Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

@Tanyasfootspa YABU OP. It's easy to think everything in the UK is awful when this is all you know, but there are very few options that are better. And just remember, wherever you decide to move to, ensure you choose a country that has a reciprocal social security agreement with the UK that includes state pensions (not all reciprocal agreements do) or yours will be frozen at the rate it is when you leave the UK (i.e. you won't be entitled to any future increases unless you return to live permanently again in the UK). These are the countries that do have a reciprocal arrangement, that includes state pension, with the UK:

• European Economic Area (EEA) and Switzerland
• EU countries (various agreements), Iceland, Liechtenstein, Norway, Switzerland and Gibraltar
• Barbados
• Bermuda
• Bosnia and Herzegovina
• Canada
• Channel Islands (Guernsey, Jersey)
• Ireland
• Isle of Man
• Israel
• Jamaica
• Kosovo
• Mauritius
• Montenegro
• New Zealand
• North Macedonia
• Philippines
• Serbia
• Turkey
• USA

😟😟😟

I moved to Portugal about 5 years ago, no children to consider but I was very unhappy in the uk for many of the reasons you've listed. Portugal isn't perfect by a long shot and there are many unhappy people here too, including me at times. But the happy times far outweigh the times in unhappy and I now despise having to go back to the uk for work.

I'd say give it a go but maybe in a way that you can return if you need to such as rent your uk home out and rent in the country you want to go to. If in a year or two you are still happy then make it permanent.

As a note, from speaking to many others who have made the move here, 2 years seems to be the deciding amount of time to see if you can make it work abroad. Lots go back around then, lots stay. Its totally personal to you and your happiness.

Although I do know of one couple, sold everything back home and made the move, rented a place and drove over. Decided on the mountain drive up to the rental that it wasn't for them and turned round, straight back to the uk! Sometimes you just know its not going to be right for you. I was lucky and knew that it was right for me

@Tanyasfootspa

Can't imagine why you - and the other many people who keep starting threads like this - think it will be any better/any different anywhere else. 🙄 OR that your country of choice will even want you. You may think that you and your partner/family members have plenty to offer and 'certain special skills' but I can guarantee that they will already have enough people there who can do all the jobs - that you imagine you will be better at than them!

Seriously, these threads are just ridiculous now! Stop romanticising leaving and setting up home in another country. It's incredibly hard to do, it upends the lives of everyone involved, it costs 1000s and 1000s of £££ to do, and there is no guarantee your country of choice will want you/allow you there, or even let you stay if you DO move there. You're also deluded if you think life will be much better anywhere else. Every country has its issues and downsides!

I will be staying here thank very much - in my country, (the UK!) I have NO intention of moving! Seriously, count your blessings and check your privilege! The UK is one of the best countries to live in.

When you typed it all into chat GPT to create that post, what did it suggest you do?

We all I've under English Law - but Sharia law is definitely a thing in the UK .

I'm always amused by people who complain about migrants (directly or indirectly) yet are apparently desperate to become a migrant themselves.
Except of course they'll use the weasel word 'expat' rather than 'economic migrant" to describe themselves.
I live in the UK - I recognise that there are quite a few issues at present; and things do seem to have been on a downward spiral for the last 20 years or so (massively amplified by Brexit of course) but I'm staying put. Better the evil you know and all that...

Indeed.

Yes of ten years and it's while some individual things and can be better or worse overall it's pretty much same shit different wrapping paper.

Having said that emigrating can be a great experience though usually when younger and childfree

Here’s the top countries in the 2025 World Happiness Report

You have British law not Sharia law, some schools may choose to honour religious holidays if a lot of children may be off anyway. What is the etc, public whippings?. People may choose to live by Muslim principles, but that is their decision and has nothing to do with the law here. Do you mean you don't have M&S or Tesco, etc? If it is a local high street with only small shops it will reflect the people living locally.

Well she must have at least one child under 3 years of age or one or more of them must be disabled to not work at all.

Unfortunately OP these are all global issues at the moment. Canada will be extremely tough to get set up in, free public healthcare means extremely long wait lists for anything non urgent, cost of living is very high.

Australia is great for those who moved many years ago, got housing at a reasonable price and are now paying lower mortgages but on good wages, trying to move there now with the cost of living, cost of housing, youth crime rate/car/house break ins on the rise (we have lots of friends and family living there, albeit they never mentioned all of the negatives until we visited for an extended period last year and it was all infront of us they then started to admit all of the negatives) a lot of locals were complaining about cost of living. If you're not a permanent resident everything is even more expensive and uncertain as the visa situation and rules change regularly and seem to make the whole process of moving incredibly difficult.

The rest of Europe it depends on where you're thinking because most countries have a lot of, if not all of the problems you're facing in the UK and in certain situations it will be worse.

We live in Ireland now, extremely lucky that my employer pays the highest level of private healthcare for my family (it would cost us thousands upon thousands each year if we had to pay for same) but the public health system is overcrowded and not efficient. Cost of living is high, the housing crisis is a dire situation. However the education system is fantastic in comparison to a lot of other countries, i dont think the Irish people quite realise how good it is (with the exception of lack of spaces for kids with asd which is terrible) the people are truly amazing, the culture and genuinely proud Irish people would bring a tear to your eye, the scenery is outstanding every county we visit I am blown away by yet another picturesque beach/mountain/national park/charming town or village, there is lots to do if you make the effort, always something on. We are lucky to be earning a good household income and have a nice standard of living, but its not without its faults. Lots of people on lower wages struggling, but also lots of people doing very well so its all dependent. Dublin city center however in my opinion is the worst representation of Ireland that there is and I hate to hear people saying they've been to Ireland but have only visited Dublin

Where in Europe would you be considering?

France has a higher productivity rate than the UK (but because we work more hours it balances out). But there are definitely things they do better. They have better infrastructure (trains) but then they have for a long time invested more in it. Which means higher taxes.

Sounds great we could do with them in this country. The UK now is a shit tip. Crap and litter wherever you go.

I’ve heard property in Canada has sky rocketed.

How are you planning on getting permission to live in another country, do you have skills they want, do you have a lot of money if you’re not going to be working? Will you have to take out expensive private health insurance? If you’re worried about the NHS you can take out private insurance here.

If I had the money I would go back to Switzerland, it suits me.

Where would you say the best pockets are, generally? I lived in the Lakes for a while and loved it, but would have preferred a bit more activity. Would love to know other areas where my husband and I would enjoy living.

Does it take into account the British complaining character? The sun's out it's too hot, it's winter it's too cold, the garden's dry we need rain, it's raining I can't get out. We love a good moan about everything and anything as you can clearly see on MM. A sunny attitude is positively frowned upon here, if you ask how anyone is the pretty universal answer is not so bad followed by a good old moan. Even when people have been on holiday to those happy countries they come back moaning about the hotel, the food, that people didn't speak English, didn't have good beer, the cost of everything, the crowds, you name it we can complain about it.

We are just back from 3 weeks in Australia, and all I can say, is that it was like Utopia compared to the UK. Beautiful sunny weather, gorgeous scenery, every town was coastal and gorgeous (we did a road trip). Our daughter and her husband moved there a few years ago. They aren't coming back (no plans at the mo anyway). Our plan is to keep our home here, but go out to Australia for the winters. Best of both worlds I think. Technically even though we are older than 35 (the top age to emigrate there), we would like get in, as they are looking for overseas police officers up to age 55 (DH is 52), but housing over there is much more expensive than the UK. Swings and roundabouts!

YES! I haven't properly been on Mumsnet for months and there are suddenly so many of them. I don't think it's too far fetched to suggest someone is trying to push a narrative and stir up dissatisfaction. And everyone's piling in and adding to it

I've lived in another European country. The health care was very good. One relative was glad to leave the States after 30+ years of living there and moved to Spain to join my brother. Both love it. Health service is brilliant there. But I've just read this from Govuk....
'The current broken asylum system currently costs the UK some £3 billion a year and rising, including nearly £6 million a day on hotel accommodation.'
6 million a day!!
This money could be spent on our health service, our schools etc.
I have many friends here from different countries. All came legally. I have sympathy with those fleeing war and oppression - Christians are targeted in a number of countries . But we can't accept an unlimited number of illegal immigrants. Not at 6 million pounds a day.

If you are less well off, your colleagues are being made redundant and it takes 4weeks to get a gp appointment, it doesn’t really matter what the MSM are saying or not saying.

Do you have French citizenship? Or a 10-year withdrawal agreement carte de sejour?

So if you have worked hard your whole life and are comfortable enough to be able to go where you like, how bad can it be in the U.K?

I am not denying there are problems, economically and socially, but if you are stable and secure how much does it affect you? In a way that is bad enough to see your kids once a year… ditto close friends and other family…and ageing parents.

I am all I. Favour of grabbing life by the lapels and taking opportunities to see the world, try life in a different way.

But I am not sure that I would give up so much in a mindset of retreat and avoid.

Do your sums. Cost of health insurance . The fact that a pension for expats doesn’t increase with inflation. Etc.

Me too! Can we pool ideas of where to move to?