Obese children

[Scarfitwere]

I notice so many obese (primary age) children around these days, it was very apparent at my childrens' sports day and these poor kids could barely do the races. One sat on the side as they were too large to participate at all. I understand overweight adults and it's hard to lose weight etc, but these are young children, their parents control their food intake. Why are so many parents letting their kids get like this? Its setting them up for bullying, not being able to join in sports etc, and health problems. I just don't get it AIBU?

Even in the early 90s it was unusual to have fat kids in your class. We had 1 in our class, in our entire primary school, so maybe like 220 kids, there were maybe 12 overweight kids.

And there are some so traumatised by being constantly told they were fat and ugly when they were a perfectly normal, healthy size child that they aren't going to start fucking up their children's heads with all of it.

I had one child built like a racing snake and one who might occasionally actually fit into the uniform for her height instead of having it hang off her just before she went up a height size. The playground pricks still gossiped within earshot of their kids, so she was convinced that she needed to diet from all the 'you're getting fat, my Mum says...' bollocks. It wasn't particularly enjoyable dealing with a bulimic 5'5" 13 year old who weighed under 8 stone before she started 'dealing with it' in the way that her friends had learned from their mothers.

Not unreasonable at all OP I completely agree and see the same here- also in the North so may be a regional thing! I went to my goddaughters sports day last week and there were at least 7 children who were just simply too big to participate or did try to participate but really struggled due to their size and that’s just in her year group alone, and these are 6/7 year olds.

Yeah there will be the cases as a PP has said where it is an autoimmune issue- that’s not 7 kids in 1 year group though.

There is obviously a link between obesity and poverty and those on low incomes. However, like a few people have mentioned they grew up in WC areas and very few overweight kids were in their class, me included. Not all poor people are uneducated, so to blame it all on being uneducated it’s just a lazy assumption. Plenty of MD kids and adults are also overweight.

How do you know they were sitting out because they were ‘too large to
participate’ rather than the fact they are large being a side effect of some sort of health condition/injury which is the real reason they are sitting out? Was it announced over the tannoy that Little Johnny is too fat for the egg and spoon race?

Too many people eat too much UPF. In addition, estimates suggest that between 30% and 40% of people in the UK don’t get enough exercise. Obese children usually belong to families where one or both parents are also obese. The children can not control their own diet at a young age and so their health (and size) is impacted by the choices their parents make for them. And then by adulthood, it’s very difficult to reverse those behaviours.

I have to say I noticed it a lot less in the U.K. 🤷🏻‍♀️
There was the odd chubby child at my kids’ school, but I wouldn’t say any of those children were so overweight that they were unable to take part in normal, childhood activity - they’d be running around the playground alongside the average-sized children. I definitely noticed as my kids got older, that some of the kids that were chubbier in reception/Year 1 had massive growth spurts and they seemed to level out size-wise.

I live in the US now, and I am stunned at the size of some of the kids at school.
My children attend a school that takes kids from kindergarten (5 years old) all the way up to 8th grade (13 years old), and there’s so many kids that really are massively overweight. There’s a boy in my DD’s 3rd grade class (9 and 10 years old), who genuinely struggles to walk. There’s girls in the upper grades who no longer look like children, but like full grown, overweight women.
DH’s cousin and her husband are both quite big people - have been the entire time I’ve known them. Their children are also overweight, but over the past 6 months, they’ve taken steps as a family to lose weight and have been very open on social media about their success. They have a 7 year old DD, and her starting weight 6 months ago was 20lbs heavier than I am as an average height 30 year old.
There’s absolutely a link to poverty - particularly here in the US.
Junk food is exponentially cheaper than fresh food here.
For example: I am a sucker for gas station fountain sodas 🫣🫣 I can get a 32 fluid ounce, full sugar Dr Pepper for $1 (about 74p in British money). Whereas a bag of basic salad leaves is $2.60 (£1.91) in my local supermarket.
We are a family of 5, and if we were living on a minimum wage income like so many families are, it would be cheaper for me to buy five $1 cheeseburgers and a few portions of fries from McDonalds every night for dinner than it would be for me to buy the ingredients to cook a single meal for 5 people at home.
SNAP benefits (also known as food stamps) to assist low income families with groceries can also be used to purchase junk food in supermarkets, whereas I remember Healthy Start vouchers when my kids were little in the U.K. only being valid for fresh or frozen fruit/veg, milk, baby formula etc

Regarding the impact of poverty/wealth- I was lucky enough to have a grounds pass for Wimbledon at the weekend- there were tens of thousands of people there and I didn’t see a single obese person all day. Overweight- yes a few, but not obese.

Is anyone saying it’s the fault of the child? In fact I think OP is saying exactly the opposite, it’s not the fault of the child, it is the parent who has total control over the diet of that child.

As a child you eat what your parents provide, whether that is chicken & vegetables or pizza & chips isn’t up to you, whether your snack is an apple or a Cadbury bar isn’t up to you. You just eat what you’re given. And there’s also the parenting choice of whether you’re a “eat to hunger, when you’re full you can stop” or a “you must finish everything on your plate before you can leave the table” which impacts the way children grow up learning about food, hunger, what is healthy etc.

I certainly don’t judge any child for this, but do I judge the not just overweight but obese parents at sports day who’s children are equally so big they cannot even participate in basic races because of their size? Yes, I do.

Autoimmune conditions are rare, they do not account for the 10% of the class who are obese.

Yup this. Also there aren’t many youth clubs around like there were when I was young due to public spending cuts. Sad to think a generation of kids just spend their free time inside their home as they have nowhere safe to go.

Thanks you! I have wondered about ARFID but all I get told is to 'watch and wait' or to deny them to her and she'd eat when she is hungry.....after 3 days of having nothing but water she laid on the sofa with no energy and crying with stomach pains she still refused to eat anything and I lost faith in their judgement.

The no juice is no issue, she won't drink anything other than water except at bedtime when she will take milk. My son on the other hand will eat anything you put in front of him.

YANBU

It'll be interesting to see if the overweight parents who use WLI and have overweight kids, will eventually do something about their kids weight once they've slimmed down themselves.

Definitely UPF and lack of exercise are the main contributors.

My niece is overweight, my sister has tried so hard to control it by cutting down portions and buying more healthy snacks but she gets up in the night when she's in bed and starts making herself things, she even put locks on everything out of desperation but she worked out how to unlock it, sometimes it's not as simple as it looks, she's also very tall for her age and can reach things that are kept high up, it's hard to deal with when you're in bed and the child is sneaking food in the night

Our primary has quite a few obese children, and even more quite overweight children. It's really sad.

Absolutely this as well.

I grew up in a council estate (I’m a 90’s baby), and every day after school, come rain or shine, me and all the other kids would be out playing around the estate. On our bikes, kicking a ball around on the green space between the blocks of flats, climbing the conker trees our mums told us not to climb 🫠😂 Roller skating was also a big thing in my area - the local rink was the only indoor space really for us to hang out on the weekends, so Mon-Fri wed all be out on our skates, skating up and down the road. And as long as we were home before the street lights came on, that was that 🤷🏻‍♀️
I wouldn’t dream of allowing my own kids to do that nowadays.
We've got a playground round the corner from my house - probably a 3 minute walk away. I’d never let my kids walk there alone and play for hours without me there - just doesn’t feel safe.

No one is saying it’s the fault of the child. The OP doesn’t say that.

But we have to be able to have these conversations because childhood obesity is a real public health crisis, and you attempting to shut down an important debate is very unhelpful. Nearly 20% of 11-15 year olds are obese. 1 in 5.

They probably weren't, kids are supposed to look thin, you're suppose to see their ribs for example.

Does she have prader willie syndrome?

Parents don't know how to cook
Parents don't recognise a healthy diet
Time poor & Relying on takeaways
Parents living in temp accommodation with no kitchen

I don't subscribe to 'healthy food is expensive'. No it isn't but you do have to know how to cook.

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My nieces are overweight, parents are separated and both seem to feed them a lot of junk because it makes them happy and they feel guilty. And neither wants to be the ‘bad’ parent from the children’s perspective. Though I don’t think they’re actually aware they’re overweight and think it’s baby fat.
I think in the increase in having parents living in separate households plays a part.
But there are so many factors.

I don't have school going kids, but I know that only "good" stuff is allowed in lunchboxes and lots of stuff is banned. Not sure about school meals though. Anyway, given that lunchbox grub is so strictly monitored, I've often wondered if kids go a bit mad when school is finished and they go for every bit of crap that's available!

I’m a 90s baby also and had the same upbringing as you. Always out playing, loved rollerskating! It was very normal to see all the kids out playing and our parents not worrying. Couldn’t agree more about not letting your child walk or play there alone. I now live in the “cheaper” part of a very affluent area, some houses are sold for over a million, which is a lot for the North, but we have one main park, full of yummy mummy’s in the morning and families hanging out but I still wouldnt let my kids there alone.