some people will always make a fuss and share a view yoy could never have anticipated.

They're not "spying" on you. They are reading the content that you post.

Life your best life and make them wonder. Failing that have a massive social media clear out and lock down your profiles.

They aren't mutual friends if they are reporting back to your ex.

Saying that, posting inspirational quotes is a bit cringe.

If they're so affronted by your Facebook posts then they should remove themselves, not carry tales like 6 year olds.

Tighten up your profile or open a new facebook account with a different name, and only have facebook 'friends' you can trust so that nobody else can see any of your posts.

Thaat does work.

Who was it that said you're up to something, and that a teenager can't go outside on a warm day?

If someone forwarded me posts about someone's day to day life I would think they were an absolute freak.

It's your SM, not anyone else's - who cares if they find it cringe-worthy? I admit i do - my sibling shares stuff like this 'living my best life because blah blah blah' - but its her SM so she can post what she likes!

Honestly, it does look like you want drama if you’re posting stuff like this on Facebook (also FACEBOOK!).

Oh OP - how frustrating! Someone is definitely not a friend of yours if they’re taking screenshots of your posts and sharing with your ex.

I’d be tempted to go all Wagatha Christie - restricting posts until you know who it is.

If you seek attention posting on FB surely you can't complain when you get it?

They definitely aren’t your friends if they are screenshotting your posts and sharing them. Remove them

Block them.

Change your settings on Facebook from public to friends. That way only people who are YOUR FB friends can see most of your posts. Just tap your profile picture and go through your privacy settings.

You can set groups post to friends except Bob and Jim

If it’s on social media it’s there for sharing, it’s the nature of social media and why I do not have it anymore. When I was on it people were sharing my photos with estranged family members.
Social media is a stalkers paradise, if you don’t want to be watched and your posts shared and repeated, don’t use it.

Any 'mutual friend' that was sharing my stuff with the ex and his family is not a friend at all.

You need to unfriend on social media, lock down your privacy settings and not post anything even remotely negative about your ex. It will be used against you, or at the very least lead to acrimony. It's not worth it, seriously.

Change your settings to only friends can see anything even your friends list can only be seen by other friends.
You're making it an issue that doesn't need to be.
If they are sharing your stuff, they aren't your friends are they.

They aren't your friends if they're sending screenshots of your social media posts to your ex partner. You might think they are, but unfortunately they aren't.

Just block them all and set your account to private.

No.
You don't have mutual friends.
You have your friends.
And then he has his friends, that are no longer your friends.
He is an ex for a reason.
Everything about him is gone from your life.
Embrace that.

I agree.

Plus anyone that is posting that sort of thing generally goes down by me as:

1. Protesting too much
2. Being passive aggressive
3. And more likely to be the issue than people round them.