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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Grannies in the same room, at the same time

170 replies

LaudCodec · 11/07/2025 16:21

When I was kid, my grandparents were completely separate. I never saw them in the same room as one another, and they never really mentioned each other. There was no animosity, they were just separate.

Then one day both my grandmothers were in the same room, at the same time, and spoke to each other. I forget why but it’s indelibly etched in my psyche. My God, it was like when Pacino and De Niro met on screen for the first time in “Heat”. Like two separate worlds colliding.

Can anyone relate?

OP posts:
PolitePoster · 11/07/2025 18:35

I can't remember any times when my paternal grandparents were in the same room as my gran. It obviously happened, though, as they're all on mum and dad's wedding photos and I have a photo of me, as a baby, being held by my gran, whilst she's sitting on the front step of my other grandparents' house. I think it was after my christening, judging by my long frilly dress.
Gran was a teetotal methodist, whilst my paternals enjoyed a knees up and granda brewed his own beer!

Zanatdy · 11/07/2025 18:38

Mine were together on special occasions. Including when one Nana passed away, the other Nana came to the chapel of rest with us all.

Judiezones · 11/07/2025 18:39

My grandparents met each other at Christmas and Easter at our house. They got on well, but it was very formal, they called each other Mr., Mrs.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 11/07/2025 18:41

My grandparents lived a day's travel apart from one another so the only time they met up was if one set was visiting us.

SternJoyousBee · 11/07/2025 18:42

I remember being shocked to discover that my Great Aunts and my Gran were all sisters. I never saw my Gran outside of her own house with the exception of once seeing her at hospital) and I don’t recall ever being in her company at the same time as my aunts.

NewsdeskJC · 11/07/2025 18:43

I only had 1 set of grandparents. My kids grew up knowing both sets and we regularly came together for celebrations. In fact my parents went out with my inlaws without us!

BundleBoogie · 11/07/2025 18:45

Now you mention it, I don’t remember seeing my grandparents in the same place. They only lived a mile or so from each other and obviously met at my parents wedding but I can’t remember them ever interacting. We just saw them separately.

Interesting OP.

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 11/07/2025 18:50

I only had my one grandmother. But I am so pleased that my mum and MIL get on well and we regularly have dinners all together.

Dolphinnoises · 11/07/2025 18:54

Yes! My Nan was a widow before my Granny, but the year after my Grandad died they both came for Boxing Day - I was 21. It was super weird, not least the fact that they started bickering a bit…

Throwaway28 · 11/07/2025 19:03

NO

RamsaySnowsSausage · 11/07/2025 19:08

Mine lived close to each other so did meet but one definitely felt 'above' the other. And she was to be fair😂

My mum and MIL meeting was very strange, though. Two of the nicest, calm, unproblematic women ever but the tension was bizarre. They were like cats when they puff up their fur and stand sideways to look bigger! Everyone noticed but both later completely denied anything was up. Weird.

PerfectlyNormalOwlFreeMorning · 11/07/2025 19:11

growinguptobreakingdown · 11/07/2025 16:29

I love this!Only one set of grandparents here, but maybe the feeling is a little like when you see a teacher out of school when you are very young.

I still get that feeling 😂

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 11/07/2025 19:21

LaudCodec · 11/07/2025 16:21

When I was kid, my grandparents were completely separate. I never saw them in the same room as one another, and they never really mentioned each other. There was no animosity, they were just separate.

Then one day both my grandmothers were in the same room, at the same time, and spoke to each other. I forget why but it’s indelibly etched in my psyche. My God, it was like when Pacino and De Niro met on screen for the first time in “Heat”. Like two separate worlds colliding.

Can anyone relate?

I’ve said before that my family and DHs family have never met. We’ve been together for nearly 20 years and known each other for 30. Have 2 kids.

Would be very weird if they met now! Think the kids would feel like you do.

Namechangean · 11/07/2025 19:22

Not completely the same but my DGM divorced her husband before I was born, he remarried, died a few years after I was born but his new wife was also DGM2 in my family. My DGM hated that, we didn’t mention DGM2 in front of her, I remember one day she heard me refer to DGM2 and she was fuming, said she’s not your nan!

Much to my surprise when they finally were in the same room they hit it off. Became best friends and spent the last few years of my nans life drink whiskey and iron bru together every Friday night. That deffo felt like separate worlds colliding

Ilovepastafortea · 11/07/2025 19:25

I am lucky enough to have been married to DH for many years.

I was worried about introducing my MIL to my mother as my mother was a socialist & stood as prospective MP for the Labour Party in an unwinnable SW seat in the 1980's. She was chair of the SW Labour Party & a big cheese in her day.

My MIL was a dyed in the wool Tory & had opinions that I knew my mother would not agree with.

However, on meeting, they discovered that they had a lot in common - they both loved Gilbert & Sullivan (G&S) operettas, they both played Bridge, Scrabble, crosswords, Countdown etc.

Once DH & me started having children, they shared the love that they had for GC & celebrated the successes of their shared GC.

They became the best of friends as they shared principals - they were just coming from them from a different direction. For example: they both agreed that people who can should work & those who genuinely can't should be supported.

As life went on & they were widowed became unable to drive, we would get a summons from one, or other of them, suggesting that DH or me accompany them & drive them to a G&S matinee. We would discover that they liked to have a G&T before the performance, a large glass of wine in the interval & a 'snifter' ato close the afternoon. I was happy to do this as I'm also a fan of G&S, but dealing with a couple of tiddly elderly ladies was sometimes a challenge(!)

Both of our mothers are long dead. However, DH & me have been remembering how we would be called upon to transport one of our mothers to the another's house during Wimbledon as they enjoyed watching it together whilst they sank a load of G&Ts saying: 'Just a small one for me dear' x5 (yeah as if...) + always a brandy in coffee or a milky drink for the road.

Again dealing with tiddly old ladies. But they'd had a good day, I can't & would never complain.

They became the best of friends because they were able to put political differences aside & focus on what they had in common.

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/07/2025 19:31

Oooh yes... the day Great Auntie M met Grandma.... eyes widen at the thought..

Great Auntie M was my fathers closest relative once his Mum died (and to my knowledge his mum only met my Mums mum at their wedding, where Opinions were Formed..) and had been very close to him growing up, a big influence in his life in many respects...

GAuntieM was a solid, dependable, forthright Dales woman - somewhat ahead of her time (she introduced my Father to hiking, caving and camping, and sewed his first tent!). She spoke her mind, wasn't remotely posh, could put away a sizeable Sunday roast and was generally, fabulous.

Grandma, thought rather a lot of herself, very posh, in many respects the absolute opposite, and in particular absolutely despised the North, regional accents (she'd worked very hard to remove all traces of Brixton from hers!) and any hint of 'coarseness' (ie, a willingness to say BLOODY or BUGGER if necessary) in a person.

I was quite young the day they met for what I suspect was only the second time - the tension was palpable. Grandma criticised everything she could (GAM was a great seamstress and made us a lot of clothing. Grandma would just knit us a barbed wire wool jumper annually and insist they'd soften up - they never did, they rubbed me raw even through a shirt!). Fortunately it was the last day of her visit and first day of GAM's visit and as she was seen onto her train back to the civilisation of Herne Bay by my Mum, GAuntieM exclaimed, in broad Yorkshire:

'Oohhhhhhhhhhh aye then...er cats got a fat rat int coyle oyle!'...

The meaning of which I broadly grasped to be 'she's not as posh as she thinks she is' but have never fully understood!

Any time anyone raised the subject of Grandma after that we just got a sucking of the dentures and 'ooooooooooh that woman' and the subject would be changed swiftly!

KassandraOfSparta · 11/07/2025 19:41

I can totally relate. My dad's parents lived an hour north of where we lived, my mum's mum 90 minutes south. (Mum's dad died before I was born). There was NEVER an occasion where all three were in the same room! Just didn't happen. Two very separate families.

Poodlelove · 11/07/2025 19:45

Yes this is true for me too , never in the same house even at Christmas

Ilovelisting · 11/07/2025 19:55

nomas · 11/07/2025 16:36

It’s sad that anyone at all whimsical on MN is labelled as strange.

I’ve noticed this too and I hate it.

AlmanbyRoadtrip · 11/07/2025 20:04

It was rare, but not unheard of. We called it the Double Granny Whammy. Once we even managed a Triple Granny Whammy.

twobabiesandapup · 11/07/2025 20:05

Candleabra · 11/07/2025 16:28

I do understand what you mean though I’ve never thought about it like that before. I suspect the only time my grandparents all met was just before and at my parents wedding. Growing up, I considered both families completely separate entities.

Completely this for me too!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/07/2025 20:05

I remember seeing my grandparents together a few times, but they lived very far from each other so it wasn't often.

My parents and in laws see each other a couple of times a year and my children often celebrate their birthdays with all four grandparents present. I think my mum and FIL text each other quite often too.

MarioLink · 11/07/2025 20:07

Mine only got together for weddings, christenings and funerals.

Sunholidays · 11/07/2025 20:07

Totally I can relate.

I don't think they ever mentioned each other!