Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

With a British passport, unless you're minted or have a special 'in' somewhere (eg employability wise), it can't be easy to find somewhere great that'll take you, and presumably you'd have to pay for healthcare etc when you got there so could just as well go private here. Maybe there's a place you can go where the figures and the lifestyle stacks up, but if so, they must be swamped. Still, yanbu to be naffed off with how it is now. I just think it's a bigger issue beyond the UK and even though some places are definitely more sorted, whether they'd welcome us moving there is another thing entirely.

My neighbour has said this and that he's "pissing off to France"

Surely it depends on whether you can find work abroad - what is your plan?

Unless you have a specialist skill Canada are unlikely to take you. As others have said the cost of living in Canada is crazy. Yes wages are higher but a lot of young people are pretty much resigned to not being able to afford a house ever.

europe is pretty much impossible thanks to brexit.

australia would have similar requirements to Canada I think. Not sure about NZ. But ultimately you need to be below a certain age and have something to offer that country and no medical issues to stand a chance.

No need to be so snippy, or inaccurate. Is that how you talk to others in ‘real’ life?

Why do people get so defensive. The UK has issues and some people want to leave. No need to take it personally.

I can see we have got some things wrong here, but I don’t want to leave the UK as no other country appeals and I like a lot about life here still. I don’t mind if others hate it here, I understand why; you don’t have to have a blind loyalty to your country.

We aren’t a dictator state who have to swear loyalty to our state and leader, thank goodness!

I know someone who moved to the Canary Islands,bought a bar, put kids in school etc.
2 years later we caught up and all she could moan about was how in Spain kids have to buy their own books, schools dont provide, and how much that cost.
They moved back after 5 years.
Reality is expensive.

I visited a friend there and the food prices are eye watering. The tipping culture is beyond a joke too.

I bought a bottomless soft drink on a hot day, sales tax was added to the price then it was suggested I pay a 18% tip to the server who handed me an empty cup to go and fill my own drink from a machine. You cant even buy an ice cream from a kiosk they want 18% tip. Tipping ia ao ingrained.

Look at internet prices too and mobile contracts.

We are planning on leaving too.

Moving to france in 3 years time, once i've finished my masters and professional qualification.

Property is cheaper, and mum and I already have right to be there due to education, work etc already having been in france over a period of years.

I'm not looking forward to the mortgage malarky over there, but its still better than here, Theres more treatments available for my medical conditions than we have over here on the NHS, and with the "carte Vert" at about a quarter of the cost. Dentistry is actually available, and again, much, much cheaper

I'd go - make the most of it!

the mood in this country is generally oppressive and people are pissed off and miserable which has a knock on effect.

That's largely because of the media, particularly the right wing controlled outlets, who absolutely thrive of doom, gloom and division.

I was listening to Wes Streeting the other day and what struck me most was that he didn't pretend everything was great,laid out the difficult and complex challenges ahead, and set out how he planned to tackle them. In short he sounded like a grown up politician. He did however, mention some successes they've had with the NHS e.g., delivering 4.2 million extra appointments against a target of 2 million, ending the doctor strike (and he was very clear on why he was upset with the proposed new strikes) and cutting waiting lists by 250k or so. Maybe not save the day stuff but small steps in the right direction.

Was any of this reported in the MSM? Of course, not. We just can't be speaking positively about the country or the government now can we? Instead the mail, express and telegraph all went with a front page story about benefits from a right wing think tank. Cause why would you want to report something positive when you can whip the masses into a froth about the poor and disabled and sell more papers/clicks?

The saddest, and scariest, part is seeing just how many people fall for it every...single...day.

I also don't want to live somewhere where the majority of people will be Muslin.

I'm not religious... I don't want to live in a predominately religious country. Especially a religion which is so awful for women.

I'm not racist. I'm religionist.

@eqpi4t2hbsnktd which country are you talking about?

What's your plan OP have you actually looked into where you could go and what it's like? I'm dual national British born with NZ citizenship. There are things i love about the UK and there are things I love about NZ but equally there are things I don't like about both places. I've been back in the UK for over 10 years and might go back to NZ at some point but I don't need a visa as I have citizenship and all my kids have dual citizenship as well so can move freely between both places. It's not like being on holiday if you live somewhere else. My first year in NZ was so hard as everything from supermarkets, to banking to utilities was different and required so much effort to just get the basics in place as we knew nothing. You also have to take into account being able to afford to come back if you realise the grass isn't greener. My lovely friends in NZ often have the same moans as we do about costs and healthcare.

Which are the other four?

Different sources says different countries but the ones that pop up the most are the Nordics and Scandinavian countries, Canada, Switzerland, Singapore, New Zealand. UK is on some of the lists but not all.

Canada’s economy is dire. The Canadian dollar just gets weaker and weaker. Taxes are extremely high, some of which goes to support our “free” healthcare (brilliant if you’re seriously ill but waiting lists sometimes years long to see a specialist, have surgery or for things like scans, MRIs. No private healthcare. Impossible to buy a home, be it house or flat, unless you’re a multimillionaire (seriously!), lots of violent crime due to drugs and poverty, extreme lack of mental health care, COL and food prices have also gone stratospheric since Covid, minimum wage is too low to even begin to cover an adequate lifestyle. My DS (21) is currently working two jobs, seven days a week. Still, preferable to the US, which is (as everyone knows) a shitshow.

This would be impossible to gauge though.

I agree with you but would be cautious of moving to another country when your kids are still at Uni. Surely they may need to move home after Uni. There are thousands of graduates chasing jobs.
I have considered similar though.

I do agree that everywhere has issues- just different ones- we lived in Copenhagen for 20 months and certainly daily life had a better quality in my opinion , used to go to Sweden a lot, same there. They are more ordered societies, but people are expected to contribute - a lot!! So you would probably moan about tax - couples are expected to both work- hence all the cheap and good childcare and quite short working hours.

With his fluent French 🇫🇷 I hope (for his sake)

Do you actually qualify for visas to live in another country/have dual citizenship? Unless you are independently wealthy or highly skilled you are going to find out very difficult.

The UK. I live in East London. We have Sharia law in some parts round here already. The schools close for Eid etc.. there are literally no British shops on the high street...
Before you say "move" I was born here.

It is a global problem because social media is deranging everyone to the point that it's impossible for politicians to govern, and making everyone unhappy.

That said, I did move abroad (Portugal) and it was a brilliant decision for us. But so was getting off Twitter.

social media is deranging everyone

💯 And most, have no awareness of this, nor care about it if they do. Too busy gazing at their own navel. 🤢