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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to fly abroad with pneumonia and DC with a chest infection?

249 replies

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:32

We are due to leave on Wednesday to go to Canada. DH’s sister lives there, he hasn’t seen her for 15 years and has never met his niece and nephew who are 11 and 4. There’s a long complicated story as to why it has been like this but basically his family are from a poor country in Eastern Europe, managed to emigrate to Canada eventually, but DH’s mum couldn’t get residency so they all got deported and essentially banned from the country, the sister was allowed to stay as was an adult had a Canadian partner by then. DH was only a teenager at the time. After years of fighting with the Canadian immigration system and an appeal involving an immigration lawyer we managed to get the ban overturned so he can finally visit his sister for 2 weeks. We don’t earn particularly well and it took a lot of saving.

We’re going with our 3 year old. This trip has been planned for 2 years. Sod’s Law, we all caught Covid about a month ago. DH recovered very quickly. Me and DD recovered quickly too but have since both developed chest infections. It seemed to go away then come back. DD has been checked out at a walk-in centre a few days ago and now on treatment, she is recovering and only has the lingering cough now and no temperature or chills but she’s still not 100% herself.

I went to GP yesterday to finally sort myself out. I’ve had the cough, green mucus and headaches etc but I’ve not bothered about myself as I’ve been so worried about DD. With her finally on the mend I’ve finally found the energy to get myself seen. GP didn’t like sound of my chest and sent me to walk-in centre where I was diagnosed with fucking walking pneumonia. Advised by doctors that it’s not recommend to fly but that if absolutely necessary then I can.

I was so excited to meet DH’s sister and kids and vice versa. DH desperate for his daughter to meet his sister. I feel as though we have to go, and I want to, but my family are worried and telling me not to. I feel there’s no choice. We’ve been advised we’re not contagious to others. In a way I think it might help me recover as we’ll be guests so I can take things a bit easy and have someone cook for me, not be cleaning or cooking etc like I would be at home, so maybe it will help me recover? AIBU?

OP posts:
tumblingdowntherabbithole · 14/07/2025 09:49

Lactofull · 14/07/2025 09:20

🤷‍♀️

based on my awful experience of pneumonia, I’d reschedule. You wouldn’t.

Given the OP appears to have been seriously considering travelling with active and aggressive pneumonia despite doctors warning not to - I am guessing she’s not risk averse!

Show quote history

I didn’t say I wouldn’t reschedule, I said I wouldn’t reschedule for a months’ time. I think OP should wait until she’s fully recovered and has been cleared to fly before rebooking any flights. If I was in her shoes I’d also check insurance would cover me for any chest issues.

99bottlesofkombucha · 14/07/2025 12:26

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 14/07/2025 09:49

I didn’t say I wouldn’t reschedule, I said I wouldn’t reschedule for a months’ time. I think OP should wait until she’s fully recovered and has been cleared to fly before rebooking any flights. If I was in her shoes I’d also check insurance would cover me for any chest issues.

Show quote history

I agree, a month is a short time for recovery.

GiveDogBone · 14/07/2025 18:01

Have you declared to your travel insurance? They won’t pay for anything, even completely unrelated, if you haven’t told them. You’re a whisker away from a front page story on the Daily Mail and launching a go fund me page to get home.

Blades2 · 14/07/2025 18:25

Yeah unfortunately no.
i had to cancel a pretty much once in a life time
concert for me and my DD back in December after I got pneumonia, I was very sick with it, and the recovery and chest pain was horrendous x

llizzie · 14/07/2025 18:26

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:32

We are due to leave on Wednesday to go to Canada. DH’s sister lives there, he hasn’t seen her for 15 years and has never met his niece and nephew who are 11 and 4. There’s a long complicated story as to why it has been like this but basically his family are from a poor country in Eastern Europe, managed to emigrate to Canada eventually, but DH’s mum couldn’t get residency so they all got deported and essentially banned from the country, the sister was allowed to stay as was an adult had a Canadian partner by then. DH was only a teenager at the time. After years of fighting with the Canadian immigration system and an appeal involving an immigration lawyer we managed to get the ban overturned so he can finally visit his sister for 2 weeks. We don’t earn particularly well and it took a lot of saving.

We’re going with our 3 year old. This trip has been planned for 2 years. Sod’s Law, we all caught Covid about a month ago. DH recovered very quickly. Me and DD recovered quickly too but have since both developed chest infections. It seemed to go away then come back. DD has been checked out at a walk-in centre a few days ago and now on treatment, she is recovering and only has the lingering cough now and no temperature or chills but she’s still not 100% herself.

I went to GP yesterday to finally sort myself out. I’ve had the cough, green mucus and headaches etc but I’ve not bothered about myself as I’ve been so worried about DD. With her finally on the mend I’ve finally found the energy to get myself seen. GP didn’t like sound of my chest and sent me to walk-in centre where I was diagnosed with fucking walking pneumonia. Advised by doctors that it’s not recommend to fly but that if absolutely necessary then I can.

I was so excited to meet DH’s sister and kids and vice versa. DH desperate for his daughter to meet his sister. I feel as though we have to go, and I want to, but my family are worried and telling me not to. I feel there’s no choice. We’ve been advised we’re not contagious to others. In a way I think it might help me recover as we’ll be guests so I can take things a bit easy and have someone cook for me, not be cleaning or cooking etc like I would be at home, so maybe it will help me recover? AIBU?

You are being unreasonable to yourself and the loved ones who depend on you.

madaboutpurple · 14/07/2025 18:29

I agree with others you will invalidate travel insurance.

Thefsm · 14/07/2025 19:29

I’d go. Walking pneumonia isn’t that bad and you’ll have several days of antibiotics and rest before the flight.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 14/07/2025 19:32

Thefsm · 14/07/2025 19:29

I’d go. Walking pneumonia isn’t that bad and you’ll have several days of antibiotics and rest before the flight.

She's been told she shouldn't fly! She'd be absolutely fucked if something were to happen.

Louisa58 · 14/07/2025 19:34

Please don’t travel with a contagious disease - that’s very unfair on yourself and/or anyone else (particularly if they are already a vulnerable or elderly person on the flight or anyone you may come into contact with). I worked in Respiratory medicine for 15 years. It’s not worth the risk of potential severe illness for yourself or someone else. I am so sorry to hear about this situation, it’s horrible for you, but I would employ ‘if in doubt, don’t’. It’s often the right thing to do. Hopefully the insurance company will pay out, with a GP letter informing them of the current situation for you and your DD, so that you can reschedule your trip.

Anonymousforthisone2025 · 14/07/2025 19:36

Your health insurance will not cover you unless you tell them about your pneumonia. Phone them, see what they say and go from there

AnotherEmily · 14/07/2025 19:41

No way would I do this, or send my child without me, with a chest infection.

pineapplesundae · 14/07/2025 20:46

I am pretty sure if you have symptoms you’re contagious. Please don’t get on a plane. The universe is playing a cruel trick on you but you must not get on that plane.

Oldwmn · 14/07/2025 22:10

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:32

We are due to leave on Wednesday to go to Canada. DH’s sister lives there, he hasn’t seen her for 15 years and has never met his niece and nephew who are 11 and 4. There’s a long complicated story as to why it has been like this but basically his family are from a poor country in Eastern Europe, managed to emigrate to Canada eventually, but DH’s mum couldn’t get residency so they all got deported and essentially banned from the country, the sister was allowed to stay as was an adult had a Canadian partner by then. DH was only a teenager at the time. After years of fighting with the Canadian immigration system and an appeal involving an immigration lawyer we managed to get the ban overturned so he can finally visit his sister for 2 weeks. We don’t earn particularly well and it took a lot of saving.

We’re going with our 3 year old. This trip has been planned for 2 years. Sod’s Law, we all caught Covid about a month ago. DH recovered very quickly. Me and DD recovered quickly too but have since both developed chest infections. It seemed to go away then come back. DD has been checked out at a walk-in centre a few days ago and now on treatment, she is recovering and only has the lingering cough now and no temperature or chills but she’s still not 100% herself.

I went to GP yesterday to finally sort myself out. I’ve had the cough, green mucus and headaches etc but I’ve not bothered about myself as I’ve been so worried about DD. With her finally on the mend I’ve finally found the energy to get myself seen. GP didn’t like sound of my chest and sent me to walk-in centre where I was diagnosed with fucking walking pneumonia. Advised by doctors that it’s not recommend to fly but that if absolutely necessary then I can.

I was so excited to meet DH’s sister and kids and vice versa. DH desperate for his daughter to meet his sister. I feel as though we have to go, and I want to, but my family are worried and telling me not to. I feel there’s no choice. We’ve been advised we’re not contagious to others. In a way I think it might help me recover as we’ll be guests so I can take things a bit easy and have someone cook for me, not be cleaning or cooking etc like I would be at home, so maybe it will help me recover? AIBU?

It's disappointing but you'd be a lunatic to go. Reschedule.

Diblin93 · 15/07/2025 02:11

I caught pneumonia three years ago. Spent 5 days in the intensive care unit. For the first 3 days the doctors could not guarantee I would survive - the best they could say was they would do their best for me. Please do not go. If you cannot/are advised not to fly, shouldn’t your travel insurance cover all three if you changing your flights to a later date?

TealSapphire · 15/07/2025 02:18

Why can't they come visit you?

boxset · 15/07/2025 02:27

DH goes alone no question. You can’t send him with a sick three year old to see family he deserves to spend quality time with. How can you put a still not well child on a transatlantic flight jet lag and an unfamiliar place which will be exhausting for her and you? I wouldn’t do it for all the money. Rest up, let him go. It will be better for him and that’s the main thing. You equally will not be thanked for passing on bugs to family and an entire plane of passengers. Madness

cordeliavorkosigan · 15/07/2025 02:39

I'd send dh and dd , assuming she's improving before the trip. She will adjust, and you being alone with her with pneumonia is no good. Your travel insurance should cover your flight. Maybe not the others. If you are better you could fly in later maybe.

That seems like the best balance of all the things including their annual leave, your health, the total cost, dh seeing his family etc. Your dd will be with loving family and one of her 2 parents , and will not be alone with a parent with pneumonia. she will be fine.

noodlebugz · 15/07/2025 06:22

OP I’ve read all your posts and I’m really sorry that it’s fallen through this time, though it sounds like the most sensible thing with the insurance and such.
What stuck out for me is the proper big silver lining that your husband sounds like an absolute beaut!
When you get there - and you will - you’ll have the best time! x

Laurmolonlabe · 15/07/2025 08:57

No, it's very dangerous to travel with pneumonia, and risky to travel by air with a chest infection. This is why you must always get travel insurance as soon as you book.

naffusername · 16/07/2025 05:00

I'm Canadian.

Stay home. Depending on which province you are heading to there are several factors to be considered.

It's forest fire season. People with lung conditions are told to stay indoors.

There's a Measles outbreak in two provinces. Hello depressed immune system!

Our hospitals are over capacity in many areas. We have a viral infection going around and Covid is acting up. My friend has been down for two weeks with a virus. We no longer Covid test in our province and she feels like she's been hit by a train.

So stay home and get well.

uncomfortablydumb60 · 16/07/2025 05:06

Sorry but I think you’re taking a big risk on a flight with Pneumonia The cabin pressure will put you at risk of a collapsed lung or blood clot and your infection can so easily developing into that important
Nothing in life is that important to take a risk like this
What are the terms of travel. Insurance ?

Zanatdy · 16/07/2025 05:17

Bless you, what a sad situation. If you’re not covered by travel insurance, I wouldn’t go. I expect medical treatment is expensive in Canada. Can you try and reschedule for next school holidays? Feel for your DH, how sad for him.

Cakeisbest · 18/07/2025 11:54

As the OP doesn't seem to have specified, or clarified, I can only assume their travel insurance did not cover for curtailment of travel in her particular circumstances so that she'd be covered by insurance for reimbursement of the cost of her not flying but also that her husbands insurance covers the cost of him not going too because a travel companion(his wife) cannot travel. Such terms can be expensive add-on's when taking out travel insurance. I always ensure we are covered if a close relative is taken ill, for example an elderly parent who is not travelling might be taken ill.

Tetchypants · 18/07/2025 23:17

How are you doing @OreoBiscuitPie ?

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 19/07/2025 17:56

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:32

We are due to leave on Wednesday to go to Canada. DH’s sister lives there, he hasn’t seen her for 15 years and has never met his niece and nephew who are 11 and 4. There’s a long complicated story as to why it has been like this but basically his family are from a poor country in Eastern Europe, managed to emigrate to Canada eventually, but DH’s mum couldn’t get residency so they all got deported and essentially banned from the country, the sister was allowed to stay as was an adult had a Canadian partner by then. DH was only a teenager at the time. After years of fighting with the Canadian immigration system and an appeal involving an immigration lawyer we managed to get the ban overturned so he can finally visit his sister for 2 weeks. We don’t earn particularly well and it took a lot of saving.

We’re going with our 3 year old. This trip has been planned for 2 years. Sod’s Law, we all caught Covid about a month ago. DH recovered very quickly. Me and DD recovered quickly too but have since both developed chest infections. It seemed to go away then come back. DD has been checked out at a walk-in centre a few days ago and now on treatment, she is recovering and only has the lingering cough now and no temperature or chills but she’s still not 100% herself.

I went to GP yesterday to finally sort myself out. I’ve had the cough, green mucus and headaches etc but I’ve not bothered about myself as I’ve been so worried about DD. With her finally on the mend I’ve finally found the energy to get myself seen. GP didn’t like sound of my chest and sent me to walk-in centre where I was diagnosed with fucking walking pneumonia. Advised by doctors that it’s not recommend to fly but that if absolutely necessary then I can.

I was so excited to meet DH’s sister and kids and vice versa. DH desperate for his daughter to meet his sister. I feel as though we have to go, and I want to, but my family are worried and telling me not to. I feel there’s no choice. We’ve been advised we’re not contagious to others. In a way I think it might help me recover as we’ll be guests so I can take things a bit easy and have someone cook for me, not be cleaning or cooking etc like I would be at home, so maybe it will help me recover? AIBU?

If you're to ill to fly then your travel insurance will cover that
If you are related or responsible for other in your party then the whole group are covered fir cancellation

If you do fly it won't cover you

It's why you have insurance

You do have insurance??