What have you never done?

[AngryBird6122]

I have never tried ikea meatballs.

Heard Katie Price say anything remotely intelligent

never smoked a cigarette, not even to try

Been married
Been engaged
Owned a house
Owned a car

So you have seen Eastenders then (sorry couldn't resist 😉)

Missed a flight

Attempted a handbrake turn

Given a eulogy

Watched ‘Love Actually’

bum sex.

Never used Algerbra or Pythagorus Theorum.

Driven a car

I expect you have used algebra without realising

What, didn't you take maths exams or tests with them in (eg Maths GCSE)

Quite!

If you can work out things like "what's 20% of £2.80" or needed to know how many 70cm tiles to buy to cover a 4 x 3.5m floor... adjusted ingredients in recipes... Shared bills/worked out how much everyone owes for dinner....

You're doing algebra

Had a one night stand
Had it up the council gritter
Operated a dishwasher
Driven a car
Been married
Been a bridesmaid / been to a hen do
Worn a thong
Been to a spa / nail salon / massage
Had any money

Watched Big Brother.
Owned a car.
Had a child.
Been married.

Voted Tory (though I have shagged a couple)
Taken crack
Been to a rugby match
Seen Home Alone
Been on any fairground rides more aggressive than the tea cups
Been to bingo

I have no particular urge to put any of these on my bucket list. I'm old enough to know what I like and there's a reason I've avoided all of these.

When the first star wars was released I worked in a cinema in school holidays. I saw it three times a day every day for six weeks.
Never seen the very start (showing people to seats in the days when usherettes actually showed people to their seats) or a patch in the middle (getting ice cream tray ready and cashing up after ice cream sales).

Never read a Harry Potter book or seen a Harry Potter film.
Or HP play.

Watched a Hugh Grant film
Drank a cup of tea
Had my nails/eyebrows done
Been pregnant, engaged or married

Eaten meat or cheese.
Done anything remotely intimate with a woman, which I imagine is a relief to 50% of the population.
Watched lost or the walking dead.
Lived alone.

Watched anything, or read any article, relating to the Kardashians.
Read or watched Harry Potter.
Watched Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or Game of Thrones.
Broken a bone.
Been to Cornwall.

Watched Love Island (and never will, despite quite liking some reality TV);
Been stung by a bee or wasp (which at 57 I think is pretty good going, although it does mean I'm disproportionately afraid of being stung);
Taken drugs unless you count a single puff on a joint in my twenties (also not bad considering I grew up in a town with a drug problem and used to party a lot);
Smoked even 1 puff of a 'normal' cigarette;
Been to Nandos;
Had surgery (unless you count ingrowing toenails grimace) or been an inpatient in hospital;
Read any of Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones, or seen any of the TV/film tie-ins;
Changed a nappy or even wiped a bottom other than my own (no kids, didn't have any younger siblings/relatives growing up);
Eaten Marmite or Bovril, the smell of both is enough to put me off.

So how do you know who the Kardashians are if you've never read or watched a single thing about them?

You've never had any money?

Never?? How do you buy things?

Is it so impossible to believe that a person might know about them from hearing about them, yet not deliberately watched a programme or read an article about them?

used a chainsaw

been to Alton Towers

ridden or sat a horse

made lasagne

vomited blood

been to A+E in a country outside England
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(one of the above is not true, I have done one of these. Anyone care to guess which?)

i've never had an orgasm 😕

Heavy metal headbanging or wore a biker leather jacket..yuk