Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

I'd say crack on - it'll be 2 fewer people for the NHS and the government generally to have to worry about when you start getting old and ill.

Or would you continue to draw your UK state pension, and head back to the UK once you need health care that you can't afford in the new country you've chosen to live in?

THIS.

This is the reality, but is far far easier to blame benefits, immigrants or each other.

OP would be better to switch off social media and go about your life, people go on and on about things that have no real impact on their lives-

Boats coming over, crime, Wokeism, Terrorism, its all you ever fucking hear, day in day out- but take a good look at your life, kids at Uni , I assume you own your own home, sounds like you have a life quality better than most of the entire planet.

We live in the 6th economy country in the world, people risk death to come here for the opportunities you and your children have. Why not apprciate what you have?

Far , far too many people in this country have become 'red pilled' into believing we live in cesspool with no fucking idea what real hardship is.

There's Sharia law in East London? It seems to have passed me by.

Local Asian shop is open 365 days of the year, being the hardworking man that he is.

I have family in 5 countries and spend considerable amount of time there (Europe, US and ME). Uk is the worst to be in as middle class at the moment compared to 10 years ago. It does not mean that there are no problems in the other countries, it means that in the UK living conditions for the middle classes have declined the most than the others I know. It is still good for very rich people, although the non-dom regime change has also made it not as good and excellent for people on low income as the amount of benefits is not comparable to any other country, other than the nordics where benefits are good for everybody, including the middle class.
so I understand as a middle class person it is very grim, but it might be worst in other countries just they don’t see it that way so much as it has not been declining so steeply.

politicians have lied on Brexit and even now they are not communicating the reali impact, although ppl are feeling it. It has been a very bad decision and it will go down in history as such. It is also too complex to revert and no one wants to admit to be wrong, especially the people who voted for it.

said that, select a country where people like you can do better than the uk. From what you write you don’t work and are middle class, so Spain, Portugal, Greece, Italy and theUAE could be good as they have good health facilities (better than then uk even the private one!) and some of them have good tax regime for pensioners. If you were working with small kids it would be different and you would need to select different countries..,

All you can do is look at your realistic options @Tanyasfootspa

Where can you go first?

There are entry requirements for all countries, and the more desirable the country the pickier they can be.

You can effectively buy residential visas, for the US they are $5million each, cheaper elsewhere obviously, if your kids are at university you are what 50s ish, that limits your options a lot because statistically you will begin to start needing more healthcare, which you might have to pay.

But if you have the cash, and think it would be better put towards living somewhere else rather than using it just for holidays, escaping etc. even if you have say a private pension bringing in £80K a year for you both that won't go far if you are having to pay for everything elsewhere.

So look at your options carefully, and see what is required, language, health, property renting or ownership barriers. It's not easy.

Do you have any route to get dual-EU passports? - because that is our plan, I can enter as a spouse. We want to retire in Italy, and have suggested to our children to look at moving at the beginning of their working lives and start to build up a life elsewhere. So we are not expecting to live in the same country as any potential grandchildren, and with the birthrate dropping and cost of living and housing uncertainty I would say grandchildren are only 50/50 at best nowadays, possibly, less in favour of having them! But that's not our choice.

Alternatively you could look at moving to a part of the UK that suits you better, which would be the much easier and cheaper option.

I am worried about the number of youngsters leaving. Within my children’s university groups and the cul-de-sac we live on - two have gone to Australia (including a doctor), one has gone to New Zealand, three are in the Middle East, one in Denmark, one in Italy, two to Canada and now my son and girlfriend are talking about moving to Portugal. That seems like a lot of mid/late 20’s professionals who have made moves already. Oh and fellow teacher and her family are moving back to India next year.

The UK is a turning into giant public sector with unaffordable pensions, it feels like the junior doctors are permanently on strike, and there is an exploding benefits bill to be paid for.

We're considering this Op, the tax burden now on the working classes is ridiculous. There's no incentive to earn more, and make my business grow. I'll end up being worse off! We're considering the Middle East for DH's work, or Portugal. We know plenty of people considering it too at the moment, all top earners... this is what happens when you keep penalising those that work/high earners and keep giving money away.

I know plenty of people who purposefully don't go over 16 hours a week of work, even though they could, as their UC is more worthwhile than working. I know a mum at school who doesn't work at all, has 4 kids and gets over £3k a month, it's a shit show here now.

@Notfinanciallyresponsibleforyou yep
we want our kids to leave as well - once they are through university, or even perhaps do further uni overseas

Any post that mentions the NHS (a service that provides healthcare based on need not how deep your pockets are) in a moan could do well to appreciate that it could be a lot worse.

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-care/asthma-death-prescription-price-pharmacy-lawsuit-rcna210075

"In 2024, a 22-year-old from Wisconsin died after being unable to afford an asthma inhaler. Cole Schmidtknecht, who had battled chronic asthma since childhood, was denied his inhaler when he went to collect his prescription, as the price had jumped from $66 to over $500, a price he could not afford. He would die two weeks later."

And check out Stan Brock, he was a British philanthropist who set up a charity that provided healthcare to those in need. Initially created to treat people in the developing world, his service turned its attention to aid millions in america.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Brock_(philanthropist)

You do know that all schools get 5 training days in a year and if the school has a significant number of Muslim pupils it makes sense for them to use one or two of them for Eid.

And I’m sure that Sharia law has not replaced UK or English law anywhere in England. There are Sharia councils and some people may choose to follow Sharia principles but the only recognised legal system in England is the English one.

One of our youngster's friends is dual-canadian passport holder, his dream is to move off-grid to Canada, and as he's still only 14 he might actually be able to achieve this!

May I suggest Northern Ireland? Still in UK but not as bad as England. The weather can be a bit crap but when the sun shines it’s lovely to be surrounded by glorious beaches

We’re planning to leave the UK once DC finish school (3 years to go). My DH is not originally from UK, has lived in a number of different countries in 20s (as have I) so planning to go to his home country and other nearby countries where we have family and then move around a bit. He can speak 6 languages, I can speak his native language but would need to learn others (just have very basic level). We already have property in his home country but planning to invest in more in two other nearby EU countries although not completely decided. I can apply for the passport of his home country through marriage/residence or we’ve been looking at investor visas. Will do whatever is easiest then we can both freely live in EU.

We run businesses in UK and the out of control tax burden is pushing us to relocate everything abroad, businesses as well. A few of our employees who are remote have already left for Dubai / Spain / Portugal. Business partner has returned to Sweden (where she pays less tax than us). We plan to keep property in UK especially as kids might stay here for uni. Have family / friends in Canada, Australia and NZ but they’re too far for me and much more difficult to relocate to in my experience.

has 4 kids and gets over £3k a month
With fewer and fewer young people willing to have children we will soon have to pay people a wage of at least a grand a week to have even one child!

Didn’t Macron say that the problem is the uk is too attractive for migrants and that in France we are seen as the El Darodo as migrants get accommodated, benefits and can work.

It's an interesting question, and I certainly wouldn't rule out leaving the UK. A recent article about a UK couple who moved to France for 15 years and then decided to come back and found they couldn't afford to live in the same area gave me pause for thought. They worked out they were 500K worse off than they would be had they not moved. A lot of people move and then come back which also makes me question it. As a PP said, it's worth keeping a small property in the UK so that the option to return in the future is there if you want it.

We plan to keep property in UK especially as kids might stay here for uni
Hopefully we will soon change the law such that citizens of other countries are not allowed to own property in the UK.
This is part of why housing is unaffordable here!

I moved to Australia 16 years ago, the visa process took years and tens of thousands of dollars it wasn’t fun or easy
Also if you’re over aged 45 you’ve no hope of getting a permanent residency visa not sure about Canada but I’d assume it would be similar
Although that said my immigration lawyer said they’ll make exceptions if you’re an anaesthetist who’s willing to live in the outback?
But generally, you’ll need to be qualified in a job on the required skills list for several years and be under 45 when you apply
I love the UK still, my parents say it’s ruined but I thought it was lovely when I went back last year, Aus has lots of social issues, housing crisis and cost of living issues too, see an immigration lawyer to get a proper scope on what you can achieve is all I would say

OP, with the right skills and experience, you'll have no shortage of employers offering you extremely generous packages to relocate to any number of countries. If you're planning to return to the UK in the future, you need to make sure your wealth grows sufficiently quickly to enable you to have a great quality of life when you return. For this reason alone, I'd rule out NZ unless you're entering on a very generous expat salary.

What's the go with all these 'thinking of leaving the UK posts' on mumsnet. Its constant and this one appears to be written by AI.

I used to live in France 30 years ago and French people said this then. It’s always been much easier to work and settle in the UK. We also have lots of helpful charities to support people and government organisations are less bureaucratic so it’s just all round easier. You wouldn’t routinely be provided with an interpreter in France like you would here. I volunteer for a charity and like many organisations translation costs are going up all the time.

Don't underestimate the pull of grandchildren. My mum retired to the Caribbean but being on the other side of the world from GC was the decider in her moving back.

And unless you have £££ to invest, which developed country will accept you as a permanent resident at your age?

@humptydumptyfelloff That kind of community, with everyone chipping in, taking responsibility, and doing their part to improve everyone's lives, sounds amazing. Are you able to say which country it was?

Yes, I agree. You'll find problems no matter where you go. One thing's for sure, don't move somewhere hot. If climate change gets as bad as some predict, I would't want to be in Australia or Spain.

The UK does piss me off at times. It's suffocatingly crowded, and the houses are too small and too jammed together. Also, don't get me started on the traffic. But you can be sure you'll find new problems wherever you go. It's surprising, actually, how many people return from their 'new life abroad' disappointed. Many countries suffer from terrible corruption, for example. My plumber is from Malta and he often says that when he returns the level of corruption shocks him. Personally, if I was going to leave, I'd go to Canada. The Canadians have an affection for the Brits, and many of them are anglophiles. They certainly like us more than the Australians.

I really struggle with this too. I come from a working class background, I have worked incredibly hard with university and professional qualifications to create a “better life”. My partner and I have a high household income but the cost of living means we have a lower standard of living than our parents.

We are very fortunate to own our own home but the initial price and the interest of the mortgage is high, we simply aren’t able to have children yet because we can’t afford the childcare costs. Have to pay for a private dentist because there’s no NHS dentists left taking new patients in our new area after we moved to somewhere more affordable. Can’t get a doctors appointment as there aren’t enough GPs. Currently not having our recycling collected as we live in Birmingham so have to trek to the tip after logging on a midnight to get a slot. Feeling exceptionally fed up with it all too.