Loud Long Fart

[WhatTheHelll]

Aibu to be livid over this encounter?

I was shopping today and as I passed a man he let out a very loud and very long fart right as I was level with him in the aisle. There’s no way it was accidental as it sounded very forced.

Makes me think that some men just hate women and do things like this to make them feel uncomfortable.

Ah yes, Mumsnet, where farts are the work of the devil and should be the cause of a divorce rather than a perfectly natural bodily function. Where these delicate laydees always but always leave the room to perform their gas expulsion in private rather than inflict it upon anyone else. Apparently they always know it's coming.

I think we've found out why it took so long to say the word 'periods' on TV and why sanpro ads always used to be so twee. Some people are horrified by the fact that some aspects of human life aren't always pretty.

I worked in a supermarket for five years in my younger days. You’d be surprised how many men have the irresistible urge to fart in the face of a supermarket employee crouched stocking lower shelves. They did it to male employees, too. Presumably it was funny to do it to people who couldn’t call them smelly bastards to their faces, rather than specifically doing it to women.

There was a post on here some years ago that I've never forgotten, about a man in a supermarket who walked towards the woman posting the anecdote; she had a toddler in a pushchair, the man angled himself in a way that his arse was inches from the toddlers face and farted. And walked away smirking.

I haven't made this up (maybe the original poster did, I've no idea). But it's stuck in my head ....

Not embroidering the OPs tale however I have known men do this. General clues are stopping near you, standing closer than is normal, angling arse or waiting until you are level then making eye contact and/or smirking at you as you pass to get/gauge reaction. So, can be a ‘thing’ not main character syndrome or unfortunate medical circumstances. @WhatTheHelll I get you.

Is it a coincidence that an advert for "Top Trumps" appeared in the midst of all this fart-related reminiscing??? 😀

I could've used that emoji a dozen times in the last hour alone! There are some bonkers threads on here at the moment

Read

Bridget Christie: A book for her

"Bridget Christie is a stand-up comedian, idiot and feminist. On the 30th of April 2012, a man farted in the Women’s Studies Section of a bookshop and it changed her life forever."

Could it have been a prank like this person?

@TheGigoloAunt slightly ironic advert placing....

My mum used to openly fart loudly in public, very embarrassing and annoying but never once was it an act of hate towards the opposite sex.
Maybe get some therapy to deal with your hatred issues towards men and what you think they are trying to do to you.

Love it 😆😆👌

My daughter could and would definitely do this (she is 7 and farts like a trumbone, I've had her checked out and she's got no dietary issues, it's genuinely mad the frequency, sound and length). Some people are really farty unfortunately. I really doubt it was "at" you, but it's still gross. Maybe he's reached a stage where he no longer bothers to hide it. A boy at school used to do this and would just say "it's a natural bodily function, better out than in". It takes all sorts to make the world.....

I used to work as a home carer. Looked after a lady who was a bit posh. She used to hold her wind in alll morning. Soon as she got home and we had her on the toilet.....💨💨💨💨💨💨💨 It would have killed my guts to hold a fart in for five hours!!

I couldn't not laugh. I know he might have a medical complaint and not be able to help it. But c'mon, when was a rasper ever not funny?

Yep, I'm unrepentently childish. Sometimes you've just got to find joy in the small stuff! 😜

You should have responded with a loud and long queef to assert dominance.

Seriously OP, some people can't help it. I myself let out what I thought would be a silent one at a bus stop 10 years ago. Readers, it was not silent. And I will forever remember.

Well she did after being called by your DD!

I now have an earworm. 'Ben Nevis', by the Macc Lads.

Thanks for that, OP! 😂

He should be employed by MI5 or maybe not, unless he learns to be silent but deadly in true espionage style

I am a prolific farter thanks to a high fibre diet and diabetic meds, and I often let rip in public because if I didn’t my head would blow off.

Not once have I ever managed to target anyone, no matter how much I’d like to be able to do it on command.

I’ve also never managed 20 seconds - I feel like that much wind going out would collapse my body like a vacuum pack bag having the air sucked out.

If it was deliberate I take my hat off to his superior sphincter control.

You are letting your misandry shine through, OP.

Perhaps he was trying to communicate with you via Morse Code, and had reached a particularly long 'dash'?

I think this OP is a child posting.

That’s usually tragic boyfriends not randomers.

Some people don’t care, some people really can’t help it, but it’s doubtful, as a PP brilliantly put it, that it was a targeted attack.

SOS - Save arrrrrrrrrrrrrrsoles.

I'll get me coat.

Think of everything the Suffragette Movement went through, just for you to suffer a jet movement.