Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

Unfortunately, it feels as though the majority in the UK want Scandinavian levels of service whilst paying Dubai levels of tax!

I decided against it at your stage of life as I felt I couldn’t abandon my DC as they navigated their 20s, or my (now deceased) parents. I also twigged that every country has its issues and the grass was unlikely to be greener. In addition, I don’t think the UK is any worse than it’s always been, it helps that I don’t listen to/watch the news and I actively avoid people!

I think it’s partly social media, but also low standards of education over the decades coming home to roost.

I don't know about that. Some of the smartest, well-educated people I know are the most deranged.

It's becoming similar where I live. All the shops are becoming Asian grocery stores or restaurants. I've lived in the same village more or less all my life but it's barely recognizable from my childhood. No chance of my kids getting part time jobs because business owners only seem to employ family members or workers from their own community. Churches that my parents and grandparents went to are all being turned into mosques and temples. We are in a reasonably well integrated community but things just seem to be changing so quickly now.

Sad isn't it. I want to live somewhere multicultural (which is why I live in London). Not a single culture or religion...

Do it, who cares.

You do not have Sharia law anywhere in London, or anywhere else in the UK for that matter. Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

Where have churches turned into mosques?

Excuse my ignorance. I'm in rural North Yorkshire, so haven't come across anything like this.

I live in the East midlands.

Where are you hoping to find a country that has no problems? One that will not charge you for health care or other help; one with no vandal problems; one without immigration issues; one where you will be accepted; one where you do not have to pay loads in contributions to health care; one where populist politics is not gaining ground; one where no citizens desire that the government step in to deal with problems etc...........?

It is too easy to simply diss the UK when the reality is that all other countries have their challenges that they do not shout from the rooftops and that only become apparent when you live there.

By all means emigrate (and become one of those pesky people that we all love to hate - an immigrant) but do so for positive reasons. Go to France because you love the food; go to Italy because you love the art ...... but don't just abandon the UK for negative reasons.

I have recently had two pieces of expensive heart surgery and further investigations pending that might lead to more. At no point throughout this difficult time did I have to give a fleeting thought to the cost.

The UK has some of the most beautiful scenery and countryside that is a joy to behold and is to be treasured. Every time I have been away I have come home and soaked up the green around us all and wondered why I went to the huge expense of going away.

There is a lot about the UK that is not as I might wish, but that is the same for ALL countries. You don't find out till you are there.

We nearly left for France at one point, but decided that family trumped everything. The joy that has been mine from my grandchildren is incalculable and our close relationships with them is borne of close contact. And I do not know how I might have managed during my OH's slow decline and death without my lovely DDs by my side.

Think hard ..........

How are all the people planning on leaving the UK expecting to get visas to enable this?

Are you multi millionaires who can buy access and don't need to work? Are you in the essential workers categories for all these countries?

Do you have any chronic health conditions which will need to be paid for?

Or do you all think you can just rock up in a country and not leave?

I'm wondering if any of the people moaning about churches turning into mosques are or were regular churchgoers. Because the reason churches are closing is because congregations have plummeted. Use it or lose it- and if you don't, don't moan that another religious group is now making use of the building.

This has been going on for centuries, anyway. There's a mosque on Brick Lane that was previously a Methodist Chapel, but was originally built as a synagogue. (And if the delightful PP from East London was around 150 years ago, she'd 100% have been moaning about all the Jews instead 🙄)

@ButtSurgery is spot on. Have you actually looked into this?

Most of countries where you might actually want to live have very strict immigration controls. You can’t just decide to move there.

Most places are the same now. It's not a UK thing.

Switzerland is lovely imo. Immigration requirements for citizens of non EU/EFTA countries are very strict, however. And you'd need to speek French or German to settle successfull (or Italian, if you're in that part of the country).

I absolutely agree with PPs about social media!!

I'm not planning on leaving the UK but I do agree there is a very depressing feel to the place now.

Every where seems so crowded. Nobody seems to work (or not in my street at least). I'm retired now but paid really high taxes for some of my working life and I'm pissed off that it was used for pensioners at the time and now I am heading for state pension age it is getting pushed further and further back. I thought my money paid was getting putting into a pot for my retirement. I know, how stupid am I.

Food prices are def going up to the point where I feel supermarkets are taking the piss out of us all (perhaps that's not true but that's how I feel).

My vet (yes large chain no doubt owned by shareholders) has had a huge amount of money from me in the last few years.

I had to go private for dentist care so that costs each month now and I really worry if I get seriously ill there will be no ambulance to call and no help at the hospital either.

Nobody seems to take pride in working any more.

House prices have screwed the economy. My house cost 200K in 2019 and it's worth 250K now. So it's gone up almost 10k per year. Madness. It helps nobody. I want to sell up at some point and buy a similar priced house but now it costs more to move as my house is 'worth' more. Lots of estate agents etc charge you a percentage of your house price so woo hoo their fees are more expensive because my house is 'worth' more. Bollocks.

I miss the nineties when houses were easy to buy (and cheap oh so cheap). You could get a doctors appointment easy and ambulances came in mins. People seemed to take more pride in everything.

I don't think this is the worst country to live in and I'm not leaving but yes there is def a depressing cloud to living here that here that I never used to feel.

And what's with kids just kicking balls into your garden and running across it to get it. We used to have to knock and ask for our ball back and be really careful not to do it again. I know it sounds trivial and I'm not saying kids shouldn't have fun or play out but just a general lack of manners and respect or something seems norm now.

I've worked hard, very hard. I've saved up. I've tried not to use services and taken responsibility for myself. I'm not wealthy or from a wealthy background.

I feel politically homeless now. I don't want to live in a right-wing racist Reform-voter state or an equally bigoted middle-class socialist utopia.

I never thought I'd consider leaving the UK, but I wish I could afford to.

We moved to Italy, to the countryside down south. It's not been easy. The day to day quality of life far outweighs the challenges though.

I came to live here 15 years ago. UK is still good country to live. The golden age of pre-2008 is not coming back. Please think about your healthcare expenses in your old age wherever you're planning to settle down - they could ruin you. I see many pensioners coming back in their late 70s-80s because they cannot cope abroad anymore.

You should go. You don’t appreciate what you have here, but you’ll soon appreciate it when you are gone.
Good luck!

Do what you want, but don’t call yourself an ‘expat’…

No, it kind of is a UK thing. I know a lot of people like to think that it is the same in comparable countries but the UK is doing worse financially than most similar countries in Europe. The poor are just getting poorer. Just look at this UK inving standard review from March this year for example: https://niesr.ac.uk/publications/uk-living-standards-review-2025?type=report.

I don't see the benefit of putting your head in the sand and say it's the same everywhere, everywhere has problems, just leave then etc. Better to know what you are dealing with than to just put up with it and not complain.

You sort of are and aren't being unreasonable. There's people on benefits in every country, not because they don't work but because they don't get paid enough. Yes there are some on disability who are unable to work but I guarantee you they wish they could. Disabled people are everywhere and they are entitled to support. It's almost impossible to be one of those people who claim benefits in order not to work these days because the government have massively clamped down on it. The tabloids would have you believe that it's 'immigrants' getting all the cash and houses but this is also absolute bullshit. The majority of welfare payments are pensions because we have an aging population and a reduced birth rate. It's pretty much the same in every developed country.

However! I am really sick of the our biased media constantly spouting outright lies. I'm sick of the government and their complicity in genocide (amongst many other things). I'm sick of the NHS being deliberately underfunded, if it was funded and run effectively, we'd all be better off as a nation as healthier people means less people relying on benefits.

Personally, I'd move to Norway, Denmark or Sweden if I could. Or possibly Ireland.

Canadian here laughing at the ‘they can’t go outside’ comment.we have the -25C to +40C temp range where I am. Our homes have heating and air conditioning and it’s not an issue at all. Yes it’s very expensive here but the quality of life is fantastic. I feel extremely fortunate that my kids are growing up in this country and society. They are outdoorsy year round and going to fantastic schools. Housing is very expensive but hopefully that won’t stay that way with various initiatives being introduced. Saying all that immigration rules are very strict and we do have some Maple-Magas who would be better suited to the US.