As we have a brand new thread ready to go and are finishing this one.
Simon Armitage's agent "We've noticed an increased amount of internet traffic with your name. Most of it seems to be on..Mumsnet".
SA "Oh great! Are they talking about my latest book?"
Agent "Erm. No. It seems to be mostly about TSP, and.."
SA "That book with the guy who was always 'hilariously' getting mistaken for me even though he looks nothing like me?!"
Agent " Erm. Yes"
SA (sadly) "Nothing about the poems, then?"
Agent "No... but they're generally pretty positive about you, even if you do have the male equivalent of resting bitch face in photos".
SA "I bet John Dryden never had these problems".