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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to fly abroad with pneumonia and DC with a chest infection?

249 replies

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:32

We are due to leave on Wednesday to go to Canada. DH’s sister lives there, he hasn’t seen her for 15 years and has never met his niece and nephew who are 11 and 4. There’s a long complicated story as to why it has been like this but basically his family are from a poor country in Eastern Europe, managed to emigrate to Canada eventually, but DH’s mum couldn’t get residency so they all got deported and essentially banned from the country, the sister was allowed to stay as was an adult had a Canadian partner by then. DH was only a teenager at the time. After years of fighting with the Canadian immigration system and an appeal involving an immigration lawyer we managed to get the ban overturned so he can finally visit his sister for 2 weeks. We don’t earn particularly well and it took a lot of saving.

We’re going with our 3 year old. This trip has been planned for 2 years. Sod’s Law, we all caught Covid about a month ago. DH recovered very quickly. Me and DD recovered quickly too but have since both developed chest infections. It seemed to go away then come back. DD has been checked out at a walk-in centre a few days ago and now on treatment, she is recovering and only has the lingering cough now and no temperature or chills but she’s still not 100% herself.

I went to GP yesterday to finally sort myself out. I’ve had the cough, green mucus and headaches etc but I’ve not bothered about myself as I’ve been so worried about DD. With her finally on the mend I’ve finally found the energy to get myself seen. GP didn’t like sound of my chest and sent me to walk-in centre where I was diagnosed with fucking walking pneumonia. Advised by doctors that it’s not recommend to fly but that if absolutely necessary then I can.

I was so excited to meet DH’s sister and kids and vice versa. DH desperate for his daughter to meet his sister. I feel as though we have to go, and I want to, but my family are worried and telling me not to. I feel there’s no choice. We’ve been advised we’re not contagious to others. In a way I think it might help me recover as we’ll be guests so I can take things a bit easy and have someone cook for me, not be cleaning or cooking etc like I would be at home, so maybe it will help me recover? AIBU?

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 13/07/2025 20:50

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 13/07/2025 20:32

If the DD has a chest infection she probably shouldn't fly either, tbf.

Show quote history

Well I'd usually agree, but OP says she's on the mend on just needs to finish her AB's, so the likelihood of her being almost back to normal by Wednesday is positive.

MarySueSaidBoo · 13/07/2025 20:50

I had pneumonia a few years ago OP and ended up spending boxing day sat in A & E with the worst pain in my back ever. I had steroids, an inhaler and around 6 weeks of antibiotics (that I then had an intolerance to and needed another course to get rid of the chronic diarrhoea they left me with). I would say that it took me around 4 months to feel even remotely human again, my immune system was wiped and for some time I picked up everything going. Even taking the dogs for a short walk wiped me out for hours, there's no way I'd have risked travelling.

Your lungs are precious assets. There will be other chances to do this.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/07/2025 20:50

I think your DH should go with DD. Seems by far the best option.

You obviously can’t go.

DH would be devastated not to go.

But it seems to me it’s clearly better for a child who will likely be healthy by Weds to go to Canada as planned than stay at home with a very sick mother. Then you can properly rest and recover. Hopefully insurance will pay out for your flight.

Dstoat · 13/07/2025 20:51

You really need to sort out proper travel insurance for when you do go!

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 13/07/2025 20:52

Megifer · 13/07/2025 18:52

Wednesday? You'll probably be ok by then 🤞

I've had walking pneumonia twice and was well on the mend after a couple of days on ABs.

Took me 6 weeks and 3 doses of antibiotics. The next step would have been to admit me to hospital. About 10 years ago now but my lungs never fully recovered. Same for others I know.

I have a chest infection and suspect it might be mycoplasma (walking pneumonia, having had it previously). I’m going to the GP tomorrow but I’m feeling very stupid now having got on a plane knowing how awful I feel with this, but also as PP mentioned the risk of PE and I have a clotting condition already, and the fact that the reason I didn’t see a GP abroad is because I had waited too long to see if I improved and I didn’t want to risk getting a not fit to fly. Doubling my aspirin tonight then!

So OP, recognising that I’m an absolute hypocrite and my only excuse being that all of the above is due to wanting to get home and deal with being poorly there, Trust me - having been in hospital abroad for a fortnight some years ago, being in hospital in a foreign country, even insured, even surrounded by family is an absolute pain in the arse, and is exactly why I wanted to get home and treated here.

Tetchypants · 13/07/2025 20:52

Of course your husband should still go, and I’d be pitching it to your daughter that it’s an adventure with daddy, and mummy will FaceTime every day.

Please make sure this isn’t ruined for your husband and his family. There is no reason for all three of you to miss out and your daughter will be fine without you.

Zoec1975 · 13/07/2025 20:54

no,I had it and was ill and in hospital,and weak for months after.not good advice.

Delatron · 13/07/2025 20:55

Wouldn’t it be good for the DH and DD to spend some time together if you’re normally with her 90 % of the time?

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 20:55

You'll get far more rest if he takes DD. Park yourself on the sofa for 2 weeks!

aredcar · 13/07/2025 20:57

Might it be good for DD to go with DH? If she spends 90% of her time with you then it might do her good to have this bonding time with her dad. She might initially be upset with feeling poorly but once she’s had lots of lovely cuddles from dad she might be fine with him and it’ll be really good for their relationship going forward

Superhansrantowindsor · 13/07/2025 20:59

you should be able to claim on your insurance. If you travel now and get ill your insurance won’t cover you and you’ll be in a right pickle.

Pleasealexa · 13/07/2025 20:59

Assume you are on antibiotics now? They should work quite quickly. Did the Dr give you a time period? I would not fit against Dr advice, that's high risk when flying to Canada

Have you had blood tests? They usually test CRP markers and make sure they are going down.

Jabberwok · 13/07/2025 21:09

There is no way your travel insurance would pay out if something goes wrong. I worked in insurance for 20 and even I hate travel insurance companies and their desire to pay nothing.

You could end up with a bill for £000s and, God forbid, you die they won't even pay to bring your body home. That would also.run into £000s given the requirements to safely transport a corpse.

So you might end up being cremated in Canada...but you get on that plane!!

Crazyworldmum · 13/07/2025 21:14

Are you medicated and for how long when you fly ?

Oceann · 13/07/2025 21:16

I knew someone who died after getting a pulmonary embolism on a 5 hour flight.
She had a chest infection and it was incredibly tragic, I absolutely wouldn’t risk it

Violetmouse · 13/07/2025 21:20

If you want to consider still going you need to do two things

  1. Get an appointment with a doctor for review - possibly via private GP as it would be.primarily to ask for travel advice - the day before you're due to travel for the most up to date possible advice on whether or not you're fit to fly. With the information you've given no one on this thread can give you advice - we don't know what your oxygen sats are, what your lung function is,.any idea of how unwell you are.

  2. Speak to your travel insurance, ensure that they are fully aware of your situation and will cover you to go. Do not risk going without medical cover, you risk losing tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of pounds.

Sending hugs, it's a rubbish situation

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 13/07/2025 21:24

I'm so, so sorry Op. What a miserable situation! I do hope you and your little girl are on the mend soon.

Namechangean · 13/07/2025 21:28

It’s not till Wednesday you must have started your antibiotics yesterday, you’ll feel loads better by Wednesday

BarilynBordeaux · 13/07/2025 21:29

Flew a three hour with just a little sinus infection when I was younger and dumber and straight blew an eardrum out. Genuinely some of the worst pain of my life. Can’t imagine flying with pneumonia for all the reasons given by PPs, glad you’re not risking it. I totally get why your DH is devastated but he’d be more devastated by trying to fly your body back so. Altitude/ Cabin pressure and sickness combo is simply no joke.

DreamTheMoors · 13/07/2025 21:31

The
desire
over
common sense — is jaw dropping.

RoseAlone · 13/07/2025 21:32

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:44

Our child not going isn’t really an option, it would devastate DH. He could go with just her and I rest at home but she’s still not 100% well herself and she would be extremely distressed being separated from me and likely crying throughout the flight.

With respect that's an excuse to justify you going. Your daughter will be absolutely fine without you. She'll be with her dad and family with lots of excitement. You tagging along when you're ill would be selfish and unfair to everyone around you and crew and passengers on the flight too.

Do you actually have travel insurance?

Topsyturvy78 · 13/07/2025 21:33

You would be taking a very big risk. Doctor wouldn't give you confirmation saying your fit to fly and insurance would be void. If you've got cover on the cost of the booking you should be able to change the date no problem. I always get cover DC both have health conditions have had to postpone holidays a few times.

RoseAlone · 13/07/2025 21:35

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:53

Already know travel insurance wouldn’t cover it sadly, but completely fair enough. I know it is quite idiotic to go.

DH’s sister and her partner have booked the 2 weeks annual leave especially, that’s all they get for the entire year. And their kids would be back at school if we went later in the year. It’s a huge pain in the fucking arse. Can’t believe it. Covid still ruining so many things for us years later. I’m quite angry. I got it from a twat at work sneezing in the canteen.

And yet you're willing to pass it onto countless others? Charming.

BrendaSmall · 13/07/2025 21:38

OreoBiscuitPie · 13/07/2025 18:53

Already know travel insurance wouldn’t cover it sadly, but completely fair enough. I know it is quite idiotic to go.

DH’s sister and her partner have booked the 2 weeks annual leave especially, that’s all they get for the entire year. And their kids would be back at school if we went later in the year. It’s a huge pain in the fucking arse. Can’t believe it. Covid still ruining so many things for us years later. I’m quite angry. I got it from a twat at work sneezing in the canteen.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

omg!
covid isn’t recognised no more!
Theres no testing
To say you caught it because someone sneezed is ridiculous!!!
Youve more than likely caught it from your daughter or vice versa!!

Marmight · 13/07/2025 21:40

Why on earth have you not arranged to meet up with SIL and family in another country before now?? No need to worry about the palaver/cost of being getting a visa for Canada.
Or can SIL not travel outside of Canada for some reason?