I had a girl's night in on fri, all planned, I was just doing pizza and easy buffet stuff, snacks and wine. My friends asked what should they bring, I said nothing, told them what I was planning, they were happy with that. The one kept on asking what she should bring, so I said oh just bring a bottle of wine.
Now, if I'm going somewhere and ask what to take and somebody says nothing, i still take a bottle out of politeness anyway, so couldn't really figure out why she kept asking.
Anyway, she turned up with 2 bottles of wine, big bunch of flowers, olives, garlic bread, kettle chips, quiche, fancy nuts and lemon tart. oh, and a prezzie for DS - trendy outfit from Next. My other friend brought a bottle of pinot grigio - fab.
Lovely and generous of my friend to bring all this stuff, but it meant that the stuff I'd got in didn't all get eaten, I felt like the eve was taken out of my control - it was my first girlie night in I'd hosted since having DS ( he's 15mo, but I've not managed it till now!) and I'd planned it all and was looking forward to actually being the hostess! as it was, she opened the stuff she'd bought, so thanking her and putting it to one side whilst I served up my stuff wasn't an option.
DH has calmed me down by making me see it's not that she thinks I'm not capable of hosting anything - she would just do this wherever she went, - but just like it can be rude to turn up empty handed, AIBU to think it's also starting to be rude to turn up with so much stuff OTT???