Grannies in the same room, at the same time

[LaudCodec]

When I was kid, my grandparents were completely separate. I never saw them in the same room as one another, and they never really mentioned each other. There was no animosity, they were just separate.

Then one day both my grandmothers were in the same room, at the same time, and spoke to each other. I forget why but it’s indelibly etched in my psyche. My God, it was like when Pacino and De Niro met on screen for the first time in “Heat”. Like two separate worlds colliding.

Can anyone relate?

Yeah, this. Always for birthdays and often at Christmas and such. Whole family, both sides.

We do the same, everyone at ours for DDs things, and DH's parents and mine live 4 hours apart (well, my hometown is 4 hours away from DHs, where we live).

It's nice for kids to have all their family together. I find it odd that other families don't do that, although I'm very aware that my MIL doesn't like being in the same room as her other two DILs parents, and believe that feeling is mutual. She likes mine though so all good for me! So maybe it's more common than I think.

I remember when my mum and MIL were together, maybe Christmas or a birthday and my 2yr old (or thereabouts) DD suddenly clocked they were both there. She was so surprised and said 'two nanas!!' Like they did indeed live in two different universes. So cute.

this is amazing - mine were drinking buddies, had to be to endure my dad 😂

My DD once walked up to my mum after everyone had been round and said "Nanny, where's.....erm....other(??) Nanny?".

Like she had suddenly realised there was, in fact, two Nanny's and didn't know how to differentiate.

I understand what you mean. Also had the odd thing of mum's parents divorcing before I was born. So always found it odd that grandmother knew grandfather's parents well from when they were married but obviously when I was growing up I never saw her at that side of the families functions. I felt like she shouldn't know them.
Feels like when friends from different groups meet and it feels odd. Almost like when you're with one group you forget the other exists 😂

I don't ever remember my grannies meeting. Totally separate. Although my mum fell out with her mum when I was wee so that didn't help. But my dad's mum would occasionally ask how our other gran was and that ended up with hushed silences and awkward atmospheres so eventually that stopped.

In fact... apart from my wedding, there's never been a time when both sides of my family were in the same room together.

Yes same! But when they got together they got on like a house on fire. It just wasn’t right!

I can really relate to this. I’ve never thought of this as weird before, but my grandparents lived pretty close to each other, but I seldom if ever saw them together. I’ve just googled the distance- it was a 35 min walk/5 minute drive (though none of them drove- they were from a generation where this was not unusual). They had a healthy respect for each other but were quite formal and referred to the other as ‘mr and Mrs X’. But also they had multiple other kids and grandkids so there wasn’t really any need/occasion for them to get together.

My paternal gps lived gar abroad, in a time before budget airlines. My gf died before my parents got married (ddad's second marriage), and my gm didn't come over for it. I'm not sure my grannies ever met.

This.. kids are so funny!
Love the OP, I felt the same. Also never mixed my family and inlaws etc

Yes! I used to think it was so weird that both my grandmas were these huge figures in my life that I loved so much but they only saw each other once a year on Christmas Day - and then they’d be so weirdly stilted with each other.

I have just realised that I don't think my two sets of grandparents met either! I am not even sure that my maternal grandparents were at my parents' wedding as it was a very quiet affair close to where my paternal grandparents lived. Both my GMs lived with us at one time or another, but not at the same time!

My grandmas lived in opposite directions from our house and nowhere near each other. They both came to stay every Christmas and shared the spare room. They used to go on holiday together, and talked on the phone regularly. It was my mums mum who raised the alarm when my dad’s mum died because she tried calling and there was no answer when she would never have been out at that time, so she phoned my dad immediately. They are both long gone, but I have very fond memories of the two of them. My sister and I used to take our stockings in to them on Christmas morning. She’d get into bed with one grandma, me with the other, and we’d open our presents with them. I haven’t thought about that for ages, I’m feeling very sentimental now 🥰

I only remember one grannie - the other died when I was a baby. I was however very surprised to find lots of family photos in which they both featured, in the same room. Nice that my parents involved them both.

No, but I can see how that woukd be very strange for you OP. I come from a culture that's all about community and I've found it more weird and sad that this is normal for white British people (and now my young DC). I've always thought it's lovely for families to mix and mingle, but it's definitely becoming less and less common

God, yeah I remember this. I also remember asking my Dad if he had a mummy and whether I had ever seen her and if she knew me. When I realised it was Nana my tiny mind was blown!

On another note, when my DD1 was tiny she asked me if me and DH were brother and sister when we were little. Ew, ew and no, of course not! 🤢

It was rare and weird when it happened to me. My grandma was quite patronising to my granny. But I also know there was some history there. My granny told my mum she had to stop my dad doing something which would change the course of his life. My mum mentioned this to my grandma, who tore a strip off her and said she had better not or there would be trouble. Granny never forgave mum or grandma for that!

When it comes to my mum and MIL, they rarely get together but when they do it’s funny to watch them trying to outdo each other in the grandmother wars.

My grandparents lived many miles from each other, but we lived close to one set of grandparents. When the other set came to visit us we’d sometimes meet up all together. I remember as a young child my grandmothers being offended that I called both of them ‘Nan’ and trying to make me decide which one of them was really ’Nan’ and what I called the other one!! I couldn’t understand what they were trying to get at as if I ever needed to differentiate them I’d use their surnames and this was the first time I’d seen them together at the same time (and been conscious of it - it presumably happened when I was a baby too!!) I just remembered being baffled by them!
i didn’t have the same problem with the male grandparents as one was Grandad and one was Grampa!

My parents and my husband’s parents will never interact. In fact our kids see their grandparents individually most of the time as both sides are divorced or separated.
My own grandparents did though - I remember my two grandads working together on larger DIY jobs, popping in for a cuppa etc. and joint Sunday lunches.

My grandparents were absolutely wonderful on both sides. They made my childhood. My own parents haven’t come remotely close and in fact are both massively disappointing parents and grandparents. I feel sad for my DC that they don’t have the warmth and love of an extended family like I did.

I don't think it is unusual.

For a lot of grandparents probably the only time they might meet is at the wedding of the parents, or at the birth of the grandchildren.