Weird first date ?

[Clarkeroyce]

So I went on a first date with this man that I’ve been talking to non stop for two weeks. He’s been literally calling me everyday. We had a few words a couple years ago but I ended up not following through with him.

anyways we get on the date, and it was awkward? He was staring at me the whole time but no complements, who was staring in space a lot. He even wore sunglasses, I asked him to take them off which he did but put them back on right after….?

Its just very disappointing because we have such good chemistry over FaceTime and phone calls, just for him to show up and he awkward and distant ? Was he just not attracted or into me ?

Someone once said:

Only two kinds of people wear sunglasses inside. Blind people and arseholes.

Subscription sunglasses? What do you get, new shades every month and a free trial of better vision?

I can see this being useful for the one month of the year we get some sun but unless you travel a lot or live in a hot country I don’t see the point 😂.

This is why you don't spend 2 weeks talking before a date - it builds up all kinds of (false) expectations.

It sounds as though you're waiting for him to contact you OP- what do YOU actually want. I think you just need to move on (the sunglasses are a red herring, but yes, it's weird).

You say he was staring at you the whole time, you also say he was staring into space a lot and wearing sunglasses. I don't know how he can stare at you the whole time whilst also staring into space a lot or how you see where he is looking with sunglasses on.
Anyway, he may have had a migraine, I wear sunglasses when I have one. He may be sensitive to light, it can feel like being in the blaring sun in some indoor areas when it's very sunny. He may have an eye issue. He may be autistic. He may struggle with eye contact. He may have just been really nervous. Your not going to find the definitive reason on here. Just ask him.

No he’s 29 im 24

You guys his glasses were not prescription they were Versace glasses

You can get Versace prescription sunglasses….

You’re coming at internet dating all wrong. Take it from someone who wasted 10 years dating absolute schmucks.

Don’t get into texting back and forth like this is your best friend. The person you’re texting is a total stranger. Do not waste your time with this “Hey, how was your day?” crap. If you meet someone you fancy in a bar, are you so familiar 5 minutes in? It’s a false sense of intimacy and the serial POF interlopers thrive on it as a ploy to reel women in.

Use the platform as it should be used. As a means to MEETING new people. You don’t want a penpal, do you? You want a partner.

Don’t invest your time in people you’ve never met. Set up a date, set up 2 dates. Heck, set up 10 dates with 10 different men in a week. MEET THEM!!! Don’t peg your loyalty on any of their profiles. Meet them and decide from there.

And cast the net wide - meet people you’re not sure about from the profile. Especially people you’re not sure about from the profile, because the serial lurkers have got their patter down to a fine art!

You know full well this guy was a plonker. Shades indoors, right? So no more “Hey, how’s it going?”s.

NEXT!!!

😂

Maybe it was too sunny. If you've known him for a few years, you must have seen his eyes before. How often have you met before the date?

That was my first time ever meeting him

Bingo.. that was my first thought..coked up and hide the popping eyeballs ❄️👀

Sounds a bit shy.

Maybe autistic? I like wearing sunglasses out and about a lot even when it’s indoors, I wore them in hospital yesterday. The love bombing/calling everyday can be a thing too although I must say I’ve not done it.

or maybe he’s just shy and likes wearing them, I met my exes online and lots were sooo shy irl despite us chatting on the phone for ages beforehand.

otherwise yeah it’s possible he didn’t fancy you as much in person. What’s he been like via text since the date finished?

Oh dear. Just seen this.

sounds as if he didn’t like you as much in person, though it would’ve been better if he let you know. If he was keen he would’ve been in touch before now.

this has happened to me w online dating, it sucks x

That does sound very strange. I think it's so important to meet up early with someone you click with online - so you don't get too invested with the 'good on paper' and then he turns out to silent sunglasser man.

I would leave it, it was too awkward. Maybe he was shy, odd or weird, perhaps all three.

No wonder he had to cancel the gig in Manchester, he was too busy preparing for this date!

This. I’ve done a lot of online dating (lol) and wasted time. My partner now (of 4 years) I met online but I asked to meet irl after a week of chatting, refuse to be pissed about 🤣

On line is a gazillion times different than real life ..
I was chatting to a guy one time for 3 weeks , conversation flowed , & I thought he was very attractive..
Then met him in real life , he wasn’t half as attractive in real life , & I didn’t enjoy chatting to him, all about himself, & I heard so much about his job , i could have done his job myself, & he is a graphic designer 😂 ..I couldn’t wait to go home ..
Anyway, biggest mistake anyone can make with meeting someone on line , is presuming it will pan out perfectly in real life !
Being honest , you sound like you dodged a bullet !
Who the f sits down wearing sunglasses through out a date , sitting inside and it’s evening !.
Also , when 2 people click , the words “ distant “and “ awkward “ , not good !

I chatted to a man on the phone every day for a week and really felt a connection. Within 2 minutes of him arriving in our date, I wanted to run out of there screaming - it was horrendous.

As a seasoned online dater, you're focusing too much on the sunglasses! Who cares why? You had nothing to talk about, he hasn't texted you, and you got a weird vibe - NEXT! If you allow every bad date to get in your head this much you're in for an agonising time.

Had this happen loads, it’s easy for them to create a more confident, interesting online persona.
I must be an arsehole though, I sometimes wear sunglasses inside in summer as it can still be really bright.
He hasn’t text you OP but you haven’t text him either.

Exactly as @Ladybyrdsays. Don’t waste your time texting. Ask to meet early on. You don’t need a text buddy.
I let my DH through an introduction agency. No texting. They saw your profile, you saw theirs. If amenable you called and spoke by phone and if that went well you arranged to meet. You really know within a few minutes of meeting in the flesh whether there’s a possibility of a relationship.

I was early 20's working in a busy A&E department with lots of paramedics, police etc bringing patients in. There was a nice policeman and we chatted for a while about the patient, but there was a spark. When I returned from lunch, a colleague said that a policeman left his number.

We chatted on the phone (pre-internet) and seemed to get on. When I arrived for the date, I suddenly realised that it wasn't the man I'd chatted to at work, but a MUCH older policeman who happened to come in that day also. We didn't have another date!

Yes it was really good before the date lots of chemistry! I’m not sure what happened the vibe wasn’t there at all ….plus it only lasted a hour, the date was about 4 hours ago and he hasn’t texted me.

You've had lots of posters explaining that this was the false chemistry that can so easily be created when you communicate online (or even by phone) without actually meeting. For some reason you are ignoring this. It's really important to understand this so that you don't waste more of your time and effort with the next guy.