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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask dh not to take Class A drugs a week before blood tests for recurrent miscarriage?

145 replies

OffTheCoffee · 26/05/2008 19:14

Will it screw up the results of his blood test?

He hardly ever takes any drugs but would need to in order to survive a festival, apparently.

I haven't mentioned it yet. What should I say?

OP posts:
umberella · 27/05/2008 16:48

Oh I'm from Edinburgh too -are the stats you're quoting relative to the number of people in the city at that time of the year? Or are you talking straight numbers?

umberella · 27/05/2008 16:50

Why feel sorry for her - she's got an opinion and knows her own mind with regard to this subject. As you purport to do. And as do I!

DirtySexyMummy · 27/05/2008 16:54

No no, the actual statistics go down. The actual number of (reported) crimes involving alcohol goes down. However, as the number of people actually in the city goes up, in fact doubles during the festival, you could argue that the figures go way down.

Kewcumber · 27/05/2008 16:54

The Lancashire study showed that in Blackpool for example later closeing hours deferred the peak incidence of violent assaults to the early hours of the morning with no evidence that deregulation had any effect on the problem. Shall we just accept we don't agree - or is it to be studies at dawn?

Biigest effect on alcohol related problmes in Preston wasn't opening hours (which had no overall effect) but a ban on street drinking.

YeahBut · 27/05/2008 16:56

OP - Well, if you want an accurate picture of your health and that of dh's at the moment, I'd say taking the drugs before the testing is foolish.
Tell him he can go if he doesn't indulge - it will be a practical exercise for the "And if your friends told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?" lecture for your future dc. And if he feels he can't go and not take drugs, he should stay at home. It get him used to not being able to do everything he wants whenever he wants to after you have kids.

MKG · 27/05/2008 16:59

I don't think it's narrow minded. I've lost lots of friends to their "recreational" use or the use of someone else.

A friend of mine died after getting hit by a drunk driver 3 weeks after having her baby (she was 17)

Another friend of mine was driving his car when he was hit by a drunk driver and his father and his brother both died and he was in a Coma for 6 months. (10 years later hasn't really recovered)

Another friend was found dead in his car 3 days after he overdosed on Heroin (He was 17)

Another friend hung himself after a night of drinking and drugs. (He was 18)

IMO drugs and alcohol ruin lives.

DirtySexyMummy · 27/05/2008 16:59

I prefer to discuss from my own opinion and experience TBH, rather than other peoples studies.

I have to say though, that it seems illogical to me that someone would think that having 10,000 people out on the street at the same time, would be no more likely to cause problems than having them all come out at various times.

But lets agree to disagree.

mrsshackleton · 27/05/2008 17:20

Look, the rights and wrongs of taking drugs are not the point here
The point is should he do it before a blood test. Wanting to do something that MIGHT jeopardise the results of an important blood test solely to "Get through a festival" and is not a helpful attitude to have if you are going through all the stress of ttc
As yeahbut said, if he really wants kids he's going to have to grow up and calm down,no more 36-hour festival benders when they come alone laddie . If he is unable to work this out for himself you should gently explain it to him. Good luck

Original poster
OffTheCoffee · 27/05/2008 18:03

WOW!!! To be honest, I wouldn't have been averse to a good party a few years ago, whatever the rights and wrongs. I guess we've all done things we wish we hadn't.

You've answered my question - will all the cr@p still be in the bloodstream, and yes it will - thanks.

Anyway - I just asked him what he was going to do, all prepared for a row and he said that he had decided not to do drugs this year anyway because he's worried about tests. NOW I FEEL BAD! His brother (usually the ring leader) had already told him not to in the circumstances, so even he's grown up since I last checked! Look out for the thread "how do apologise to my husband for thinking the worst of him" sometime soon,,,

Maybe he's a secret mn viewer and read all your responses, thanks!

OTC

OP posts:
cazcaz · 27/05/2008 18:07

Thats really great OTC! One less thing to worry about. I wish you the very very best of luck with your tests and hope you are enjoying a healthy pregnancy soon!

(I will be keeping an eye out for your thread!)

bossybritches · 27/05/2008 18:39

DSM I don't know where you get your info & opinions from but I prefer to use research based studied done by professionals with years of expreience & knowledge under their belt as well as life skills.

Over 80% of addicts start on cannabis.

Brain cells do NOT regenerate we are talking irreversable damage from the first hit.

With alcohol yes the damage can be as great but not as quickly, people can die from ONE, their first, fix of a drug, it is possible but less unilkely for someone to die after their first drink.

Butr as another kinder poster said earlier this is not the thread for this arguement the poor OP was asking for help so I suggest we leave it.

CoteDAzur · 27/05/2008 18:48

That is great!

Good luck for the tests and hope to see you posting in 'Childbirth' soon

DirtySexyMummy · 27/05/2008 19:35

OffTheCoffee - That is fantastic news - good luck with your tests and hopefully, pregnancy

bossybritches
My info & opinions are years of experience, knowledge and life skills.

80% of people who try cannabis don't become addicted to harder drugs. Apparently, around 4 million people in the UK smoke weed, and there are around 300,000 heroin addicts. Nothing like 80%.

I am pretty sure no-one has ever died from smoking one joint.

MrsTittleMouse · 27/05/2008 19:39

Hurray! That's great news OffTheCoffee - now you can both move on with the tests. I do hope that things work out well.

PS I have a tendency to fly off the handle when DH says things like that too (not drugs, just other life stuff), and he almost always calms down and was just having a bad day. Trouble is, you never know when it's a knee-jerk reaction and when they really mean it, do you?

triedthemall · 27/05/2008 20:07

Just had to do a quick namechange so I could comment, and inthe meantime OTC has resolved her issue... Good luck to you!!!
DSM, you are so right. I smoked weed for many years, a little coke here and there (until I realised it was shit and made me miserable and that it's the least ethical drug of choice) smoked crack once, took pills every now and again. I know people who never took anything other than weed and some of them only hash or weed, never skunk. I know more alcoholics (of varying disciplines, some everyday some who just don't know when to stop) than addicts and I know many people who very very occasionally still have a little blow out, only one dh/dw at a time!!

triedthemall · 27/05/2008 20:08

Loved acid and the mushrooms too.... wow I was so much more wild than I thought!!!

QuintessentialShadows · 27/05/2008 21:37

By DirtySexyMummy on Tue 27-May-08 16:59:41
I prefer to discuss from my own opinion and experience TBH, rather than other peoples studies.

By DirtySexyMummy on Tue 27-May-08 16:45:19

(...) I think you may have to open yourself to the possibility that your experiences are not the be all and end all of a situation.

Think you have just refuted yourself here, DSM! Who needs people like Bossy when you have yourself to convince everybody your experience and opinions cant be trusted...

Rachmumoftwo · 27/05/2008 22:09

Glad all is resolved for the OP. Good luck with the tests and beyond.

DirtySexyMummy · 27/05/2008 23:49

Oh I don't for a second think my opinions are the be all and end all. However, I prefer to discuss my opinions with other peoples opinions.

I always find that when people start quoting from 'studies' and linking to sites etc, that they are not really having a discussion, they are just trying to make the other person change their mind. Its annoying, and I prefer to have personal discussions.

AbbeyA · 28/05/2008 07:23

I find it depressing that people think that being a parent is compatible with illegal drugs.

IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast · 28/05/2008 07:39

Ditto Abbey. Very, very depressing.

I wonder what the MN reaction would be if I posted about my recreational car-stealing habit?

posieparker · 28/05/2008 07:43

Being out of control, whether it be drugs or booze is not a good situation for any parent to be in.

llareggub · 28/05/2008 07:46

I absolutely agree with AbbeyA.

llareggub · 28/05/2008 07:48

I also find the older I get the more conservative I become. In my younger, single, carefree and irresponsible days I could be found propping up the bar. Now I am older, wiser, with responsibilities and far less tolerance for anti-social behaviour.

AbbeyA · 28/05/2008 08:17

It must be something about posting early in the morning-I am overcome to have people agreeing with me!! It won't be long before I am I am a narrow minded, killjoy and told that alcohol is similar or worse! (I also think that parents should have grown out of binge drinking).I absolutely love the comment about recreational car stealing!!

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