To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

This feels like it's about way more than the kettle. Power struggles manifesting in the form of a Breville appliance.

It's not that big a deal, you seem to be taking it very personally. Would you be this upset if she wanted to bring her own pillow? I really don't think she's doing it to insult you and your inferior plastic kettle, she just sounds very picky about her tea.

It's not that big a deal, you seem to be taking it very personally. Would you be this upset if she wanted to bring her own pillow? I really don't think she's doing it to insult you and your inferior plastic kettle, she just sounds very picky about her tea.

I take my own pillow everywhere I go. I get neck pain otherwise.
I can’t really see why you’ve made this into such a massive deal. It literally makes zero difference to you which kettle she uses. She’s not asking you to pay for it.
Just let her do the things that make her feel comfortable in your home.
So she is a little finicky? So what?

You can’t really stop her bringing it - she can just ignore you. But could the issue be a difference in how the water tastes?

Let Them Theory.

completely. Look up the podcast

Just let her. It’s no skin off your nose and it’s a good “ My MIL is crazier than your MIL” story.

(if you really wanted to wind her up you could insist that the kettle is PAT tested, before it crosses your threshold) 🙂

I would just let her bring it - it will save you a lot of moaning about the taste and heaven forbid she might find limescale in yours or some other issue.

After having covid a lot of normal tasting things tasted and smelt awful to me. Your mil might have something similar.

My dh brings his own pillow everywhere since he gets a migraine with other pillows. He's not spoilt, just prone to migraines.

Sounds like a storm in a tea cup!

Oh fgs
Let her bring her kettle! It's no skin off your nose!

As for pillows- lots of people travel with their own pillow.

Perceptions of taste are very subjective - you simply can not argue against.

There are all sort of ongoing debates about unhealthy additives in plastics - to which extent there is a significant danger is also debatable. Personally, I'm not worried about anything that will kill me after 300-500 years of continuing use.

Using hot water from boiler should be an easy quick fix for making coffee or tea, right?

I tried, and my personal perception is that the same boiled water has far better taste when boiled in a kettle. My imagination or real?

I wouldn't make any fuss about 'I want to use my own kettle'.

I try to avoid boiling or heating anything in plastic but I would not be carrying my own kettle anywhere as it is a tad over the top. I would not want to embarrass my hosts; by the same token if a guest wanted to bring her own kettle, it is just good manners to allow it as a host.

It's probably the water not the kettle tasting different. I'd let her bring her own if it makes her happy but I'd think she was batshit.

Let her bring her own kettle.

I hate plastic kettles too and can taste the difference. I drink my tea weak, without milk or sugar, so the difference in the water is noticeable.

Some plastic kettles give off a plastic taste, even the instructions say to boil a kettle full of water a few times and it should go away. Having said that I once got a plastic kettle and no matter how many times we used it there was an awful plastic taste from it. I switched to a stainless steel one and got rid of the plastic kettle.

I love tea and have preferences but whatever brand it is it must be strong. I'd just let her get on with it and not make as big a deal as you are. Pick your battles.

YABU Why does this bother you so much? It's not rude at all.

PG Tips are disgusting in my opinion! When I go away, I take my own pillow, sugar and teabags!

Never taken my own kettle but really don't see what the issue is, some people have better senses of taste, so if she can taste the plastic, let her bring her own glass/stainless steel kettle.

You're being pathetic by trying to stop her and very inhospitable. You as a host should actually want your guests to be happy, but clearly you can't stand your MIL so you have no desire for her to be comfortable or happy whilst in your home.

We just stayed in a holiday place with a plastic kettle - I had to use the saucepan to make tea, as the plastic taste was really noticeable and unpleasant. I agree that drinking tea without milk probably makes it even more so. Most people won't say anything, as they're being pleasant and polite.

That said, I would just deal with it if I was a guest in someone's home. And likewise, I would just nod and smile if a guest wanted to bring their own.

I can taste metal when I drink hot drink from a metal flask, may be it's the same for her but plastic.

I’m team mil

I have had to return some new kettles because I can taste the plastic. I have metal kettles..always.

My children learned in their toddler years not to come between me and my tea. I can only imagine by the time I'm the age of a MIL this will be even more so the case.

Let her bring it, this is really not a hill to die on. Make this a funny memory.

It's no harm to anyone except your relationship - if you let it.

I agree with you. Why be nasty when being nice feels so much better..for everyone.

I have an orthopaedic pillow for my dm when she stays so she doesn’t have to bring her own one, a china teacup and saucer for mil because she says that tea tastes better out of china and we use mugs, and a special beer mug for bil. My sil brings her own food because she is coeliac and also avoiding upfs and prefers not to risk cross contamination in a house where flour is used.

I like people to be comfortable when they visit.

Your MIL sounds rude. I wouldn't bring my own kettle anywhere but I can taste the plastic. You can get stainless steel kettles. Some kettles also have a plastic thing inside (for limescale i think) - I always remove it. Microplastics are a problem.