to ask dh not to take Class A drugs a week before blood tests for recurrent miscarriage?

[OffTheCoffee]

Will it screw up the results of his blood test?

He hardly ever takes any drugs but would need to in order to survive a festival, apparently.

I haven't mentioned it yet. What should I say?

this isn't going to go down well - could you reschedule test? If he really only 'indulges' twice a year?
Batten down the hatches

Offthecoffee. You were warned this would be a hard thread. The fact is you need to know the facts. I am not going to go into the rights and wrongs. But if you have had MC before you need to know what the reasons are. The Blood tests need to be accurate so carry on as you were and then see the results.

Reading it in Black and White may be your best hope with him. X

Well, being Latin American, everyone knows how I feel about coke and I wouldn't hang with anyone who did it.

But if you absolutely must have kids with a dude who's still into festivals and eccies and all that business, then reschedule the tests.

People who take drugs now and again are not addicts. Same as people who have a drink now and again are not alcoholics.

Daddy might get hit by a bus crossing the road, FFS. Seriously, it is not any more dangerous than say, extreme sports, or dangerous jobs.

To suggest that someone is not a fit parent because they enjoy different pastimes than you is ignorant and self-righteous at best. At worst it is offensive and upsetting, particularly in the context of this particular situation.

People are being exploited all over the world for lots of things. Cheap clothes, for example. Children are working in sweatshops for an absoloute pittance in disgusting conditions so we can buy cheap clothes. I would not suggest that someone who shops in Primark is not fit to be a parent.

OffTheCoffee - What are his blood tests for? Do they think that there could be a genetic reason for your mc's?

It's actually not as rare as all that, Jules

1 in 500 people have a translocation. I've seen 1 in 650 in other reports. Most never know it.

Important to get it ruled out, though.

sorry, I accept that 1 in 500 can still be perceived as rare.

I was shocked when I found out that ratio, though.

In any case, TLs, whilst carrying high mc risks, are not insurmountable, and normal pregnancies are still achieveable for many TL carriers.

Sincerely wish you a good set of results though, OTC, and my sympathies for the m/cs, to you too jules.

Good luck.

if he needs to behave illegally in order to "survive" a festival then he shouldn't be going.

justjules alcohol is a blood thinner anyway, so it could be argued that it would have had the opposite effect Do you have Hughes or something different?

Saying about rare compared to three miscarriages, I know that Hughes has the same risk (1 in 500 without family hx) but it causes 1 in 10 (10%) of miscarriages. Women don't generally miscarry three times in a row with no healthy outcomes without there being a reason, so each miscarry ups your chances of having something wrong.

I agree with people who said you need a normal test. I won't get into the ins and outs of drugs and parenting or the moral issues, it's been done. I do agree though with the person who said it only takes one bad tablet (or whatever) to cause brain damage or death. I wouldn't want to be deliberately putting myself at risk of that when I had a child.

Seriously, do you do nothing with any potential risk?

Of course you do. We all do.

I will say it again - judging people on their personal preference for recreational activity is ignorant and self righteous.

I don't deliberately put myself at risk. Life is risky, so is Russian Roulette but you don't have to do Russian Roulette.

dsm
i can't believe you are condoning drugtaking on this thread while condemning someone for being a size 22 on another thread.Is drug taking a healthy lifestyle?
To the op I'm sorry for the troubles you have had.I hope Dp will listen to you. you are not being unreasonable.
I hope everything works out for you and if dp does indulge at the festival get a sperm sample before he goes !

I never said taking drugs was healthy.

Neither is being overweight. Or getting drunk, or smoking, or not exercising. But I have never, and would never suggest that people who do those things should not have children. Would you?

I am going to be 'ignorant and self-righteous' to quote and judgemental. A parent has to be responsible, those who take the euphemistically termed 'recreational'drugs are not ready to be parents. It is nothing like getting knocked down by a bus, doing dangerous sports or jobs. The damage it does to people through out the world is not comparable to cheap clothing. You only have to google it to find out the facts about pollution and damage to the environment, if you add that to tales like QuintessentialShadows where two year olds are in Bolivian prisons then I can't see how you can be comfortable taking it for 'fun'. It is anything but fun for a lot of people.

I've read your posts before on this subject DSM, they generally contain pretty hollow, repetitive, immature arguments in my opinion.

I'd love to see you debating this with the child of someone who has died of an overdose (addict or not), or the two yr old in prison because her mother was so effing selfish and stupid.

Reschedule the tests and don't TTC around that time.

Treat it as a sign of his optimism - he probably knows that this time next year he won't be able to go to the festivals because you'll have a newborn!

Wishing you luck.

Interesting opinion there umbrella. What exactly is it that makes you think my opinions are hollow, repetitive and immature?

My sister is law watched her mother die of a heroin overdose. She was 6 years old. I have had this 'debate' with her on numerous occassions, thankfully she is accepting and open-minded enogh to actually have an intelligent debate with, rather than simply throwing insults around.

I don't agree that anyone has the right to tell someone else they should not be parents because they personally think that their lifestyle choices do not match the ideal they have of a 'good parent'. I know plenty of occassional drug users who are fantastic parents, and plenty of non-drug users who are shit parents.

Are they able to look their 2 year old in the eye DSM knowing that indirectly their purchase of drugs is responsible for a 2 yr old knowing nothing except the inside of a Bolivian jail? Or can they simply close their mind to it and pretend it has nothing to do with them?

Not sure what you mean Abbey. Noone is ever going to agree that it is ever acceptable for a 2yo to be in jail. I am very surprised that she is, TBH, you would think a family member or the Bolivian equivalent SS would do something about it.

Are you able to look your children in the eye knowing that your purchase of clothes from many high street stores is responsible for the slave labour of very young children?

Damage is caused by many things around the world, and is a huge, huge subject to discuss. However, my point here is that I do not find it an acceptable opinion for someone to suggest they another person should not be allowed to have children based on lifestyle choices.

People are trying to stop child labour. Sewing clothes doesn't involve pouring vast amouts of sulphuric acid into the ground. People's life style choices should not involve the misery of others.

Okay.

Well first of all, not all drugs involve the 'misery of others'. Many people grow their own weed, for example. Most Ecstacy is made in labs in Holland.

Sewing clothes may not involve 'pouring vast amouts of sulphuric acid into the ground', however, it does involve children, very young children, working 2 hour days in sweat shops for an absoloute pittance. Yes, people are trying to stop it, but the only real way to end the supply is to cease the demand.

The way to end it is to boycott the stores that sell it.The way to end the misery caused by drug production is not to buy drugs.