To think most men would cheat if they knew they’d never be caught?

[OneMauveMentor]

It’s not about love - it’s about opportunity, ego, and lack of consequences. “Good men” are often just men who haven’t had the chance (yet). Loyalty when untested isn’t real loyalty.

Oh God no, never met her. He decided to tell her everything when they were friends and now they are dating.

I have been married a while but have never cheated, to be honest I just couldn’t be bothered to cheat.

Is this unusual?

But it's reality
Men are primarily hunters

Of course they would.

No, I haven’t made up a sweeping generalisation. I’ve given my opinion about red flags detailed on posts on Mumsnet about cheating and nothing more. And I wasn’t even talking to you in the first place.

I was going to quote this. Look at any war, where men are given the opportunity to act with impunity. A lot worse than ‘cheating’ happens.

I'd argue that it very much isn't 'just dating' if a single person knowingly dates and sleeps with somebody who is married or otherwise attached.

Of course, if they have no idea that their date is not also single, they are also very much wronged by a despicable cheat and liar - and blameless.

Many men would. But so would many women.

You're right, it's not the same for women. Typically for us, our supply of potential sexual partners far exceeds our demand, so the offer of extra marital sex is unlikely to have any rarity or novelty value to us in the same way it does for the average man. For a woman to want to cheat there would usually need to be a stronger incentive than just an offer from a man discretion guaranteed. Because, while the average Joe would probably be facing a once in a lifetime opportunity, his female equivalent wouldn't.

I think they would. Lots of women too but nearly all men.

If a woman is married to an average Joe with a low body count maybe she would be gagging for some excitement 😄

That just reminds me of the famous quote attributed to Churchill.

The one where he offers a woman £1m to sleep with him, and she gratefully accepts; then he says "No, actually I'll just give you a tenner", and she angrily asks him just what kind of woman he thinks she is.

For me, if you would cheat - whether it be with Ronaldo or with Rab C. Nesbitt - you're just a cheat, simple as that.

Somebody who isn't a cheat would turn down both of them - because they aren't a cheat.

Nope

I know more women who have cheated in real life then men. They are just better at hiding it.

In answer to the OP no, I don't think most would. At least not where I am.

Who or what my husband is has honestly nothing to do with it. I can think of nothing less exciting than shagging some randomer. Or some male model or Christian Ronaldo. If I want to shag other people I have ample opportunity (and there is nothing special about me, other than the fact I have a vagina) and I am absolutely free to shag whomever I want. I just wouldn’t do it when I was married, whether I would be caught or not. Being caught, for me, isn’t the problem. Living with myself would be the problem. And, like it or not, the massive majority of men do not think like that.

I dont think it sounds right that it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for a man to cheat. Plenty men cheat (even if it means paying money for it) it's not hard for men to get sex either. He would have to be very average not to have opportunities. Not to mention plenty young men get plenty and then once older they settle down as the novelty can wear off for them too.

I find the more disturbing questions are what percentage of men would rape and what percentage would have sex with minors if there were no consequences. I think there have been surveys on both questions, one of which is posted on the thread - and the results aren’t great.

Personally I wouldnt take much from a study that was based on the answers of under 100 college students. Whose to say they even took the task seriously.

I think we need to start adding bromide to mens tea again.

Not sure about this when you have women like Bonnie Blue or whatever her name was whose sole ambition was to shag 150 men in one night!

It was a very small.study of 86 men who were university students in one university in the US and we don't know which questions were asked or how they were interpreted it's not a representative study

Was it peer reviewed?!!

It was a very small study of men from just one college who were given course credits as an incentive for participating. And if you read the article I linked it seems the methodology was pretty dodgy - e.g. the results don't really match the conclusion. Basically clickbait.

1/3 of women would apparently commit murder if they could get away with it and 70% would cheat according to similar studies.

And the biggest DV metastudy of all time (analysing 1700 peer reviewed studies) found that women commit more DV than men. If you believe a dodgy study of 86 college boys then surely you'll believe the biggest metastudy of peer reviewed DV studies to date.

You are joking?
Get yourself to a Butlins weekender or something similar and just watch

Agree, based on the much higher rate of open / casual / such like relationships in the male gay community.
i.e. Where there’s two men involved (at a time) and they’re more likely to think similarly to each other about sex / relationships, the above is the outcome.

I used to work in very posh 5* hotel. And yes, 99% of "lovely and caring" husbands, fathers, partners ARE CHEATING. We had regular guests who were inviting wife with kids for their "work" stay, then flying back with family and returning after few days to spent time with other women. I used to have one guy on my section (I was a maid) who paid me £200 every time that I would check every single corner and would make sure his wife won't find his mistress underwear, lipstick,etc (he used the same room all the time).