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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird first date ?

110 replies

Clarkeroyce · 11/07/2025 06:08

So I went on a first date with this man that I’ve been talking to non stop for two weeks. He’s been literally calling me everyday. We had a few words a couple years ago but I ended up not following through with him.

anyways we get on the date, and it was awkward? He was staring at me the whole time but no complements, who was staring in space a lot. He even wore sunglasses, I asked him to take them off which he did but put them back on right after….?

Its just very disappointing because we have such good chemistry over FaceTime and phone calls, just for him to show up and he awkward and distant ? Was he just not attracted or into me ?

OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 12/07/2025 05:44

He sounds too odd for me. I'd find it really unnerving the way he was staring. The chemistry isn't there. There's no point seeing him again either if he ever does get back in touch.

Missj25 · 12/07/2025 07:06

JDM625 · 12/07/2025 01:14

I was early 20's working in a busy A&E department with lots of paramedics, police etc bringing patients in. There was a nice policeman and we chatted for a while about the patient, but there was a spark. When I returned from lunch, a colleague said that a policeman left his number.

We chatted on the phone (pre-internet) and seemed to get on. When I arrived for the date, I suddenly realised that it wasn't the man I'd chatted to at work, but a MUCH older policeman who happened to come in that day also. We didn't have another date!

🙈

The13thFairy · 12/07/2025 09:30

fckedupsituation · 11/07/2025 06:33

He was probably on coke or something else. Weird but I know a lot of people who do this when using something. Maybe was nervous about face to face so he’s took something.

Yes, he was on a comedown. And all the talking talking talking every day . . .

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 12/07/2025 10:11

Kitkatcatflap · 11/07/2025 20:39

That does sound very strange. I think it's so important to meet up early with someone you click with online - so you don't get too invested with the 'good on paper' and then he turns out to silent sunglasser man.

I would leave it, it was too awkward. Maybe he was shy, odd or weird, perhaps all three.

Yeah this. ^ It does sound strange @Clarkeroyce He sounds like an utter weirdo! Even if he had not been attracted to you in person - which is fairly unlikey because you had clicked so well online and he could see what you look like, he could have at least made a bit of effort!

I have had something similar happen to me. LOOOOONG time ago before I met my DH. (But this bloke wouldn't STOP talking - about himself!) A bloke in my area (I was 18 and he was 24,) kept pursuing me, and calling across the street 'hi beautiful, you look like a Hollywood star!' and he seemed really interested in me. He would start chatting to me when I was in the front garden doing some work for my dad, and he seemed OK...

After around 5 months of this, he finally asked me to go out with him for a drink and I said yes, and we met at a pub 10 minutes walk from my house (and 20 minutes walk from his.)

He came dressed in an army camouflage jacket, and a black beret on his head, (even though he'd never been in the army 😬and it turned out had never had a job - at 24, since leaving school at 16. He just lived off his mum and dad...) He sat there in the pub with me, with a little coin purse, and said I'll get the first drinks.' Then he tipped out about £2.00 in copper and silver into his hand, probably £10 in todays money.)

He got some crisps too, and that was all he bought all night, as he didn't have enough money for anything else. He kept pulling cigarettes out and smoked one every 15-20 minutes. My eyes were watering from the smoke! He was happy to sit there, talk about himself all night, not ask me anything about myself, and let me buy him 7 or 8 drinks. I'm not saying the man should always buy/always pay, but come on! 😆 Taking it in turns would have been OK!

He spent the whole night just talking about himself, and Elvis Presley who he was obsessed with, and said he was going to change his name to Elvis by deed poll soon. 😂 There were big were gaps in the conversation, because I just stopped talking, because whenever I tried to talk, he talked over me and made the conversation about himself. God he was BOOOOOOOORRRRRRING! 😖

After 3 hours I made my excuses and left. (No idea why I stayed that long, maybe politeness.) As I was leaving he said 'when we meeting again then?' I said 'I don't think so sorry, I'I just don't feel it...' I walked out. He didn't follow.

For WEEKS he kept bomarding with with love notes and letters, and mooning outside my front gate. I got so pissed off with it, and actually a bit upset that he wouldn't leave me alone. My dad had to warn him off the end. Told him to buggar off or he'd call the police. Never heard from him again. Did see him occasionally, and ran off the other way when I did! 😬

.

AnotherGreyMorning · 12/07/2025 10:15

He's an odd man.

Block. Move on.

Also don't text much before meeting. Waste of time. Often.

BashfulClam · 12/07/2025 10:20

My husband is really shy, by text we had great rapport and got on amazingly well. When we first met it 2 like getting blood out of a stone to get 2 words from him. I liked him though and the next date was better and now 28 years down the line I’m glad I tried again.

Fastingandhungry · 14/07/2025 07:52

Minimili · 11/07/2025 15:05

Subscription sunglasses? What do you get, new shades every month and a free trial of better vision?

I can see this being useful for the one month of the year we get some sun but unless you travel a lot or live in a hot country I don’t see the point 😂.

I have subscription sunglasses which I use all year round. Have done for years, your response is very odd, new shades every month? Eh?

EBearhug · 14/07/2025 08:04

Fastingandhungry · 14/07/2025 07:52

I have subscription sunglasses which I use all year round. Have done for years, your response is very odd, new shades every month? Eh?

I think it's an assumption that subscription is an auto-correct typo for prescription.

HotAndSweatyButNotBetty · 14/07/2025 08:10

Tbh the weirdest thing about this date is the fact you're asking us whether he was attracted or not into you. It doesn't matter.

Were you attracted to him?? THAT is what matters. You found him weird. Move on. Don't question his attraction to you.

Pg75 · 22/08/2025 07:21

🤣 this is hilarious. Love it!

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