Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

Off you go

@TheCookieCrumblesThisWay my friend in Calgary has had days in the -30's where she's been unable to get out of the house. She gets snowed in every year too.

This is really interesting reading, but the poor are never the people saying they are going to move. (At least on mumsnet).

I suppose they want to live somewhere that feels richer all round. Like services and schools seem nice and its cleaner.

“Spending time” in countries isn’t the same as living there long enough to get a proper feel of their issues….

UK, Ireland, Iceland, Australia, New Zealand.

This is the article I read but I've no idea how true any of it is. Although it does make sense that island nations would be safer places to be, if everything truly turns to shit.

https://earth.org/best-places-to-live-to-avoid-climate-change/

Funny isn’t it. Dd thinks it’s shit here in the U.K. and is desperate to move to Canada. Her Canadian bf isn’t overly impressed with Canada and wants to move here. His sister has already moved here. Grass is not always greener.

I’ve lived abroad in various places. Trust me, the UK is a shit hole compared to other first world countries. The attitude and the culture is better elsewhere. State pension the lowest in Europe. It’s gone to hell in a handcart. But some issues are global of course. Other places aren’t paradise.

Sounds like you are burned out - other countries are exactly the same but you might like the weather or the culture . Most of your ‘state of the country’ rant just seems to be social media/daily mail copy and paste rather than reality. When the social fabric that you may have benefited from falls apart after a decade of recession, Brexit, a pandemic and austerity, how do you expect people to feel? The LEAST the government can do is invest back into communities. On that note: Canada is worse 🤣

Well, it obviously depends on going beyond the tourist sites and getting into the real ins and outs, including having proper conversations with locals.

You aren’t living in those countries though, you are a visitor, it changes your mindset.

germany to me as a visitor seemed charming and quirky when everything shut on a holy day or a Sunday and shops where we were didn’t open beyond 6pm. I’d imagine that would wear thin quite soon if I lived there - and I live in a village in Lancashire so I’m not exactly in a metropolis.

I completely feel you OP and we felt the same. We did lots of research, travelled a bit, tried places with 'living there' eyes and.....I dunno.

Dubai was too bling, too hot, too consumerist. Aus was too far away, too little culture. Canada having massive COL crisis and issues not dissimilar to ours. We came back from our travels and had a new appreciation for the small things- local pubs, UK scenary, the culture we have, the humour.

I agree UK isnt perfect and some parts are WAYY worse than others. We have found a pocket that we love with good friends, its safe, free education and healthcare (when you start to look at the cost of this as an immigrant/ex pat it is HUGE!).

That doesn’t stop you moving though.

I think the OP and people in agreement on this thread help us understand what motivates those desperate people who cross the channel in small boats - they think their own countries are awful and are seeking a better life for themselves and their children.

I don’t agree, it’s understanding bureaucracy, how things function, what happens when you have an accident , need a gp , what schools are like etc. what it’s culturally like to work there. Chatting with the locals isn’t it.

Not considered it myself, but I work in the immigration field and it’s not as easy as you may think.
You would need an employer to sponsor one of you and that may not guarantee that the other may have rights to work in that country.

Various countries are stopping work permits being converted into indefinite leave to remain so you may find that moving can only be a temporary option and you’d have to return once the work ended.

just a few things to consider.

Plus I’m pretty convinced that nearly every country is currently a bit of a sh*tshow!

SM and the press are doing a really good job of convincing everyone that Britain is about to fall off a cliff (as if things were any better with Boris & co!) but in reality lots of countries are struggling at the moment. Canada has suffered so many strikes over the last year or so, for example.

Everything we are being drip fed is very reminiscent of the States pre Trump's second term. Just as with his first term, Trump paid Russian bot factories to flush SM sites with fake posts of support, lies about opponents and mass stoking of the fears of 'a certain' element of the population. Boris did the same before he got in.

We are being primed for a Reform government because the people who own the press want more tax breaks. The Reform manifesto is a shitshow of Nationalistic crap, but it's peppered with a loss of rights for workers and a tonne of tax breaks for the rich.

I choose to take the vast majority of the 'Britain is doomed' narrative with a skip load of salt.

I'm lucky to have friends living across the EU, Middle East, the US and Canada and nobody is singing from the roof tops right now.

This is exactly how I feel.

As an aside, I work for a local authority and, frankly, some of the entitled attitudes of members of the general public are shocking - coupled with generational attitudes to a life on benefits. I realise it's always the loudest, most obnoxious and demanding voices that are heard most and there are also many members of the public within our area who have to be coaxed into accessing help and support and exercising their rights to benefits etc who don't take up anywhere near the same amount of resources as those constantly demanding more and more and finding ways to tie up LA officers with petty complaints and arguments for imagined slights.

I listened to a phone call the other day whilst I was in the office between a service user and FOUR LA officers about 'home to school transport'. It went on for TWO HOURS. That's an entire working day tied up in hours across those four officers for ONE school refuser who, judging by everything I heard, is NEVER going back to school. Replicate that sort of scenario a few hundred times every month and there's not many people getting value for money from their local authority.

Yes, the real ins and outs.

As an immigrant in a foreign country there are lots of services like free healthcare you wouldnt have access too. The rest of Europe has the same problems as the UK. Do you read the news?! France has civil unrest, problems with their NHS and the school system and the rise of the extreme rights for example!!!

I’ve left the country to go into tax exile twice! The first time (Switzerland) was just a brilliant work opportunity. The second time (Abu Dhabi) I was just fucking sick of working 60 plus hours a week and receiving a lower hourly rate than I paid my cleaner, for the dubious privilege of being in a MC “profession”. Those years of higher salaries and low/no tax (pre-DC) were life changing. At the same time, I felt strongly about raising DC here in the UK when the time came. Saying that, I’m not sure I would have been as keen to come home to the UK as it is now ie pretty much a shithole except in the few remaining pricey areas.

What makes you think it might be better elsewhere? I remember being in France and watching a team of about 8 workers tidying up a tiny playground and grassed area. Too many people for the job - they mostly lolled about and chatted!

Let's all get in the queue to move to that utopian country which has miraculously escaped the problems afflicting the rest of the planet 🎡

This.

people seem to have this idea to emigrate, but how are they all getting visa’s?

One of my dc wants to do a year out in the US, maybe Canada. A visa is almost impossible without £££££ as you cannot work.

I agree 100% about what others have said. The media is brutal in this country and seems to be making this country out to be so much worse than it is. So many people want to move here for a reason! I have spent 20 years living in various countries in Latin America and Europe and in each country people moan about their government. Cost of living is high everywhere and to fit in to a non-English speaking country you need to learn the language. Even then it is always hard to feel at home. Go and travel and see the world, but don't expect things to be perfect, even if it is by the beach living under a palm tree. I came home from living in Spain, which I loved but I got tired of pickpockets, terrible customer service and bureaucracy and extortionate rental prices. Latin America was hard because of corruption and very high crime rates. Have you thought about a different part of the UK? I am from the south but came back to the Peak District which is a gorgeous and friendly place to live. Good luck to you whatever you decide to do

Really.. your observation is indicative of the country? Perhaps they met up after doing other jobs?

I lived there, they tend to get on with the job... with very early starts, annoyingly so, e.g strimming at 7am, bin collections at 5am.

Minor roadworks? Each gang has a portable set of traffic lights, when the job is done, lights put in the van, unlike the UK where a private company keep them up over the weekend and evenings.

Roads like billiard tables and parks kept tidy and litter free.