Grannies in the same room, at the same time

[LaudCodec]

When I was kid, my grandparents were completely separate. I never saw them in the same room as one another, and they never really mentioned each other. There was no animosity, they were just separate.

Then one day both my grandmothers were in the same room, at the same time, and spoke to each other. I forget why but it’s indelibly etched in my psyche. My God, it was like when Pacino and De Niro met on screen for the first time in “Heat”. Like two separate worlds colliding.

Can anyone relate?

Sounds totally normal to me! Didn’t grow up near either set of grandparents so no way to see them all at the same time. My kids are the same. I find the enmeshed families thing weirder!

Yes! I remember this happening when I was about 12. Grandma 1 was kind of Hyacinth Bucketesque and Grandma 2 was more like Patsy from Ab Fab, I remember thinking this isn’t going to work but it did 😅 I miss them both dearly.

The thing that made it more odd was that there was no animosity or bad feeling. My granddad on one side knew my grandparents on the other when they were young (grew up on same street) and he always spoke really highly, and fondly about them. They just rarely crossed paths after their respective kids got married!

Mother and MIL have met:
When we got engaged
At the wedding
DS1 christening
DS2 funeral
DD christening
DS1's wedding

They live 380 miles apart and have nothing whatsoever in common. MIl is a former primary deputy head and old fashioned in style and substance and a bit chippy because she was poor as a child. Mother is a former ballerina/model, stylish (even in her 80s), thrice married and a party girl who always had money.

Left for too long, they could kill each other rather than snipe.

My grandparents lived next street over from each other. Were friendly and got on perfectly fine when passing which was very often and the only time I ever remember them being in the same room was at my grandads funeral, and actually I think it might have just been my grandad that attended. Dad was in hospital for 9 months and both sets of grandparents visited, but never together or at the same time. None of us(siblings) had big birthday parties or weddings at home so no extended family attended.

I can relate, then again my mum left my dad for another man when I was 3 so the 2 sides probably didn't have any reason to be in the same room

My grans were good friends fortunately. We hosted them both for Sunday lunch every week throughout their lives and they socialised together without us. I think it's lovely!

Yes! I can actually, and my parents were already separated/divorced and I was an adult too. My father was from another continent and my maternal grandmother lived in another state so they just were totally separate.

We’re very lucky in that we have lovely relationships with everyone who’s also a grandparent to our many grandchildren.

My grandmothers had very different lives, my mum thought they would not get on and was ill with nerves before they first met. They got on very well, and when one could not visit for Christmas after an operation, the other said how much she was missed.

My parents and in laws get on very well even though they live thousands of miles apart on different continents. They visit us at the same time and independently of us visit each other.

I can just about remember seeing my 2 grandmothers together when I was about 4. I know it must have happened as I have a photo to prove it. Only happened the once as my maternal grandmother died about 6 months later.

this is my experience and my children will be in the same category. My grandparents were polite to each other but mum was from a wealthy London family and dad was from a hard working poorer family. I loved experiences with both sets of grandparents but they were so different - trips to museums and theatre with Granny compared to bus trips and picnics on the beach with Nanna. I loved them both dearly but from different worlds.

my parents and in-laws are awkward together so we avoid it. Mostly due to mil and her jealousy/anxiety. Last time they were together was at dds’ christening and in laws kept dtds and wouldn’t let my mum have a cuddle (I mean surely with twins there could have had one each?). Dh finds my parents much easier going to host so we see them more (and they moved closer).

Ha! I've never thought about this.

My paternal Grandfather died before I was born but my paternal Nana and my maternal Grandma and Grandad actually lived on the same estate and they obviously knew each other but, do you know what? I never ever saw them together, in the same room!! 😮

My dad's mum died when I was 7, so I was quite young when she was around. I don't think she was very nice. I remember that we would be visiting my mum's parents and then pop by my Nana's afterwards but I would always beg to stay with my Grandma.

Now you come to mention it, i never saw both of my Grandmothers in the same room!

I only remember a handful of times my grandparents met, and that was at Christmas when the younger pair hosted all of us for lunch.

My parents divorced when I was young, and I discovered a long time afterwards that younger grandma used to call older grandma once a week for a chat. In fact it was her call that brought older grandma round after she'd passed out - younger grandma called 999 and they admitted her for weeks. She ended up in a care home where younger grandma used to visit in secret (my dad had forbidden contact after the divorce) but she was told in no uncertain terms not to come to her funeral.

Families are strange.

My mum lived 5 mins away from my in laws. My in laws always invited my mum to family get togethers, Sunday lunches and they we all at all of the kids parties & school events. After my Fil died my mum and Mil became really good friends and companions up untill my Mil died.

My maternal grandparents were very good to my paternal grandmother, although they didn’t socialise much.

My parents and in-laws are VERY different. They exchange Christmas cards etc but have only been together for a handful of family events. My dad and FIL sometimes chat when they bump into each other in the supermarket (they live 4 miles apart) but my MIL is a very, erm, unusual person and doesn’t have social skills.

Al Pacino and Robert de Niro was a huge thing for me.

I only ever had one Nanny.

I'm not having this nonsense.

It's like that for my dc. I doubt they have any memories of both sets of dgps together. The first time their sets of grandparents-to-be met was at our wedding. The most recent time they met was 20y ago, at one of the dcs' 1st birthday party. MIL has been down a couple of times since then, and DM has enjoyed chatting with her.

It is weird.

But then our parents have weirdly different attitudes. My parents' attitude is "They're family now, we would like to get to know them and try to be friends." Dh's patents' attitude is "Of course we'll be polite, but why would our dc marrying each other mean we should be friends?"

No idea what our children think about it. They probably just accept it. It's their normal.

No, it was the eve of our wedding.

Well. My dad’s mum died before I was born, so it would have been hard.

I had one living grandparent on each side. They met once a year. I could never understand why they didn’t get married to each other so both of my parents would have two parents. It seemed the logical option seeing as they seemed to get on ok.

Mine were the same. Wildly different - class/personality/accents and it was like they existed on different planes of reality. I don’t actually know if they ever met after I was born

Similar but with my parents. They divorced when I was 2 so I have no memories of us as a family. During my difficult teenage years they thought maybe it would help for the three of us to spend Christmas Day together. Weird. Not helpful. A bit creepy