Loud Long Fart

[WhatTheHelll]

Aibu to be livid over this encounter?

I was shopping today and as I passed a man he let out a very loud and very long fart right as I was level with him in the aisle. There’s no way it was accidental as it sounded very forced.

Makes me think that some men just hate women and do things like this to make them feel uncomfortable.

That doesn’t mean it was forced. Most men are incapable of farting without raising a leg.

😮😮😮😮😮 FIVE MINUTES?? now that’s seriously impressive.

I bet they looked like a popped balloon afterwards 😆

Unless it was a woman who was wearing thick tights - they would swell up like hot air balloons if they were filled with a five minute fart 😆😆

What aisle was it? The beans aisle? Or was he stocking up on Wind-Eze in the medicines section?

I was crop dusting just a few hours ago in Asda.

This.

I hope the OP has part of a bowel removed and has a colostomy or ileostomy bag sometime.

ZERO control on the timing and noise of passing wind.

Not so funny then is it?

Well I saw a man on a bus today so there is your clear evidence that men hate women. Case closed.

I had totally forgotten about this post, thanks for the reminder 😂

Im assuming you walked away quickly and left him at it....

I think I'd have done the typical British think and laughed.

I've now got this in my head, but with the words now Long Loud Fart, and the howling noises replaced with a twenty-second ripper.

When my dad was undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer, he farted a lot. He physically couldn't help it and they were very loud and drawn out, 20 seconds would have been below average. People did get offended when we were out in public at times, Especially as he had that old 'pull my finger' type of humor and would just try to laugh it off but he was actually really uncomfortable and embarrassed and he stopped going to the shops because of it.

I'm not saying that this man that OP encountered wasn't just being an ass but sometimes there might be more to a situation then first appears :)

I think the OP should have farted back if she thinks people can fart on demand.

I have a stoma and don’t have control of the wind that passes from it and it can be very noisy. You know absolutely nothing about this man, so I’d just forget about it and move on.

Omg am laughing like a drain!

Ah, this reminds me of one of the things that made me realise my ex was a controlling arse.

I farted, and he said "don't force it, it's bad for you" and I thought "fuck me, he's even telling me how to fart now!".
It wasn't "forced" anyway. So I surmise, you could not possibly tell that.

I farted loudly once in Asda (not forced!) and the guy behind me applauded and said, “Good Arse!” which made me laugh as well as die a little inside 😳🤣😳

Very outing here but my DF once farted so violently after eating some salsify (?! sp?!) that apparently his bum lifted off the loo seat with great force.

On a similar note, my DS aged 7 is delightful and sitting on me farting deliberately daily. In my disgust and stifled amusement, I tell him off then guffaw loudly after.😅🤣😅

@Toetouchingtitties - I remember that thread, think it went in classics. This could go the same way.

Should we not be considering the possibility that OP actually DID the fart herself and is trying to deflect the blame onto the poor man?😃🤣

It sounds like Karl Pilkingtons Auntie Nora who had wind for 5 minutes 😂

I once went out for a curry & when I got back I could not control my wind. Must have gone on fir around a minute, on & off. Luckily I was at home but I've never moved to the bathroom so fast in my life 😯

I guess Raynor Winn is looking for a new book idea now, here we have it….

The Long Fart, a heartbreaking story of walking past a man on a costal path who “force farted” for 20 seconds.

If it was really 20 seconds and "full volume" the poor man would have deflated! 20 seconds is a long time, most people would call a 3-4 second fart a long one.