To think that trauma is now a status symbol?

[DearExpert]

It used to be something private. Now it’s a badge of honour - the more complex your trauma, the more valid your opinion. It’s like pain is currency in online spaces. And some people are overdrawing.

A lot of things that used to be private are now shared all over social media by some people. I guess they're chasing validation and that's a very human thing. Agree that it does bring out some people's competitive streak and that can be unpleasant and unhelpful

Well yeah for some people - but it’s like a pendulum isn’t it - we used to bury it and treat it as shameful, which is terrible, now trauma is an overused word and can be a bit of a competition.

It will settle down.

In the meantime, curate your feeds.

Yup. I agree OP.

It's like people don't feel they actually exist unless they've got considerable drama going on.

You'll get lots of people with genuine trauma taking this personally and telling you you're "disgusting" or something.

YABVU and frankly weird.

Totally agree OP.

I guess I do disagree with you. I think people are seeing others open up about their trauma and most post online about it to show awareness and share their story.

Trauma is also really subjective. Someone can find something traumatic but it might not be as “bad” as someone else’s. It doesn’t make it less valid.

Adding to my comment, you must still think everyone should keep their trauma private? I don’t like this attitude, of course if you do not wish to talk about it publicly- absolutely fine! But why should someone keep quiet about a awful time they went through,

You don’t get to say how others deal with or talk about their trauma. It’s individual. Either be supportive or say nothing.

I think so too. I have trauma and have just been diagnosed with PTSD. I closed all my social media down because I can't face it or people in general. On a daily basis, I talk to my DD, AI and my therapist once a week. The last thing I want to do is shout from the rooftops because I am liable to burst into tears.

Trauma is also really subjective. Someone can find something traumatic but it might not be as “bad” as someone else’s. It doesn’t make it less valid
I think it does in some cases make it less valid. Some 'traumad' could be labeled as a 'complete lack of resilience'. I don't think these are valid. It doesn't help them and helps even less others.

Please do enlighten us further as to what constitutes trauma versus lack of resilience.....

As someone with cptsd i kind of agree. Nobody around me knows about this diagnosis apart from people who need to know my gp, cmht and the crisis team. I suffered years of csa until I was taken in to care. And its really insulting when people throw around the word trauma. I fully appreciate trauma can mean different things to different people but come on if some one is posting about how traumatised they are because their parents shouted at them once. Its like everything at the minute and I blame social media. Everyone's ex is a narcissist. Everyone is gaslighting everyone. Everyone is depressed and has anxiety. Everyone is ND. People who really struggle dont constantly post about it. Iv seen people who reckon they are in a crisis set up a camera and call 999 and then rufuse to be helped then post it they will do this weekly. Iv been in a crisis a few times and its never entered my head to get out my phone record it and then post it to social media. Its the same with self harm people use to do it where it could be hidden now everyone is walking round with cut foreheads so everyone can see

Totally agree

You don’t get to say what people post on an open forum. If you don’t like it, scroll on 🙂

I don't find this at all with family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances and I don't see it online either. If you look for this stuff online you'll find it though, but then it will also find you. It's your judgement that is skewed.

Oh the irony 😂 but thanks for proving my point

People can tell people or not. Obviously that's up to them. And it can help others who are going through similar to hear of experiences if others BUT I also think it can go a bit far. For example I've suffered miscarriages and infertility/ multiple IVF rounds. If someone wants to share their experience of this that's absolutely fine. But I do feel the amount of praise they get for their "bravery" almost makes me feel like there is some sort of pressure for me to share my experience. Which I don't want to do. And that's ok too. But I do (personally) feel as though some people feel we have a moral obligation to do so. And I'm a private person.

And obviously you will read a lot about it on sites like this as often people come for support when they can't talk about it in real life.

I think you are being unreasonable. It’s really sad when you hear elderly people recounting how their husbands were so damaged by the war, they never spoke about it again. Reading about those who had their children taken from them in unmarried mothers’ homes, hearing tales of childhood abuse in children’s homes.
If people don’t talk about trauma, we can never write the wrongs and put measures in place to try to make things preventable. For some people, they feel more comfortable not sharing. But others NEED to talk about it, need to feel they are turning their pain into action.

Im the queen of trauma.
But i dont bang on about it or plaster it on line.

i dont think its a status symbol, more of a replacement for a personality in some.

I think alos people who bang on about their trauma, haven't had genuine trauma, more trauma like they got a flat tire or boyfriend dumped them.

Some people have never known life before social media, they got bebo as kids and this where the over sharing started and because they were teenagers they had no filter, and now here we are fighting for attention on the Internet for validation. I don't really know what we can do really maybe ignore them im sure it will eventually implode.

That is true but some people make a big drama over nothing and others will say they are tramatized because some one said something that upset them.
The real victims are being lumped in with the drama lamas and grief vampires an
we ALL know at least one of those.
Some victims may be scared to speak out because someone else will say "Oh that's nothing, this happened to me" A bit like a poster on here who was thinking about writing a book about 'her crazy life' as experienced in varying forms my MNers, myself and millions of others.

I can assure you that absolutely no one regards being raped when they were ten as a 'badge of honour'. Or goes about chatting about it at parties or teambuilding icebreakers.

Please do enlighten us further as to what constitutes trauma versus lack of resilience
It's usually defined by societal considerations. Just like what is considered appropriate to wear in an office, what is acceptable demonstration of affection in public, what is acceptable behaviours in a restaurant etc...

An example for me? A colleague who says she was traumatised by Covid. She was not at risk, not was her direct family. She didn't have any children. She refused to come to the office when it was requested. She made so much more fuss than colleagues who were at risk. I defined it as anxiety that she needed help to work through. She called it trauma.