It's a bit of a stupid point because as I said clinical depression CAN follow grieving or be part of the process. And "comparing" grief is an awful lot of the problem in terms of how people go through that process.
Sudden unexpected death is traumatic, whether it's witnessed or not. Expected death is traumatic, there may be months or even years of anticipatory grief. There shouldn't be any hierarchy of grief, and there shouldn't be the rush to suggest that trauma caused by bereavement shows a lack of resilience if people struggle.
I can't imagine losing a child and my heart breaks for the poster upthread who is dealing with that in her own way. She deserves nothing but respect and compassion.
As other posters have said previous life experiences inform how one deals with the next hammer blow, and the next and the next.
The idea that people are using trauma as a badge of honour is a nice and easy way to dismiss and invalidate people, can cause people to become isolated and at higher risk of their trauma being compounded due to losing touch with their normal life.
On a personal note I am embarrassed by having a cascade of things go on in my life, aside from bereavement, that do qualify, objectively as traumatic, because there's a feeling of Jonah or Typhoid Mary that creeps in.
When you haven't seen someone for a while, and every answer you give to "how are you doing" or "been up to much" and you find yourself lying, and saying everything is fine, and deflecting the conversation back to the other person because you've absorbed the message that no-one needs to hear about the latest calamity, and then you hear that well, she must be a bit cold and unbothered by her husband's death because she barely mentioned it, you realise you cannot win.
Trauma can be a singular event or an accumulation of events. CPTSD has alot to do with prolonged periods of having no control or agency, being in an oppressive situation and living in a constant state of fight or flight. Trauma rewires the brain, causes physiological changes and can trigger physical ill health.
I've looked into all this alot because I believe knowledge is power, and while understanding why I obsessively check for risks when I leave the house, it only mitigates it so much because my trauma has left me convinced that I will have everything taken from me, that's what I deserve, and it's my own fault.
And as a PP said, people who allegedly fake trauma, have a problem of their own as well, and I would agree it's exacerbated by modern life and social media to an extent. But snap judgements about what qualifies as trauma, and whose is genuine, and that those speaking about it are attention seekers grind my gears.