To get irrationally angry at train behaviour

[MisanthropeLikely]

I'm not an angry person, but I'm thinking I might be becoming a Victor Meldrew when travelling. Particularly by train. Particularly long distance. Specific behaviour that enrages me:

1. People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains

1. People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it

1. People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass.

1. People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off

1. Men who manspread into the aisle

1. People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move.

1. Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together

1. People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting

1. Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones

10. Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags.

11. People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train.

I get irrationally angry about this stuff. My worst ever experiences were:

I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal.

Another time I was boarding a eurostar in an intense heatwave after a huge delay. It was roasting, I'd been standing at the gate for two solid hours in menopause sweats with a load of heavy bags. They started boarding. It's about 29 steps down to the platform, and a ramp os provided for people with luggage. The attendant was at the top of the ramp telling everyone who did not have luggage to take the stairs.

Anyway, there I am struggling to keep ny heavy suitcase from rolling right down the ramp and taking me with it, and some woman with no luggage at all aside from her small handbag decided to walk down the luggage ramp and overtake everyone on the inside. As there was no space, she moved her legs into my suitcase and then shouted at me "YOUR SUITCASE IS ON MY LEGS, WHY DONT YOU WATCH WHERE YIUR GOING"

I flushed bright red and said "I'm going downhill with a heavy bag I can barely control, multiple other bags and you walked into me trying to overtske", she turned and sniggered at me. A real deep, patronising snigger.

I still hold a grudge a year later.

Does anyone else experience these feelings or is it just me? I am petrified of flying so travel extensively by rail and I am at a point where I don't enjoy travelling because I feel so irrationally cross at inconsiderate and rude people.

Anyone else?

Oh god, I politely asked a man to not manspred into the aisle (as he was infringing into my space, he was sat across from me) and he called me a wanker and walked off.

People who sit in MY reserved seat. Then expect me to find another seat because they can't be bothered to move.
No. I am not playing musical chairs. That's my seat. You go and find another one.

YABU about spreading into the aisles. I'm 5ft10. I can't fit into a standard seat. Therefore one leg has to drift into the aisle. Sorry.

It's not irrational anger op, it's perfectly justified. I commute to work 2 days a week and it gives me the absolute rage. And that's quite aside from all the delays and cancellations.

I've actually started gravitating towards the double seats on which a passenger puts their bag to mark their territory and very deliberately asking them to move it. This is despite there being other double seats with just one passenger sitting down, and no bag present, in the rest of the carriage.

Is it only me who gets irate when the person sitting next to me (if they're on an aisle seat) doesn't move into empty doubles once other people get off? My stop is the end of the line, so when alternative seats become available, I expect the person wedging me in to move to an empty double.

Have you ever tried actually doing it though? It's such a faff and barely worth the effort in most cases, because the delay repay policies are minimal. E.g. if your train is cancelled, they will work out when the next available one is (say 20 mins) and therefore say you were only delayed by 20 mins so get a few quid off only. It doesn't matter to them that you've missed the start of a meeting, for example. And if you take advantage of a split ticket fare, then delay repay is almost impossible to navigate.

Our trains are among the most expensive and least reliable in Europe.

My train was an hour late a couple of weeks ago, DH had sorted the refund before I was even on the bus, let alone to my destination. Took 2 minutes. (LNER). The train guard had announced it and that we were entitled to a 100%refund

I've claimed for delays and cancelled trains and found it very quick with National Rail.

All of the above but can I add my pet Four Stranger Fever, or folie a quatre?

Those tables. They're so great when travelling with kids or friends, it's like home from home. But dear god, the people who insist on sitting there studiously avoiding eye, thigh or ankle contact with three complete strangers in order to occupy their BOOKED SEATS in an otherwise barely inhabited carriage blow my mind.

You could have a two seat all to yourself! And your own fold down table! Madness and so very British.

I'm talking East Coast mainline here, not commuter journeys obviously.

That's really good. I think LNER are possibly a positive outlier (and rarely delayed/ cancelled anyway). I've tried the same on Thameslink/ Great Northern and received a pittance.

If someone has booked that seat and they want to sit in that seat then I'm not sure why your opinion trumps that?

I did a day trip of 3.5 hours each way a few weeks ago, pre booked seats. Both were seats on the tables. Trains were busy. Not many, if any spare seats for the entirety of my journey.
I was sitting in one seat, not taking up the whole table, and I would have swapped to the another one opposite, behind in front if a family or group who had also pre booked seats were split up and they had 3 seats together and one separate, but I'm not giving up my pre booked and allocated seat and trawling a busy train for a spare seat or standing when I've got an allocated seat.

Maybe it varies by train operator, but I've done this with LNER and West Midlands, and have got 100% back for cancelled trains. Partial refunds only for trains that are delayed, obviously, which goes up in increments of I think 20 minutes or half an hour.

This is why I always swerve the table seats in favour of a 2-seater - much more leg room!

It depends on the specific train operator's delay repay policy. And if you regularly use trains to commute (as opposed to the odd journey) it's a balls ache, particularly if you have a non standard ticket such as flexi season or split fare.

I find it a bit claustrophobic to sit in an airline style seat. If I have the option of a table, I'd rather do that, even if it means sharing with a full table.

I’ve never known any one ‘ostentatiously’ poo on a train. The doors are usually kept closed. 🤣

It varies by train operator. LNER is, in my experience far superior (but expensive).

Virgin is now Avanti and they do it automatically if you sign up for their Delay repay service.

GWR train managers will generally announce when passengers are eligible for DelayRepay

crossCountry don’t tell you. Yet I have travelled all over the UK on the DelayRepay vouchers I get from them.

I was 7months pregnant and getting a train for a 4hr journey. Had deliberately reserved a seat so I wouldn't have to stand for any part of it. Had to ask someone to move from my (clearly marked) seat. There weren't any other seats available in the carriage and they had to stand, but they tried to convince me first that since they were already settled in, then it made more sense for me to remain standing. They did eventually move, but spent the next 40 mins staring/ glaring at me until they got off at their station.

Also manspreading due disability:
My BF and also a elderly neighbour of mine but have to manspread on buses or trains. Neighbour has wonky hips and physically can't close his legs. BF has right leg shorter than the other, often wears a titanium leg brace and is has a unusually shaped torso & abdomen. If there was room to stretch his legs out unbent he'd be fine, but few transport seatings provide that. He sits with right knee slightly in the aisle when he can, with a pole handy on the buses to help stand up.

Otherwise spot on with your peeves.

I can't use the airline seats with a laptop. Even though it's only small the flippy down trays are crap and there is no space to put my phone either.

I was a commuter with a season ticket and it was easy peasy with NR. I never claimed to speak for other operators.

People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains AGREE

People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it DISAGREE. THERE ARE VALID REASONS PEOPLE MIGHT DO THIS

People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass. AGREE

People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off MAYBE AGREE BUT THEY MAY HAVE A TIGHT CONNECTION

Men who manspread into the aisle INTO THE AISLE? I AM NEUTRAL

People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move. AGREE

Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together AGREE

People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting DISAGREE. I DOUBT ANYONE IS SAVING A POONAMI FOR THE TRAIN. THEY MUST JUST HAVE HAD TO GO

Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones AGREE

Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags. AGREE

People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train. AGREE

I get irrationally angry about this stuff. My worst ever experiences were:
I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal. GRRRRR. I HOPE YOU TOLD HIM TO FUCKING MOVE OR SAT DOWN AND SHOVED HIS STUFF OVER

Another time I was boarding a eurostar in an intense heatwave after a huge delay. It was roasting, I'd been standing at the gate for two solid hours in menopause sweats with a load of heavy bags. They started boarding. It's about 29 steps down to the platform, and a ramp is provided for people with luggage. The attendant was at the top of the ramp telling everyone who did not have luggage to take the stairs.
Anyway, there I am struggling to keep ny heavy suitcase from rolling right down the ramp and taking me with it, and some woman with no luggage at all aside from her small handbag decided to walk down the luggage ramp and overtake everyone on the inside. As there was no space, she moved her legs into my suitcase and then shouted at me "YOUR SUITCASE IS ON MY LEGS, WHY DONT YOU WATCH WHERE YIUR GOING"
I flushed bright red and said "I'm going downhill with a heavy bag I can barely control, multiple other bags and you walked into me trying to overtske", she turned and sniggered at me. A real deep, patronising snigger. YOUR MISTAKE WAS ENGAGING. AS SHE LAUNCHED STRAIGHT INTO RUDENESS YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST SHOUTED WELL NEXT TIME MAYBE YOU WON’T SHOVE IN

I

That's not really true. Delay Repay on LNER is great, v v quick once set up and you get 100% refund if over 30 mins late. Ive got hundreds bak over the last decade of regular use.

National Rail isn't a train operator. You may have used their online platform as a gateway to claim, which may be more user friendly than the train operators' own online systems. I'll check out the National Rail site to see if it's easier (though doubt it'll change the outcome in terms of compensation, sadly).

I love long train journeys for headphones and solitude.

A lady and her child got on, and the performance parenting still to this day makes me CRINGE. The kid seems to be lovely, quiet and just wanting to eat a little snack tub of Cheerios, and the mother was in her face with everything... lets crayon, lets look out of the window, lets sing a song. Anyway, kid gets frustrated... Kid clearly wants to be left alone with the snacks - so kid starts to play up and whacks her in the face - "come on Mila, don't do that, no... Mummy said no" "NO MILA, LETS BE KIND TODAY" etc.

"Lets look out of the WINDOW, can you say WINDOW" "leave the nice lady (me) alone" - only to then try and have a conversation with me about the Cheerios now over my lap, anything and everything!

I tried to politely say - listen lady, I need this break, I need my headphones and some time to just be by myself. But she wouldn't, would NOT leave me be. Couldn't move, packed train.

I often think perhaps I was the only person she'd seen for a while, or was nervous or something. But no, I think she was just an annoying human.

(Mila was not the kids name)