To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

Why does it affect you? Just leave her to it. You clearly dislike her.

It wouldn't bother me to be honest

Would it actually hurt you to let her bring her own kettle? Of course it's a trivial thing but strewth if that's all she's got to gripe about, you're winning!
Clearly, you don't like her.

I can understand where she is coming from. I understand about tasting plastic. For me it’s the smell

Plastic Breville kettles are horrible, you can taste the plastic. I also hate milk from plastic cartons, it tastes so much different to "cardboard" cartons.

Not the hill to die on OP!

Honestly and perhaps I am weird too. It does make a difference.

I cannot drink tea made with water out of a plastic kettle. It does taste like plastic. I went on a mission and tried multiple kettles. Even the stainless steel kettles make water taste like the heating element, like a strange electric / metallic taste.

We only use a stainless steel kettle heated on our gas stove and I can appreciate that not everyone has a gas stove.

We even had a little taste test kitchen among family and friends. And the 3 types of boiled water tasted different with the stainless on gas tasting the most neutral.

I can taste the difference and only really like tea made in glass kettles, but I wouldn't take one with me to stay with someone else. I wouldn't rise to it if you think she's trying to make a point though - just let her bring it.

Me too, I taste the plastic as well. Because of this I don't use plastic when I heat something, my kettle is metal because of this. If it makes her happy and she is particular about her tea, notjing wrong with bringing her own kettle, she doesen't ask you to buy a new one.

We do too, and towels, literally to help the host with the washings! Nothing mean anout it and not judgy at all!

Meh let her bring her kettle.
Instead of getting worked up, just have a giggle.
Hopefully mil will make everyone lots of tea!

Surely you’d rather have an extra kettle for a few days than a mother in law complaining about your crap tea.

I actually think it’s a good think she caters for her own personal preferences. I only like one particular sweetener in my tea, if I’m going to stay somewhere I’ll take it with me. Nobody has ever been offended (because why would they be!?!). I’d definitely do the same with other things.

This wouldn’t bother me at all. I don’t understand why it bothers you? I often take my own pillow - it’s so much comfier than everyone else’s.

Instant Mumsnet classic for batshit crayzy 😍
Just leave her to be as mad as a box of frogs. Smile. Mental note not to be this twatty. Feel pity. 🤩💅🏻

I'm with MIL. My daughter's kettle does strange things to water and I don't think it actually boils it properly so she rolls her eyes and digs out her old kettle. Where's the harm in letting MIL bring her own?

I think you should relax a bit. Who cares if she brings her own kettle? Yes, it’s a bit much. But what’s the point in having a fight about something so pointless?

If there is really a plasticky taste from your kettle, you might enjoy the tea from hers? I would never have a plastic kettle personally, as I’d worry I’d taste that chemical plastic taste…

I also take my pillow with me (as long as I’m not flying) when I go anywhere. It’s infinitely more comfortable than anything else I’ve ever used, and I know I sleep better. Can’t see how that’s a big deal

Fair to say I think we all have a bonkers side...I never ever noticed the mugs in other places, thrir thickness or their handles...I am bothered about spoons though, they have to be deep and large, not small and shallow. Also dislike a crockery made of thin flimsy metal! I can not eat, I had friends who had those and brought my own forks and spoons. They were taking the piss but all in good humor. This is why is important to embrace our differences and bonkers side, makes the world less boring!

Just let it go.

I have a regular visitor who insists on bringing his own pillow in its special pillowcase, & his own cup & plate.

And his teddy .

Oh look, another nonsense thread where the OP doesn't return.

Who gives a shit? Let her bring her own kettle and make her own tea, in her own non existent universe where none of this is happening.

Just let her do it. And then discover the reason her tea tastes funny is naff all to do with the kettle but rather because you have different water.
Agree with pp about inwardly rolling eyes though.

Just let her get on with it, she’s not harming anyone and some people are very sensitive to certain tastes.
My parents tea always taste really different/plasticky so I tend to stick to squash whenever I visit them.

Yep. This.

How long is she staying for ... a weekend? a week? If its a short visit she's being extremely precious. The longer the visit, the more understandable it is.

I think she's being rude and making a pathetic point by "announcing" it. And she's leaving time for you to work out what that point is. She's expecting you to say something, so that she can tell you exactly why your offering isn't good enough (at least, my MIL would) so don't fall for it.

Obvious answer to the limescale issue have filtered water on the side, without saying anything.
And she makes her own tea every time.
I'd be drinking coffee or herbal tea the whole time she's there.

The Pillow I can understand a bit more as I've got a special one for my neck, but having said that I've never brought it other people's houses when I visit. I wouldn't "announce" it either like a Rock Star's Ryder. Is it a physio pillow? or trying to make a point about the pillows being old or not clean enough? Normal polite behaviour would be to just bring it and quietly use hers.

Hope the rest of the visit goes smoothly. You can always go to the bottom of the garden and have a quick vent. Bring some herbal tea with you!

Let her bring it but have a sneaky mini protest and only have oat milk in the fridge, none of that cow juice stuff 😀

In agree with PP - just roll your eyes & let her get on with it.

For info: I'm fussy about my tea, but always take my own tea bags with me &, rather apologetically, say that I'm fussy about my tea (like your MIL I hate PG Tips & take my own Assam tea) & am incapable of communicating until I've had at least 3 mugs of tea. I also take my bone china mug with me as I hate to drink out of a thick mug & the tea doesn't taste the same.

But my friends & family understand my foible & we have a laugh about it. DH & me have made it a family joke & GC will ask how many cups of tea I've had asking if 'nana has had enough tea yet'.

I wouldn't dream of taking my own kettle - after all a kettle is a kettle.

I understand that the late Q Elizabeth used to travel with bottles of her own water with which to make tea etc, but that only makes sense when, as a Queen, the last thing she needed was an adverse reaction to local water.

Not being a queen, I'm happy to shove a few of my favoured tea bags into my suitcase.

I don't buy plastic kettles because I can taste the difference (same water, same tea, same cup, etc., just plastic kettle v. glass or metal one).

But I don't know that it matters whether you believe her or not - is she just a complete pain to have around whom your DH only tolerates and you and any DC get irritated by? In which case, put your foot down and don't give in to any other requests and maybe she'll stop coming so much. Or is she generally a well loved mother of your DH and DGM of any children and a little flexibility would help make everything a bit sweeter for the family in general?